Pursuing nonviolence

Yeah - I know, I know - why the heck am I writing so much today??? Didn't I get enough writing during the last six weeks? Apparently not. Actually, all the writing of the last six weeks really interfered with my blogging so I'm making up for lost time. At any rate, here's what this post is about: My interest in nonviolence.

Over the last year, I've found myself more and more drawn to nonviolence as a way of life - a philosophy if you will. I've recently (within the last two weeks) discovered that there are two main schools of thought around nonviolence: Nonviolence as a tool to change public policy or as a strategy in a conflict AND nonviolence as a way of life - a lifestyle choice. There is a very distinct divide between the two and I won't go into further detail. Suffice to say, I'm interested in the philosophical aspect.

That said - here are some questions that have come into my mind over the last couple of months:

1. Why am I so passionate about nonviolence/peacemaking?
   
2. What incidents in my life shaped (or are shaping) this passion?
3. Does the absence of meaning and conviction in my earlier life serve to strengthen my more recent passion?
4. Does the experience of physical violence carry more weight than experiences with nonphysical violence or the results of indirect violence?
   
5. What is the connection between personally experiencing violence and choosing to embrace a nonviolent path?
   
6. What happens to children who grow up in households that are not overtly violent but that have been deeply wounded by violence (i.e. the children of war veterens and such)?
   

At this point, I have no answers worth noting. If you have any comments, I'd love to hear them.

A sad realization

I've mentioned before that my biological father was Afghanistanian but, for all intents and purposes, I'm white. I was raised white and I identify with white people in many ways. I grew up in the Southeast US, however, and I also sometimes identify with blacks, especially because most of the black population I've interacted with have treated me as multiracial.

So what does all this mean? Nothing really except that I'm as much a racial goulash as anyone else. So why am I posting on this topic? I went to an Iranian festival today and, even though my racial heritage is from a totally different country, I was among people who looked similar to me.

"Big deal" you say "What's so sad about that?" Well, the Iranian festival seemed more like a big family picnic - the community members seemed so close to each other. I realize that this may not be typical of all Iranian communities and that I'm probably romanticizing it a bit, but I just had this sense of loss, like I'd missed out on something precious when my mother decided to deny my racial heritage.

Even though I was raised white, it's possible that there are parts of Afghanistanian culture that I would identify with. Now, with the country basically in a state of collapse, I may never get the opportunity to find out. I'm certain that I'll never know my biological father or whether I have any step-sisters or brothers but sometimes I wonder about them. I wonder if there is something in me that would resonate with the people of Afghanistan - beyond compassion and sympathy for their struggle. Is there something inherently Afghani in me?

I suppose today's festival just triggered a heightened awareness of my racial background and the realization that, although I may learn facts about Afghanistan, the culture will probably never play a role in my life.

Comments on Kerry's speech

(NOTE: This is a *long* post)

I've included the high points of Kerry's speech (as provided by CNN). You can find the full text of the speech here. As I've said before, I agree that Kerry could be a step in the right direction, at least on some points, but I don't think that we should blindly lead where he follows. It is the responsibility of thinking citizens to question Presidential goals and decisions, along with providing feedback and suggestions for things they would like to see.

My worry is that the US will be so relieved to have the Republicans out of the White House that they'll indiscriminately support whatever Kerry proposes without giving it serious consideration. I'm also concerned that there is so much shit to clean up that Kerry won't be pushed to address some of the harder issues but will be let off the hook because "it's such a mess and he can't do everything."

True, our government and our country are in a big mess right now and Kerry can't do everything. He needs to focus on some key issues and clear up some of the bigger piles and I think he'll do that. However, there has to be a plan for what things are going to look like after the clean up and that's what I think about. If he's going to begin cleaning up the mess that's been made of our relations in the world, what's his plan for our role? Are we going to continue being the country that says "Do as I say, not as I do?"

Probably - and that scares me. It's that kind of thinking that brought us to 9/11 and made us a target of terrorists. We've been such an arrogant bully nation for such a long time - flaunting our wealth (gained in large part by robbing the South (as in the Southern hemisphere) of its resources), refusing to cooperate with international treaties and organizations, and, in general, considering ourselves above any sort of reproach or reprimand.

Well, we aren't. We may be a wealthy and powerful nation but that's all the more reason to set an example by cooperating with international organizations, building treaties and relationships. We tell other nations to disarm and stop nuclear proliferation and yet spend more money on our military budget ($400 billion/year) than the next eight nations combined. We tell other nations to examine their environmental policies and yet our government spends its time ripping policy to shreds. We are quick to point out human rights abuses perpetrated by other organizations and nation-states and yet it's become plain that the US ranks right up there with them. I almost forgot to mention that we've declared war on terrorism but neglected to inform the American public that the US is the biggest terrorist nation on earth - so are we warring on ourselves?

It's time for us to stop being a nation of hypocrites, start cooperating with the world community, focus on taking care of our nation's people, and shift our focus from militaristic capitalism to global humanism.

That's what I didn't hear from John Kerry.

====================================================
My favorite sound bytes:
"There is nothing more pessimistic than saying America can't do better."
"In the weeks ahead, let's be optimists, not just opponents" (to Bush)
"...that we are on God's side" (although I feel this statement is problematic also)

Some things I thought were shallow:
"And we need to rebuild our alliances, so we can get the terrorists before they get us."
ME: Why don't we look at why they hate us so much?

"We need to be looked up to and not just feared"
ME: So we're going to scare them into looking up to us? Ummm...I think my contradictor-sense just kicked in.

"...if you give the American worker a fair playing field, there's nobody in the world the American worker can't compete against."
ME: Unfortunately, against popular belief, there's no such thing as a fair playing field for huge numbers of Americans (within the US).

What I would have liked to hear but didn't:
Addressing poverty and hunger in the US
Something about human rights issues
Anything about his plans for the environment
More about strengthening our role in the world in nonmilitary ways
Raising the question about US world resource consumption
US help in strengthening positive world institutuions and NGOs

==================================================
High Points from CNN

Presidential goals
"Make America stronger and respected in the world."
"Restore trust and credibility to the White House."

War in Iraq
Bring in more allies to share burden.

Foreign policy
"Never hesitate to use force when it is required."
Meet any attack "with a swift and certain response."
"Never give any nation or international institution a veto over our national security."
Lead global effort against nuclear proliferation.

Military policy
Add 40,000 active duty troops.
Double special forces to conduct anti-terrorist operations.
End "backdoor draft of National Guard and reservists."
Go to war only "because we have to."
Never fight "a war without a plan to win the peace."

National security
Immediately implement 9/11 commission recommendations.
Inspect container ships coming into ports.
Better protect nuclear and chemical plants.

Economic plan
New incentives to "revitalize manufacturing."
Invest in technology and innovation to create "good-paying jobs."
Close tax loopholes that "reward companies for shipping our jobs overseas."
Reward companies that "create and keep good-paying jobs" at home.
"Fair playing field" for American workers to compete in global economy.

Tax policies
"I will not privatize Social Security. I will not cut benefits."
Cut the deficit in half in four years by ending "tax giveaways that are nothing more than corporate welfare."
Cut taxes for middle class.
Reduce tax burden on small businesses.
Roll back tax cuts for individuals making more than $200,000 a year.
Make government "pay as you go."

Education
Demand accountability from parents, teachers and schools.
Reduce class size.
Create tax credit to families for every year of college.

Health care
Health care "a right for all Americans."
Make system more efficient to save families up to $1,000 a year on premiums.
Ensure that system allows patients to pick their own doctors.
Allow patients and doctors to make decisions, not insurance companies.
Medicare to negotiate lower drug prices for seniors.
Allow Americans to buy less expensive drugs from countries like Canada.

Energy policy
Invest in new technologies and alternative fuels.
Invest in cars of the future.

Campaign goals
Take the high road.
"Be optimists, not just opponents."
"Build unity in the American family, not angry division."
"Make this election a contest of big ideas, not small-minded attacks."
==========================================================

{sniggering}

I just heard something fabulous from some NBC news show:

"Be sure to join us next week for our urgent series on the 9/11 Commission's report."

Need I say that I question their use of the word 'urgent' in that sentence?

Once again, I say WHEW!

My last 'official' summer school class is over. I just finished up a course on Gandhi & Nonviolence and it was heavy duty on the information. I swear, I don't think I've seen so many depressing videos in my life! I'm glad I'm officially off until mid-September, I seriously need a brain break. I am going to sit in at least one other class but it's a weekender and won't be as intense (I hope).

My friend devo and I are now embarking on our book writing venture. He's going back to India while I'm gone to Charlotte so we'll be talking as much as possible before I leave on the 4th. I think this is going to be a darn good experience. We spoke with my CR program director about publishing our book as part of the up and coming CR series and he said yes. I'm pretty happy because that means we've at least got an option to get published in the US as well as India.

I'm not that vested in getting published, per say, but I think I'll enjoy seeing the book as an actual book, not just a bunch of manuscript pages. Well, that's it for now...gotta take a nap.

I've been remiss...

in that I've never mentioned my distress about the fact that most voters don't seem to realize that the President has the power to appoint many, many, many judges - including the Supremies.  Slate, however, has corrected my omission with a great article that asks that very question.  Why don't people seem to realize (or care) that even though we can boot out the President every four years, judicial appointments are FOR DECADES.

And the judges are who determine how laws are enforced.  All that legislation passed by Congress?  Guess what?  It's interpreted by all those judges - including the Supremies.  So we can get the good legislation produced by Congress and the Prez but if the judges interpret it differently, we're stuck with that interpretation - just as we were stuck with the Supremies' decision to appoint Bush in 2000. 

I'm the first to admit that I have been pretty darn slack with regard to 'judge selection activism' but my new political resolution is to pay more attention to who's going where.  Of course, this will probably require some rudimentary knowledge of the court system but that's too bad - I'll have to take the time to learn...

More DNC comments

One thing I heard that I found extremely disappointing is that (apparently), the DNC didn't have a rep at the Hip Hop Political Convention. Ralph Nader was there, though, so someone's realized the importance of those 10,000 potential votes.

I'm glad I'm not the only person who was impressed. On the off chance you missed his fabulous speech, it's here. You can get text, audio, and video.

See the man who brought the house down on Monday. Was he this good when he was President?

I'm watching Edwards speak now and he's good. He's definitely got that charismatic something that Kerry lacks but, honestly, his speech sounds more scripted than either Obama or Clinton's. He's sincere and emphatic, though, and seems genuine. I'm not sure why it's coming across as a bit slickster but it is...

Oh, almost forgot, Hillary was darn good also - good thing the DNC put her on the lineup!

One last person - I was looking for Dennis Kucinich's speech and couldn't find it on c-span but found the text here, at the Washington Post. (you'll have to create an account or sign in)

One last last thing - I've almost forgotten to mention the bloggers that are at the convention. Here are two of them:
dKos
pressthink

Complete list of all who were invited. Some were uninvited when the DNC realized it had invited too many...

IVF and stem cell research

I heard an interesting thing on Al Franken's show today. He mentioned that people who are against stem cell research are also, technically, against IVF. From what he said, the process of creating the embryos is basically the same except, I think, that stem cell embryos are frozen and IVF embryos are implanted.

So all you IVF people out there, stay abreast of what's going on with regard to stem cell research legislation or you may find yourself sans IVF due to a bunch of religiously dictated legislation.

Unfiltered

I just want to say how much I LOVE Air America's Unfiltered.  They're at the convention this week, Chuck D and Liz are onsite, Rachel's in NY in the studio.  Today, Chuck D. Davey D, and Aaron McGruder were talking about the hip hop presence at the convention and how the Democrats pretty much ignored them.  Although I'm only of the hip hop generation peripherally, I love the music and admire the talent of so many of the politically and socially aware artists.

Aaron was also discussing how long term issues for black people are often totally ignored because there are so many immediate and pressing disastrous lies coming out of the current administration.  I think this is true not only for blacks but for most other minority groups and anything that hasn't become a short-term disaster.  What's even sadder is that this has the potential to become a vicious cycle of addressing only immediate, short-term issues at the term of our long-term health as a nation.

A new voice?

Barak Obama gave a good speech and is an extremely charismatic and talented speaker.  "Politics of cynicism or politics of hope?" That's a good line.   Apparently, he's considered a brilliant, up and coming, and talented politician.  He's a civil rights lawyer who also teaches law at the University of Chicago Law School.  In all, he looks good on paper - it'll be interesting to see how it plays out in larger political arenas.

An honest discussion?

I think Andrew Stern, head of the SEIU, made a great point.  In all the hustle and bustle to get rid of Bush, any discussion of true reform (in almost any arena) has been stifled.  The Democratic Party has pretty much limited itself to planning responses to what the Bush regime is doing now, not pushing for new ideas and honest-to-goodness change.

This is part of the problem I've been having with the Democratic party - I know they claim that they're pushing a better 'plan' than that of the Republicans, but the plan they're pushing isn't anything revolutionary or truly new.  They're still operating from old stuff that's been floating around for a while.  Politicians in general seem to be thinking about issues in the terms that they've been defined as for the last 20 to 30 years (if not longer).

So who's going to redefine not only the debate but the issues themselves?  Education isn't just about making sure children pass tests anymore, just as civil rights are no longer about making sure that people can drink from the same water fountain.  Women's rights are now intimately connected with healthcare, pro-choice issues, childcare, and moving to the next step in having all their work and talents recognized.  Class issues need to be addressed, poverty and hunger in America are going largely unrecognized, and immigration concerns have yet to hear any sort of clear and defining debate. 

There is no discussion (at all) about the desperate need to begin reducing our militaristic way of interacting with the world, including drastically decreasing defense spending.  I hear a lot of talk about 'the environment' but little, if anything, about fair distribution of resources - where America is gobbling up so much more than its fair share.  I hear nothing at all about changing our basic outlook on the world and realizing that everyone else doesn't exist to either buy from us or work from us.

I know that most of us are desperate to have Bush out of the White House but at what cost?  Is it truly going to bring us new direction or just a set of the same 'plans' couched in more politically friendly language?  Will Kerry provide leadership for honest debate on these issues and all the others I didn't mention?  Would another four years of Bush's regime force us to 'hit our bottom' as a nation and seriously look at where we've gone so wrong?

In all honesty, I don't think either party is going to provide a Yes answer to those questions.  I don't know who will unless the people who live in this country start actually asking those questions.  Even though Kerry seems a more compassionate and intelligent man than Bush, I believe it's incredibly important that we not lose sight of the fact that he's (more or less) a more palatable version of the same product.  When it comes right down to it, however, is it a product we want to continue either producing or consuming?

First day of the DNC 2004

Here is a list of speakers & the text of their speeches on the DNC 2004 opening night:

Al Gore
Hillary Clinton
Bill Clinton.  The man rocked the house.  Kerry should not speak, Clinton said it all.

I absolutely enjoyed hearing Clinton speak - I don't remember him EVER being that awesome when he was in office.

More fun on the coast

I just got back from my latest trip to Camp Westwind.  It was quite fun but it's been an extremely long day.  Due to the outrageous heat the last two days, I haven't gotten more than two or three hours sleep a night.  Thank the universe the heat's gone, at least for tonight.  yay!  zzzzzzzzzzzz....

The smell of suntan lotion

This is just another complaint about the unreasonable heat out here in Portland, OR.  I rode my motorcyle home from school today (she stalled there on Friday so I picked her up today) and made sure I put on some sunblock so I wouldn't get a nasty burn.  I mention this because the smell of sunblock on hot, sweaty arms is just not pleasant.  It's supposed to be in the mid-80s the next few days.  Imagine - a break from the heat that's *only* mid-80s.

One of the reasons I was so happy about moving out here is that I thought I was leaving the heat behind.  Serprize, serprize, serprize...no such luck.

There are no words

I've been a faithful Getupgrrl reader for a month or two now and love her immensely.  She and Mr. Grrl have been dealt a tremendous blow in their search for babies, please send them your love and hold them in light.

Cities silencing voices

After reading about United for Peace and Justice's huge battle with the New York city's Mayor Bloomberg over their August 29 rally, I'm more convinced than ever that our fight for social justice has to be done locally.  I don't just mean that we need to do more local activism and support community groups, I mean that we need to seriously consider local politics and hold our local leaders MUCH more accountable.

If this mayor, a Republican supporter, is able to weaken and silence the voices of opposition within his city, then the battle is halfway won for national level politicians.  If we allow our local governments to oppress us in such an obvious and specific manner, it's no wonder the federal government thinks it can do the same.

An opportunity

Well, I've been offered an interesting opportunity.  One of my teachers has asked me to co-author a book with him.  He's a Gandhian scholar and he's been gathering research to write about civil wars (worldwide) and how Gandhian methods might be applied to help end the conflicts.  Although I'm neither a political/historical buff nor a Gandhian scholar, I can bring in the organizational aspect and some of my own perspectives.  It should be a great experience, however it turns out.

What I find intriguing about this is that I've never considered that I would ever write for publication.  My writing style is fairly informal, definitely not of the scholarly bent.  What's so cool is that when he described the style of writing he's looking for he described the way I write.  He specifically noted that he does *not* want to write for a scholarly audience but wants to appeal to a younger audiece and include explanations of important concepts & such.  

That's exactly the way I like to write!  I'm huge believer in never assuming that your audience knows what you're talking about and, because of that, you should include explanations and examples.  Even if your audience has an idea of your topic, it's always appropriate to define exactly how you're using familiar terms.  I also love writing clearly & simply and that's what'll appeal to teenagers and young adults.

More musings on the media

I came across this story and it brings up one of the problems I've had with labeling the media biased. In communications, there's an entire theory built around the premise that we seek out information that we agree with and that we reject (stay away from) information that we don't. 

Both sides are firmly convinced that the media swings the way of the other because we're both rejecting everything we don't agree with. I know there have been studies (albeit informal I think) to 'prove' that there's more conservative news than liberal, but I just don't know...
 
I'd never refute the right of conservatives to have their own shows & talk about their side of issues, etc.  One of the major problems I have with many conservative outlets is that they are MEAN!  They promote hateful and violent speech and absolutely disrespect the views of others.  I don't suppose there's ever going to be a clear answer to the biased media question but I certainly don't believe that bullying people and treating them like shit is an acceptable way to get your points across.

tidbittles

This is a great article on why half of America loves George Bush.  I still don't get it - he's considered a good guy because he goes to church services for black people and "you don't fake that"??

Unfortunately, the US isn't the only nation with biased media woes.
 
An interesting commentary that questions whether or not the media really is biased against liberals.
 
The 2004 Democratic party platform document.

Are you blue or red?

Not to dishonor Americans who are living on the poverty line, but this puts it in a global perspective.  This is a multiple choice quiz on poverty that I absolutely failed.

Five years ago, Colloquy (an academic magazine) published an article on class in America.  They got quite a number of interesting responses.  I would have linked the original article but couldn't find it.

Some interesting descriptions of different classes in America.  All of them seemed focused on the language used and whether violent or nonviolent behavior is encouraged.  I would also argue strongly against the 'criminal class'.  Crime is committed by people at all levels of society but the presence of so many members of the lower classes in prisons speaks strongly to the classism/racism of our judicial system.

This evening's thoughts, part 2

This is just a quick note about fantasy literature.  I've been a sci-fi/fantasy fan for years and years.  Not so much lately because I've focused so much of my reading on either spirituality, social issues, or school-related materials.  However, I haven't lost my love of the literature or forgotten what it meant to me when I was much younger.
 
When I was in 4th grade, my teacher (I can't remember her name) gave me a copy of Madeline L'Engle's "A Swiftly Tilting Planet."  I still have my copy of that book.  It opened up an entire world to me - a world of magic, beauty, and endless possibilities.  I began reading comic books when I was a teenager, mainly the X-Men and some other Marvel comics, but a few other titles.  I was enchanted with the female superheroines and I always knew I could be one.
 
Because I never talked to my parents or friends about what I read, no one ever told me it was make believe.  On some basic, unconscious level, I believed.  I knew that I could do those things if someone would teach me or if I could somehow unlock my latent ability.  I still believe that - to this day.  I still have the basic belief that everyone has a super power, it's just a matter of tapping into it.
 
By the way, my favorite fantasy authors are as follows:

• Madeline L'Engle
  
• C.S. Lewis
  
• Charles de Lint
  
• Melanie Rawn
  
• Tolkein
  
• Robert Jordan
  
• Orson Scott Card
  
• Walter Wangerin
  

This evening's thoughts, part 1

I'm torturing myself by watching Schindler's List.  I know I'll be crying before too long, so I'm writing before the weeping begins.
 
On a completely different note, I had a bit of frustrating experience today.  I spoke to my third master's program advisor and came up against a bit of a wall.  (Thanks to jneal for helping me figure out the problem)  The wall is simply that it's difficult for me to articulate exactly why I've selected the classes I've decided on for my coursework.  The problem is that I'm designing my own curriculum and I don't have a detailed, concise idea of what all my work is going to lead into - jobwise, that is.
 
Because I'm following my heart and I don't have the particulars laid out, it's a little difficult to give solid reasons why I picked one class over another.  Also, I need to know what they're going to be looking for when it comes time for the written/oral exam.  Since I'm not going to write a thesis or create a project, I'm kind of at their mercy with regard to the final 'test' hurdle. 
 
jneal suggested that I simply tell them that I'm not exactly sure what the end result is going to look like for me personally but that I can work (to a certain extent) from what they'll expect me to know for the final testing.  That's a start, at least.  Hopefully they can work with me from there. 
 
In all, this is proving to be more fun that I could have ever imagined.  Following my instincts and selecting classes that 'feel' right is amazing.  I can't even begin to explain how much has opened up for me in the last month.  I can only imagine how much better it will get as time goes on.  The universe is truly magnificent :)

Media commentary

I'm watching the first episode of Dr. 90210 and it's fairly disgusting.  A woman in her mid to late 50's is undergoing a chemical facial peel so she can look 20 or so years younger for her wedding to a man at least her age.  Why isn't he in there getting his skin chemicalized with her?  Because it's perfectly okay for a guy to look old.  Effing bastards. 
 
And she's totally bought into the whole thing - claims she wants to be his 'trophy wife'.  How can ANY woman say that and keep any shred of dignity or self-respect?  I note also that she's wearing a scarf to hide her still mid-50s neck from her early 40s face.
 
Second comment - I saw the WB commercials for the 2045 movie - the one where the US president of 2045 is growing up today & we get to watch him or whatever.  Guess what?  He's a privileged, educated, attractive white male.  Who's surprised?  You'd think that we could at least pretend that in 40 years we could have either a woman or a person of color in the 'White' House.  Apparently, TV producers don't have that kind of imagination. 
 
No big shock - since watching a bit more TV recently, I've realized that, except for Joss Whedon, there's almost no one worth a shit, let alone worth watching.

tidbittles

I wish she was my congresswoman!  In fact, I wish more of our politicians had her intellects and guts, period.  Apparently, no one is safe from her wrath, however, and that may detract from her credibility.  She's said some things that we all think but she may have directed her comments at the wrong people.
 
Holy schmoly - I'm not sure what to think about this report.  This is what happens when coporate ways of doing business merge with terrorist interests - clearly communited problem defining and solution proposing that makes terrorism sound like a somewhat logical business venture.  At the very least- depending on its accuracy - it gives a reasonably clear picture of events and details surrounding Al Qaida's operations.  More importantly, for me anyway, it details some of their motivations and broad strategies.  I wonder just how accurate it is...
 
Recapping Abu Grhaib and then finding out that even MORE reprehensible things happened and are (big surprise) being withheld from the public by our government.
 
We can all thank the Whitehouse for letting us know about Saddam's brutality.  Hmmm...looks like our people might have taken these stories as inspiration.
 
Once again, America demonstrates its moral and religious superiority by punishing the rest of the world for trying to plan families.
 
At least someone is trying to uncover and round up terrorists!  Apparently Americans are too busy torturing civilians to actually fight terrorism.  Remember this - if Bush starts going on about Iran being a terrorist haven.
  
This isn't too surprising - especially considering the Bush administration's medieval attitude toward women.  If I weren't so anti-violence and pro-peace, I might consider it myself.
 
So who's shocked by the idea of doctors getting kickbacks from companies who profit when doctors recommend drugs?  I just wonder who came up with the whole cholesterol scam?

YES!!!  International oversight in the upcoming election would be okay in my book.  The less chance Bushco has to steal another election the better.  Allowing inspection monitors in might also help our reputation in the international community.

Another great musing on the upcoming election and our responsibilities as citizens.

Don't make me look

I've had a pretty rough time with the whole 'media as sheep' thing recently.  I just don't want to believe that our country has been so usurped by the conservatives.  I want to believe that our country is run by fairly decent people; people who have made mistakes but are honestly trying to keep things fair and just for everyone.
 
I have since realized that I was wrong.  Our country has been sideswiped by a fairly small group of elite, wealthy, and privileged people.  It's impossible to describe how thoroughly these people have taken over our government, corporations, and media.  I didn't want to admit that our media is also part of the takeover.  I still don't want to admit it but, after today, I can't run away from it anymore. 
 
No matter how I try to be fair and reasonable and say stuff like "It's a free country, they can say what they want", it's become glaringly obvious that the media is the mouthpiece of the conservative perspective.  I think what brought this home so abruptly was listening to Al Franken's show on Friday, July 14th.
 
Listening to the clip from O'Reilly's show where he viciously attacked and disrespected Jeremy Glick; refusing to even listen to him or think about what he was saying.  It wasn't that he disagreed with Glick or was aggressive in his comments, it was the sheer, unadultered venom he unleashed.  I can't believe this guy has a show, on a tv station (even though it is Fox), and he gets paid to demonstrate hateful, despicable behavior.
 
What's even worse is that he has enough viewers that the station can keep him on.  What has our country come to that these hatemongers are the major voices most people hear?  Why is it that people are willing to hear it - that they listen to such vitrol and think it's normal, warranted, and acceptable?  I realize this is probably a pretty foregone conclusion for almost anyone who's been following politics for the last few years but it took me a while to really accept it.
 
One more note - why do people act like the liberal response to all this venom is an overreaction?  If anyone has ever listened to O'Reilly, Limbaugh, or Hannity and heard the absolute jaw-dropping hatred they spew, their questions about whether or not liberals have a right to be angry would be answered.

Relief!

Okay, I was lured out here under false pretenses.  I was told Portland was rainy, cool, temperate, etc.  In the five months I've been here, I've seen almost no rain, nary a drop.  It's been sunny, dry, and, for the most part, hot.  We went several weeks with pretty moderate temperatures but the last 4-5 weeks have been ICKY!
 
90 degrees + no AC =  hot, sweaty, stinky, and sluggish.  Talk about weather designed to make you feel as fat as humanly possible, all the time...
 
Well, the whole reason I wrote this little post was to celebrate the purchase of my new Lasko Windbox 30.  A small, 12" fan that is currently saving my life.  I never realized how much difference a pretty, little silver fan could make to my comfort.  It was worth the $20 - and more.
 
Viva la fan!

Night Noises

Since moving here from Charlotte, I've missed nightly summer thunderstorms.  Not that I've missed the preceding humidity and unbearable atmospheric tension, but I've missed the sheer physicality and enormous presence; the shocking exhileration and release when the rain begins to pummel the earth.  Thunderstorm rain in Charlotte is violent and punishing - pummeling the earth in great, hard drops that bounce away and run off.
 
Sheets of water flood the roads and gutters, slashing floodwater that can't be accepted into the earth because of its ferocity.  Demanding, insisting, there is no request for admittance or gentle asking for acceptance.  There is only the onslaught of hard-driving rain.
 
I woke the other night to a quick flash of lightening and thunder, murmuring apologies for striding through my dreams.  I heard the rain, like a drum section - percussive and musical - cautiously tapping on the sidewalks, brushing across the foliage outside my window.  I could hear the poink of a wooden xylophone, the dat-dat-dat of thumbs tapping on a drum, the swush swush of a metal brush on a high hat.
 
I felt myself return from as if from a far distance, only sluggishly becoming aware of my limbs and trunk, heavy and motionless on the bed.  I woke slowly to the sigh of the earth as the rain fell and the exultation of the air as it released the rain.  My sleepy ears heard plants rustling, drinking in the rain and vanquishing their thirst.
 
A lovelier, more polite storm I've never heard.  What a generous and gracious gift.

It's over!

BTW - I'm finally done with the four week crash course in heavy-duty, serious-ass graduate classes.  I wrote my final paper today, hand delivered it and am now watching the Biker BuildOff, enjoying some terribly unhealthy pizza and Ben&Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream.
 
I better enjoy that lousy food because I'm going to take the next couple of weeks to detox (from unhealthy food) and get back on a healthier living program that includes more exercise than scooting my office chair around my living room. 

Revelations

I don't know if I mentioned this before but I did a live interview with TVSet for the conference I helped organize.  The only reason I bring this up is because I stayed up last night to watch the taped show and I saw something unexpected.  I saw myself and I realized that I do not look like a white person.
 
For my one reader, I realize it may seem odd to hear me say that but it's true.  I absolutely look multi-racial, although I could be a mix of any number of races.  For the record, my biological father was Afghanistanian so I'm half mid-east, half whatever (I think American Indian and German).  Watching the show, however, it seemed so obvious to me.  It was unexpected, I guess, because I see myself all the time and I've never 'been outside' myself before.  Definitely an interesting experience.
 
I also realized that I do have a very slight, very soft Southern accent.  That's a hard thing to admit but I can't deny it anymore - the South did leave its mark on me.

Holy gamoly

I just finished my Leadership for Sustainability paper and it was a doozy!  This whole "tie the theory into the application" thing is killing me!  It was a good paper, I think, pretty comprehensive and, overall, probably not doable.  Oh well, it was a 'wildest imagination' paper so I really got to look at what I think it would take to make a sustainable community.
 
One down, one to go.  I've still got my Adult Education paper to write but that shouldn't be too difficult.  I'm going to write about what peace education really is and that will be an excellent time for me to really think about what I'm going to be doing with my degree.  Good timing also as I have a meeting with my 3rd (hopefully) advisor on Monday and now I might actually be able to talk about what it is I want to do.

What the fuck?

Once again, our media displays its spectacular talent for doing nothing. You may wonder why I'm saying this so I'll tell you: Kerry has been asked about why he voted for the Iraq war and seems to be squirming uncomfortably while answering. He fucking should be squirming, as should all the rest of those asshats in the House.

If I, an absolute political neophyte, KNEW that I hadn't seen anything remotely resembling proof of WMD (the opposite, in fact), shouldn't those "skilled politicians" on the Hill have at least asked for further investigation????? And now the media is letting those lying shiteaters off the hook. Amid cries of "we didn't know", "we were tricked", and "we were lied to", they're all wiping their foreheads - happily - because they know the media isn't going to call a goddamned one of them to task.

There aren't words strong enough to describe their cowardice. There aren't words strong enough to describe our media's spineless lack of investigative ability or the obvious lack of interest in actually reporting news.

Why do I continue to piss myself off by thinking about this stuff?

tidbittles

Need I say more?

Oh, this is great! I notice that illegal moving of $700 million dollars from the war in Afghanistan to the war in Iraq is missing though.. By the way, Bush's military records appear to have been 'accidentally' destroyed. Sort of like the countries we've invaded.

Preach on, brother man! Although I'm not sure I entirely agree with the "leaving office in worse shape than Bush/Cheney have done" comment.

Wal-Mart SUCKS!

I've been boycotting Wal-Mart for several months now and have been urging everyone I know who still shops there to cease and desist. Thanks, DG, for the great rant about how absolutely disgusting & horrible Wal-Mart truly is!

Native Americans

I'm watching a show on 60 Minutes II on diabetes and Native Americans (the Pima tribe). It appears that in the past 60/70 years obesity in the Native American population is growing at a staggering rate and diabetes in people over 30 is growing at over 50% (the 'normal' population rate is 6%) a year (I think per year).

From an energetic standpoint, diabetes is often a 3rd chakra disease - reflecting serious issues around personal identity, ego, and sense of self. If this is true, in these cases, it's certainly no wonder. Are there people in America who have been more thoroughly robbed, raped, displaced, spat on, disrespected, and basically shit on? I realize that blacks have possibly had similar experiences, but it's happened to Native Americans on their own land - land that they lived with for thousands of years. Which is the greater crime - violating a people in their homeland or removing them and then violating them?

Obesity, in this instance, seems a protective device - layers and layers of slow-vibrating energy that are accumulated as protection against whatever they feel is attacking them. I guess there's any number of things that can be seen as attacking them - society, American culture, American government, and so on. I can't even begin to imagine how scared and angry they feel.

I haven't posted much about energetic communication recently but I've had numerous opportunities to observe, interact, and notice a wide variety of energy dynamics in a lot of different situations. I'll try to remember and post my observations more frequently.

Marry who you want to!

It looks like the anti-gay marriage amendment has been dealt its death blow. Hopefully, it will not imitate Christ and 'rise from the dead'. I discovered that Senator Gordon Smith (R) of Oregon supported this disgusting attempt and you can rest assured that I will NOT be voting for his ass in November (or whenever his next election cycle rolls around).

Offerings

I just saw a commercial that walks the viewer through using a beer and onion broth to simmer bratwurst sausages just before grilling. "Pretty darn commonplace" I can hear my loyal reader grumbling. True, but the funny bit is this: The male chef successfully grills the aforementioned brats, puts them in buns, loads on the condiments, and then offers the plate to his lady o' choice for her beaming approval.

I just thought this was a hysterical twist on the ancient 'hunter-gatherer' way of life. I thought about our male ancestors coming home after a long day hunting and offering the bloody carcasses to the women, hoping for the same beaming smile of approval.

Could it be considered progress that the modern day chef cooked his 'prey' and served it himself?

{WHEW!}

This is my first post-conference post. Yes, I realize that sounds odd but it's just the nature of the sentence. Because I'm exhausted & getting ready to leave for class, this will necessarily be short.

WHEW!!!

It was great, it was an absolute and total success, and it's over!!! My love and gratitude to all who helped thast and myself pull it off. tmor, bwri, rpor, mmil, corb, ieas, and any other CR folks I may have missed. To all our presenters - you are an incredible, amazing, intelligent, heartful group of people and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to meet all of you.

Til next time...

Watching Britney

I'm working on writing my gazillion papers that are due this week but have also been watching the E! special on Britney Spears. There are some things that I like about her and some things I don't. Even though she perpetuates LOTS of stereotypes about women - including women using their sexuality as a tool/weapon to get ahead and the idea that physical beauty is of utmost importance, she also demonstrates that women can get ahead.

One of the reasons I don't harp so much on her using her sexuality is that she was only 15/16 when her career really began. She has evolved into a more sexual female but I do think it was the combination of talent and attractiveness that got her started.

That said - she could seriously get her shit together and demonstrate that women can do more than occasionally throw money at charities and shop till they drop. She's so high profile that if she began promoting community service and education as important, much of young America would listen. Come on Britney, where's the solid stuff???

one other thing

Oh yeah - I'm just now reading The Da Vinci Code and it's amazing. That's part of the reason I'm not interested in reading/writing/studying - I can't put the book down. I've just read the first few chapters and I'm wondering if the things he wrote about the elimination of the feminine mystique from religion and worship in general. Five million women in three years? It's another holocaust - an earlier, more primitive holocaust that has absolutely changed the course of history for the last two/three thousand years.

It sounds true but lots of fictional stuff sounds true. What does it mean if it's really true? That the patriarchal system is even more heinous and disgusting than it already seems to be?

tired

It's the end of the third week of summer term and I feel wrung out. Thank goddess I didn't have class tonight - I don't think I could have taken another discussion about the horrible shitty things that white people have done. Actually, it's pissing me off that women are just lumped in there because, if I recall correctly, women were fucked pretty badly also. This whole Euro-conqueror thing and the temptation to bash white people - should it really be directed at the women who were pretty much enslaved themselves?

I know I should be preparing one of my *numerous* assignments that are due next week but all I feel capable of is nothing. I did drive to the store to get pizza and ice cream (Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie). {big sigh} Only one more week...

this may seem gross but...

I really get tired of hearing about all these ways to cover up various female odors - regular vaginal odors, odor that escapes during the menstrual cycle, and any other random smell that the female body may emit. I'm the first to admit that we women can get kinda funky but I wanna be *real* clear that there are MANY men who are also quite, quite funky - around the penis/testicles and in other body areas.

So what am I griping about? I'm bitchin' because I don't see any 'male odor-prevention' products other than deoderant. Why are there no male crotch sprays or penis wipes? Why don't they have special pads for men on the off chance that they leak during the day or some fluid escapes the penis? Why is feminine odor portrayed as so offensive?

{groan}

I'm watching a couple of minutes of an E! story about Paris and Niki Hilton and I have to admit, my eyes are rolling. Every time someone says something like "they're just two sweet girls" and "they have feelings too", I have to supress a big "through the nose" snort. Lemme just say that I realize they're human, but they're so privileged in so many ways, I don't even care about their "feelings". Give me a break.

Supersizing!

mdal and I went to see Supersize Me yesterday - it was a great movie, although very disturbing. Even though I'm *not* a fast food eater, I'm now extremely motivated to kick up my exercise regime a notch. Even though it'll be a little challenging the next two weeks, I'm committed to adding more exercise into my daily routine...

politibittles

hmmmm....because cancelling elections ALWAYS work in a time of trouble...

tidbittles

what an incredible story. great website too...

shitty neighbor

My neighbor is a fat, inconsiderate, shit-eating, rat bastard. I don't know what the fuck his damage is but he's just an asswipe. He's been an absolute asshole every time I've tried to talk to him or come to some mutual agreement on how to handle noise issues. I've spoken to my landlord, who was supposed to lay the smack down and enforce quiet hours, but Shitty Neighbor seems to have forgotten about said rules. The fucker's got his TV turned up so loud the people in the Pearl District can hear it. Is he deaf, along with being an asshole?

Stream of consciousness

I haven't been blogging much lately and I find that I miss documenting all my thoughts and ideas. I also realized that much of my blogging in the last few months has centered pretty heavily around politics and what's going on in our country's government. I'm taking a short break from the political scene, partly because most of my energies are focused on schoolwork & conference stuff, but partly because I just need some rest.

I understand why people get involved in politics, it's quite addicting. The energy, the adrenaline, the passion, and the temptation to lose yourself in the fight. I guess that's that problem - it's so easy to get caught up in the rush to win that it's easy to lose sight of the goal. The goal of politics is not to get people elected or pass legislation, the goal is to improve the quality of people's lives.

That is something I don't want to lose sight of - that my goal is to help improve people's lives by means of education. And in that vein, I had an interesting little discussion with a classmate tonight. Actually, she decided to give me advice about my classroom behavior and how it isn't quite what is expected of a 'peace educator'. She also saw fit to throw in some comments about how it's not our behavior but how we feel that really counts.

Her little advice column was inspired by her interpretation of my behavior towards another classmate. I won't disagree that my impatience with the other person probably isn't disguised at all but I'm extremely aware of that. Being a peace educator doesn't mean I'm going to be perfect or that my behavior is always going to be loving, nurturing, and kind. I'm going to fuck up, be mean, make mistakes, and possibly hurt feelings.

Knowing that I'm human and that I'll make mistakes that might hurt people or cause damage doesn't make it any easier. I don't want to hurt anyone but I have to accept that I might. I realize my classmate's intentions were good but I was still really angry - especially because she's exhibited the same sort of behavior she claims I have. It also bothered me because I would never just start critiquing someone else's behavior or offering criticism unasked. Even if I felt their behavior was inappropriate, unless it was directed specifically at me I would leave it to the two of them to work out.

There are probably some cultural differences and such but she really pissed me off. She should seriously check her own behavior & such before commenting on someone else's.

There have been some other thoughts running through my head but they've been scattered - mainly due to the incredible amount of energy I'm expending keep up with all my schoolwork & the conference details. If I didn't have a *real* grasp on the notion of 'finite amount of energy', I do now. I'm not willing to burn myself out so I'm doing almost nothing other than school business. Oh yeah - and taking lots of naps.

I had a thought about something that I think would be a cool project for school: Offering student-led seminar/workshops. For example: If a graduate student were interested in a topic like film and conflict resolution, she could offer a 90 minute teaching workshop. These would all be student led, possibly grouped as a series or just as ongoing events. It would be a great venue for students to get some practice presenting their information and, hopefully, also bring them some good feedback. I'm going to talk to my program director about my idea & see if it might be something we could try out in our department.

I've also been thinking a lot about my recent feelings about wanting to dance more and what dancing means to me. I've been thinking about how dance in the US (and maybe elsewhere) is so structured. We think we can't dance unless we take lessons & dance within a specified framework. Dancing, and physical movement in general, aren't terribly encouraged in our culture. Sports and other structured forms of movement are about all we allow ourselves.

One of the reasons I love bellydance is because it's derived from the original dance and celebrates not only the female form but female body movement. Not to get all 'wannabe dance theorist' here but I think that dance should be about encouraging people to move their bodies and use their physical form as a way to reconnect to their own divinity. I strongly believe that dance technique is a tool to this end but I also believe that it's become an end unto itself.

We've lost the original reason for dancing and people now feel they aren't qualified to dance unless they take lots of lessons, perform, and reach a certain degree of technical proficiency. I don't believe any of that. I believe technique is useful and is a *great* tool to help people learn how to move their bodies outside their normal movement, but I don't see technique as the goal. That's what I learned from my instructor - that it's not about the technique but about the feeling, allowing the music to move you, and experiencing oneness with your spirit.

It's because of this that I feel I can help guide people into rediscovering their bodies through using bellydance and other kinds of movement. I don't mean as a paid professional or a performer, but as a woman who can help other women reconnect with their bodies. I guess we'll see what happens but I'm really looking forward to giving it a good try.

That's all for now...