Opening night at the RNC

I'm watching McCain's speech and am impressed that he's maintaining such a calm and courteous demeanor - knowing how much he dislikes Bush and his policies. [Cheney the Vulture stands up to take a nod] What absolutely disgusts me is that 15 minutes into the speech and all he's talked about is Sept 11th and the resulting war(s).

HOLY SHIT - he actually mentioned Michael Moore (disingenous filmmaker) and F9/11!!! I can't believe he actually brought it up! What GREAT publicity - Moore must be a MUCH bigger influence than they'll openly admit if the speechwriters feel it's necessary to try and discredit him at the RNC!

20 minutes in and still no mention of anything other than war, defense, wmd, and the threat Saddam posed. So far, the mention of F9/11 has drawn the biggest response - much more than any mention of Bush's decisions or tactics. Another observation - there's NO discussion of policy, either current or proposed, just a great deal of description and praise for the decision to go to war. After listening to both speakers, I still didn't hear anything about either future policy plans (even regarding the war) or about ANYTHING other than 9/11.

McCain:

Defense must be our first priority
Winning the war against terrorism is our govt's first priority
War is about right/wrong, good/evil
Expect solidarity from other countries b/c we've shared their times of peril (?)
Democrats should not doubt our sincerity
America as the world's only superpower
Our fight wasn't against [missed this] but against war and a greater threat.
We're safer now than we were on 9/11 but we're still not safe.
We're still closer to the beginning than to the end of this fight.
The 'pResident' is the first to observe that most of the sacrifices [of war] are suffered by our [soldiers].
Our soldiers fight to prove that love is greater than hate (oh, I'm biting my tongue on this one)
We are Americans first, Americans last, and Americans always.
Our adversaries are weaker than us in causes. They fight to express a hatred of all that is good in humanity. We fight for good, freedom, etc...

Guiliani:

I missed the vast majority of his speech because I was on the phone with jneal discussing him and McCain. Watching his speech was both sad and encouraging. Sad because he was making all these sorry, lame jokes and encouraging because he took a great deal of time to take cheap shots at Kerry's voting record.

"Why is that encouraging?" you may ask... Well, taking cheap shots at the opponent during such an important event seems (to me) to indicate just how threatened the Reps are feeling. If you don't see your opponent as a serious threat, you don't pay that much attention to them. Especially not at your party's big, important, morale-raising convention. Taking potshots at Kerry's voting record seems to me to be an error in judgement but we'll see.

Here's the only line of Guiliani's I could remember:

pResident Bush can see into the future and he has a vision of a safer world

I told a small lie

Okay - I may have told a teensy little lie when I said I was (or would) making a deliberate attempt to stay away from the RNC coverage. It wasn't my fault, though, it was Mother Jones! I was just perusing the email update and ran across this short article about the people on the street NYC.

I'm not going to rant about Bush supporters being wrong, what I am flabbergasted by is how totally opposite their views appear to be. I mean, it makes me wonder if we're living in the same country. In the article I mentioned, one of the Rep activists interviewed talks about 'liberal media' and about the hatred demonstrated by liberals - how their words give aid and comfort to the enemy. This one activist also mentions several different 'groups' (communists, homosexuals, feminazis, etc) that he thinks are there and then says they're probably all unemployable.

This is what I don't get. I get that there are multiple aspects of truth with regard to any issue. I get that everyone has their own opinion and the right to express it. I get that their viewpoint is different than mine. What I don't get is how we come up with such absolutely opposing notions about the same events/issues.

Each side says the other spews hatred and lies. Each side says the media is on the side of the other. Each side claims that the other is against life/America/puppies & kittens/etc. Where the hell is the truth and/or middle ground? I don't know if they don't exist or if the media doesn't talk to them because they're not incendiary enough. Maybe we should coin a new label for the media - something that screams out how their just out for themselves and fuck trying to facilitate any sort of reasonable and productive discussion in this country. How does 'grabocrats' sound? Or, maybe, 'destructovists'?

I just don't get it. Has it always been like this and I just never noticed?

Deliberate attempt

For the record, I'm deliberately staying away from the RNC. I took about two minutes yesterday to look at the scheduled speakers and see if there are going to be bloggers. The speaker lineup was surprisingly thin and yes, there are going to be bloggers. I *may* watch Guiliani and McCain tonight but I'm not sure. I know they're the only two I'm even remotely interested in.

The main reason I'm staying away is that I don't want to add to all the enormous amounts of negative energy already present. It's so strong and so pervasive that I don't think I could stay positive even if I wanted to. I'm very concerned that slanted media coverage could seriously hurt Kerry's campaign - even if the protesters are doing nothing illegal or violent.

Protest coverage at the DNC was pretty much nil. If the coverage protest here is extensive and includes lots of fringe elements, I'm afraid that those fringes will be portrayed as representative of the Dems and that the Reps will come off looking like angels i.e. they were courteous and polite protestors while the Dems were absolute lunatics who can't be trusted to protest, let alone run the country.

Don't laugh and call me paranoid - it's something that could happen. It's all about how the media covers/presents the story and we all know who's been beating their drum for the past four years.

So I'm covering my eyes and eating cookies until it's over.

Checking in

I've been in the land of Buffymania for the last few days, watching seasons 6 and 7 back to back. My god, I actually had to take a Buffy break yesterday! As part of my Buffy break, I was trolling through the archives of this little ole' blog and realized that some of the stuff I wrote in March of this year is pretty good! I like what I wrote about truth and lies and I still like the vent post I wrote about the (then) 'newly' discovered truth about the LACK of WMD.

By the way, I took the Country quiz at blue pyramid and I'm Canada!

You're Canada!

People make fun of you a lot, but they're stupid because you've got a much better life than they do.  In fact, they're probably just jealous. You believe in crazy things like human rights and health care and not dying in the streets, and you end up securing these rights for yourself and others. If it weren't for your weird affection for ice hockey, you'd be the perfect person.

Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

tidbittles

This is one of those ideas that is *really* hard for a lot of people to accept. When an oppressed group mocks the oppressor, even though it may not be appropriate or polite, it NEVER carries the same amount of weight as when the oppressor mocks the oppressed.

It's hard for me to understand why it should be such a priority to determine how to interrogate people 'humanely' (what an oxymoron) and not a priority to focus that energy on finding ways to live that don't require that we interrogate people. Why keep focusing our attention on updating the rules of war instead of working out ways to live in peace??

Sound familiar anyone? If it doesn't, get our your frickin history books and start getting familiar!

I get her point, but I didn't think of the movie Super Size Me as a serious commentary on the nature and experience of obesity in America. Having had the experience of being 'big' (or bigger than most people I knew), I realize that size discrimination is extremely prevalent in American society. However, I just didn't expect that much from this particular film.

That's so GAY :)

An interesting point about both parties responses to the Swift Boat melodrama.

This post has no relevance other than the fact that it supports people following their dreams.

Speaking of dreams - here's a great website with lots of links to all things Buffy and Angel!

Chunky hunks o' not-so-goodness

So I've got this great picture of me and croed last december at a horse show in Charlotte and I'm just disgusted with myself. In all honesty, I've only put on a few pounds but I feel like I've gained a ton! Of course, I also have a fairly recent picture (taken by my mom a few weeks ago) that is *distinctly* unflattering. The comparison is pretty frickin depressing. In fact, I love almost all the pictures of myself from this past winter and don't even like to look at the ones from this past spring & summer.

So why is that? I mean, I wasn't all THAT skinny in the winter pics, why the bug-o-rama? Maybe because that was the first time (ever) in my life that I liked the way I looked and it just depresses me because I'm just not feeling that love anymore. I think, also, that it's taking a while for my external being to change to match whatever I've changed internally. It feels like I've made shifts in how I think about myself (on the most fundamental level) but I'm still uncertain how that kind of change will manifest itself.

Online dating and silliness in general

I have to admit - I love online dating! It's fun, cheap, and you have a *much* bigger selection to choose from. However, I have to also say that I find some of the stuff people say highly amusing and sometimes just plain mystifying. I mean really - do you think someone's going to actually self-admit to being either codependent, a drama queen, into head games, or emotionally dysfunctional? Here are some of the more entertaining phrases I've come across:

• "curious to finding out more about what women are Really looking for, Beyond pretentious superficial and the closely guarded truth/reality"
• "If you are pretty, NOT overweight "
• "i'm not weird, psycho, or cootie-strikken"
• "I'm not looking to meet someone who doesn't know how to enjoy life or not sure on what she wants in life"
• "44 year recovering from flamed out relationship"
• "I like to work in the garage on my Jeep project"
• "I’m NOT an alpha male - and find that breed to be pitifully insecure"
• "that was recently very hurt from a LONG term relationship"
• "Looking for a real woman"
• "no lies drunks or tweekers "
• "I,m looking for one good one thought I had one but she could not even be honest with herself but still care and love her allthough will never see or talk to her again"

================================
Here's a list of requirements that I found on someone's personal ad:

"Now here's what i'm looking for in you:
1. Please be exceptionally cute as well as in shape (a couple extra pounds is fine, but by that I don't mean 20+ )
2. Please be smart (an opinion of your own to me is worth more than any book can offer, even if books can help formulate opinions)
3. Please be happy (I like positive energy and don't feel like I should be entirely responsible for your happiness)
4. Please be monogamous (respect for the other person is essential)
5. Please be active (bonus if you can ride a bike) "
=================================
I only included the first few reqs - there were about ten total - and I was duly impressed with the length and depth of his requirements. I feel a bit sorry for any woman who tries to form a relationship with this person, however, because there's no way they can ever get all the boxes checked.

Not the answer

I've been saying this for many months - the latest, fanciest technology is NOT the answer that developing countries are looking for! That doesn't mean technology isn't helpful, useful, or necessary, it simply means that bridging the digital divide at the expense of food, shelter, and clean water is ludicrous.

In deciding which technologies are appropriate for developing countries and the poor in developed countries, it looks like the struggle is, once again, not over how to best help people, but between what is best for them and what will most profit global corporations.

A quickie

It's pretty early and I'm getting ready for my last trip to the YWCA summer camp on the coast. It finally started raining yesterday evening and it's gray and overcast. For all my whimpering and whining about the heat, I have to admit that I also enjoy getting up to a sun-kissed, albeit cool, morning. What I'm trying to say is that I'm seriously struggling to get my ass in gear. Of course, it doesn't help that I stayed up kinda late watching women's platform diving.

I suppose I'm going to have to get accustomed to this sort of gray, rainy, sleep-inducing morning - from what I hear, that's gonna be the standard for about 6 months or so. I think that's why everyone out here has been so happy about the hot, dry weather - they've had so many of these 'sleep in' mornings that they probably don't need any sleep for another twenty years or so!

On a completely different topic - I finally found a barn and a trainer. Yep, after 3 months or so of not riding and 6 months without a coach, I found someone I think is going to be really good. I also decided to start volunteering at Free Geek and am going to go through their Build program. So far, it's darn tootin' fun - cool people and enough technology gurus/gadgets/conversation to satisfy ANYONE'S inner geek! Added bonus - they're an OSS shop so not only do I get to learn about open source, I get to support the entire open source community - including information and media :)

Anything but more dumb schtick

Thanks to steev for referring to this article. I've said since Day 1 that although I'll vote for Kerry, it's a *big* mistake to think that he's going to be, in practice, that much better than Bush. The "Anybody But Bush" attitude will hopefully get us some different leadership but it certainly doesn't mean that all will be right with the world again on Jan 21, 2005.

It means we'll have to not only keep working to promote the progressive agenda, but that we'll probably have to work extra special hard to keep people from lapsing back into apathy thinking that the problem's been fixed.

The Color of Fear

I watched a portion of The Color of Fear during my Adult Education class this summer and it was one of the most powerful things I've ever seen. Through the inter-library loan program at PSU (Summit), I was able to check out the video and am now watching the entire documentary. This first portion is every bit as powerful as I remember and it's hard to keep from weeping as I watch it.

The film documents conversation in a focus group formed of men from a variety of ethnic and racial backgrounds - Asian, Latina, Black, and White. These men don't identify themselves specifically by those words but I'm using them for the sake of explanation. There are two white men in the group, one who admits his racism, one who just wonders why we can't all get along - wonders why all those 'other' people create problems for themselves.

Listening to him is infuriating and enraging and eye-opening. Eye-opening simply because, in my experience, there are SO MANY white people who think and feel the same way. It's infuriating and enraging to watch and listen to him sitting in the group - disseminating information with such an air of superiority and self-righteousness.

It's extremely difficult to withold judgement and realize that he's not intentionally trying to be cruel and unfeeling but that he simply has no idea - at all - about what it means to be a white person. Peggy McIntosh wrote an article, Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack of White Privilege, that should be absolutely required reading for every person in every school in America. I would suggest that the article also be read in every Euro-White nation but I'm not sure if it's too culturally relevant to America to apply elsewhere.

With people like this, it's difficult to have compassion and realize that they are speaking from a place of ignorance and fear. Many people are often unwilling to transform because transformation can be terrifying and can force us to look at aspects of ourselves that we feel we can't bear to see. I cannot even begin to imagine what it was like to be in that group of men and face those issues in such a direct and honest fashion. I have such admiration and respect for the courage of those men and other men and women who are willing to facilitate such conversations.

tidbittles

The alternative Nobel Prize awards. I think I'd rather win one of these. I happened across these while researching Vandana Shiva and am wondering why on earth I haven't heard about these before.

You know, I just don't fucking get it. I've tried really hard not to move to the "Dems v Rep" mentality because I think it's damaging to our country as a whole. I've tried really hard to hold the idea that Republicans aren't all bad/idiotic/etc. But sheer fucking stupidity like this just makes me nuts.

Yoo-hooooo - there's still a war going on!

I have to admit that I think it's a bit surreal also.

Why does this story bother me? I guess I don't like the idea that the military has that much say in federal funding to colleges. There are some good points on both sides, however, so I guess it' just my anti-military bias peeping out.

I'm almost positive that I ranted and raved about the electoral college problem way back when but don't think I was blogging then. I remember almost bursting blood vessels because everyone just seemed to overlook that teensy little issue.

I have to say that I certainly wouldn't give the current incompetents in office credit for leaking vital info as part of a diabolically clever, high-level manuever. The simpler of the two explanations is that they're just idiots.

What is chilling about this ongoing effort to supress votes is that I feel quite certain that Florida's not the only place it's happening. I wonder who else is being threatened that we're not hearing about?

I think it's great that more effort is being made to bring technology to impoverished neighborhoods, but I have to wonder whether it's really should be the top priority?

Media literacy and choice - our world is opening up.

A cool interview with Dan Gillmore in which he talks about grassroots media and citizen journalists. His new book is We the Media: Grassroots Journalism by the People, for the People

A fascinating interpretation of the movie The Village.

More mea culpa

Creaks and crackles

You know, for some reason, it just never occured to me that I actually have to take care of my body ON AN ONGOING BASIS in order for it to stay healthy. I figured I could exercise, get it going, and then turn it loose and not worry anymore. Guess what? That doesn't work!!

Yes - I realize that you may be scratching your head and wondering what world I've been in for the last 36 years, but I've been here - fumbling along and wondering why my physical body kept demanding all sorts of attention. Well, I get the whole eat/breathe/sleep/natural functions thing, but for some reason, I didn't understand that I need to exercise regularly and eat healthy foods regularly in order to keep it in optimum condition.

Not that I have any experience with optimum condition, mind you. I'm just now getting to fair and reasonable condition. I'm not sure if I'll make it to optimum condition but I am, for the first time, enjoying inhabiting my body. yay body!

Travel antics

I don't travel that much at this point in my life. I figure I did most of my moving around when I was a kid and then, later, when I was with my ex. I moved every 2 to 3 years except for the few years after my ex and I bought our second house. My travel recently has been literally between NC and OR but nothing more exotic than that. So I am somewhat surprised that I actually have some rather funny (if lame) travel stories from this most recent trip.

So the lameness begins with me taking the train to Seattle and ending up hanging in Sea-Tac for about four hours. The waiting wasn't the lame part, however, the lame part is that I was actually 24 hours late for my flight. Yep - you read that right, 24 hours late. I was supposed to fly out on Wed, Aug 4 at 12 a.m. Yes, you guessed it, I actually showed up on Thur, Aug 5 at 12 a.m. Luckily, the ATA attendant told me this happens all the time so she put me on standby and I got on the flight.

Well, as payback for me missing my flight, the airline tagged me for a secondary security check. I was frisked with a metal-detecto wand, arms out and legs spread wide. I realize that sounds incredibly, unbelieveably sexy but it wasn't. Trust me on that.

The lameness doesn't end there as I was sitting in the middle seat next to a very nice man who snored the entire flight (it was a redeye) and an anti-social blanket freak who had an airplane blankie snugged up under his chin before the plane even moved away from the loading area.

On the way back, things were much smoother although, you guessed it, I was again flagged for a secondary security check. Am I being profiled? Has my biological heritage drawn that much attention? Does the ATA security team read this blog and think I'm terrorist material?

No idea, but hopefully no one will come at me waving any metal implements anytime soon.

Child soldiers

As a tagline to my previous post about gangs and violence, I remembered hearing about child soldiers. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, realize that many, many countries throughout the world 'recruit' children as young as eight as cannon fodder (a.k.a. 'soldiers). If you remember, this was done in Vietnam and it's definitely being done in gangs in the US.

This is a hard concept to grasp - that people would deliberately put their children, the future of their country, in a situation that may mean maiming or death. The concept of child soldiering is wrong on so many levels that I don't feel I could even begin to write about them. Human Rights Watch, however, has some information on child soldiering - as part of their Childrens Rights campaign.

Additional resources:

Amnesty International
BBC's Children of Conflict
Childsoldiers.org
The United Nations

Gangs and violence

Just before I left for my trip, I had gotten the urge to do some research on gangs and gang violence. This was prompted by a show I saw on CSPAN-2's book readings. I saw Tom Hayden speaking about his book Street wars: gangs and the future of violence. I've always been fascinated by gangs, even though gang life (thankfully) has not been part of my experience.

I went to the library and looked up information on gangs. I've gotten three videos and several books. The video I'm watching now is Beyond Hate with Bill Moyers. This particular video is not looking at gangs specifically but, more generally, at the nature of hate. I'm watching a segment on white supremacy and am again astounded by the way some whites find ways to justify their violence against people of color. I've been fascinated for a while by white supremacy and hate groups and wrote a short paper on hatecore music when I was an undergrad.

I find it extremely interesting that I moved from the southeast (one of the centers of racism in the US) to Portland, OR, a place where racism is also (apparently) a promiment issue. What's interesting is that racism here (in Portland)isn't as ingrained and subtle as it is in NC. What I mean by that is that it isn't as obvious a part of my daily life as it was in NC.

Once you start looking at gang violence, it quickly becomes apparent that the conditions required to support that environment are much, much deeper than many people are willing to look. The variety of issues that feed into the formation of gangs are so intricate, complex, and fundamental that it's impossible to separate them from each other.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm so drawn to studying gangs, violence, and white supremacy, but it's possible that I'm searching for ways to understand why people are so quick to hurt each other. It's the flip side of the coin for me - the other end of the spectrum from peace education maybe. Sun Tsu said "know thy enemy" so perhaps this is my search to learn my enemy.

Some photos from my trip

Victoria & birthday playmate	Mom and Victoria
Chris - trying to hide

Commentary on recent reads

On my way back to Portland, I had a *great* deal of time to read so I finished the following books: The Five People You Meet in Heaven, The Legacy of Luna, The Journey Home, and I started The Four Agreements. Holy god - that's the most non-academic stuff I've read in six months! The ones I finished were great and I held off on the 4 Agreements because it felt like something I needed to focus on more closely. Here are some comments on the other three.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven: A lovely story that reemphasized, for me, how connected we all are - in unknown and unexpected ways. As my loyal reader may know, I have long been a fan of sci-fi/fantasy literature. In that genre, there is much writing about alternate universes and contemplation about how those universes are created. I've lived much of my life thinking about things that happen as a result of choices I make - big choices and little choices. Encounters - important, unimportant, or unnoticed and events that I participate in.

I've always loved the analogy of life as a tapestry. Orson Scott Card used it in the Alvin the Maker series and Piers Anthony also used it in With a Tangled Skein. I'm sure there are lots of others but those two spring to mind. What is important is that our thread touches every other thread in some way - either directly or indirectly. We have no way of knowing what impact we have on people - even casual encounters or people we don't even interact with.

That thought can be scary, but I like to think of it as endless opportunities to experience myself as a loving and compassionate being. Sure, not all my interactions are great or positive, but many of them are and you never know how just one smile or one 'thank you' can help someone transform themselves.

The Legacy of Luna: A beautiful story that reminded me of one extremely important thing - pray for (or hold in light) those who are opposing what you're trying to do. They are often terrified and full of fear and that's why they fight so hard. Angry activism doesn't serve anyone, it only brings more fear, hatred, anger, and negative energy into the mix. Remembering not to take their actions personally, holding to what you know is truth, and keeping a love-based perspective - those are what is important.

Whether or not those opposing us ever see our point of view or agree that we're right isn't the point. Taking their power away and 'winning' the fight isn't the point either, although we usually make it the point. "So what is the point?" you ask. I'm going back to Gandhi now - The point is that there is always truth on both sides and our responsibility is to look at all the aspects and how we can bring them together. One piece of truth is no more right, wrong, or important than another - it is our perspective that places those judgements.

The Journey Home: This book was intense for me, Michael's journey resonated deeply with my own spiritual seeking and path. I'm not going to comment much at this time because I feel I need to read the book again, more thoroughly and taking more time. Suffice to say, I often find it difficult to recognize my own divinity.

tidbittles

Amy Goodman rules! Check out DemocracyNow.

Other people are wondering how Americans let themselves be so duped by the current administration.

Racism - an honest admission.

Buffy's whiny, but she's added so much to the english language. For our linguaphiles, even more interesting terms.

Ahh, the culture of weed in America...

yee-haw

I'm back in Portland and enjoying this fabulous 90 degree weather. ugh. It was hot in NC but at least I had air conditioning. In the interests of honesty, however, I should say that I hate air conditioning and I'm happier being a little toasty here without it. I do have a great deal of stuff to blog about but it'll happen over the next few days.

Actually, it may be longer because jneal lent me Angel Season 4 and I'm addicted! I'm on the episode where they're all reverted to their teen years - it's hilarious! I'm also ashamed to admit that I could have gone to either the John Kerry rally or to protest Bush's presence but I just did not have the energy. The Kerry rally is supposedly around 30,000 people and I'm so wiped from my trip that I couldn't even handle it.

Catching up

Well, I'm blogging from my brother's house in NC and I'm having a good time. I'm on a dialup connection (for the first time in years!) so this is going to be fairly short & sweet. The trip here was funny - I'll write more later - but I'm here and really enjoying see all my friends and family. Croed's house is fabulous, as is parch's. My only problem is deciding where I'm going to stay. I also got to spend some time with mtom and will be hanging with croed, parch, dmclell, and jneal tomorrow (Sunday).

Many thanks and much love also to my mother for taking care of the rental car and for giving me a little extra cash for gas. Love to all my peeps - I miss all of you and being here just makes me realize how much I love and need you all.

Reconsideration?

I've always held that our response to 9/11, ferociously bombing the already devastated Afghanistan, was wrong. After reading Daniel Byman's article, however, I am forced to reconsider my position. He states that one of the biggest blows to the al-Qaida network was the destruction of their supportive base in Afghanistan - including the removal of the Taliban.

So. Now I'm having to take another look at my beliefs about Bush's response & the invasion of Afghanistan. Maybe he was right - maybe we did need to go in there and bomb the crap out of civilians. Or maybe, the idea of removing the Taliban was right but the way it was handled was, not surprisingly, bungled (thus costing thousands of civilian lives).

I don't know, as I don't know the particulars about the battles and strategies and what finally worked. I know that the Taliban (supportive of al-Qaida) is now out but that the country itself has now basically collapsed and is in a state of total chaos (which might be a good breeding ground for more terrorists). Are the Northern Warlords any better than the Taliban? Maybe in the 'we don't support terrorism' scale but certainly not on the 'we can run a country' or 'we honor women' scales.

In all honesty, invading the country may have been the right decision. I just cannot bring myself to agree that bombing innocent civilians and pulverizing already pulverized cities was a good thing to do. If all we had done was send in black ops troops to take out the terrorist support network and run covert operations against the perpetrators, I might be able to get on board with that - I don't know.

What I do know is that we invaded, bombed, destroyed, and have now left the remaining citizens to clean up our mess. I have never disagreed that removing Saddam was a bad thing (even though I don't agree that stepping into another country's politics is appropriate) and I would not disagree that removing al-Qaida's comfortable base and group of supporters is bad either. My hope is that both removals will have long term, positive effects for the citizens of both countries.

However, I also cannot take either of those acts out of context. The removal of the Taliban was done at great cost to civilians who were already struggling in the aftermath of ten years of civil war. The removal of Saddam was done at enormous (and ongoing) cost in lives, materials, and international goodwill towards the US. In both cases, I feel it is necessary to look at whether the ends justify the means. In the short term, it appears so. My great concern is whether we will feel the same in the long term.

Is it a big deal or is it just me?

I'm sitting here watching *really* old reruns of the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire and noticing how extremely white most of the family members are. It made me think about the standard that was used (and may still be used) to determine whether or not a black person could be on TV - a paperbag. If you are the same shade as a paperbag or lighter, you may be considered. I'm sure this wasn't an across the board measure and I'm also aware it may simply be an urban myth. However, lots of the blacks I've seen on TV (especially shows from the 80s and 90s) seem to meet that standard.

I've also seen shows about Britney and Christina - two young women who, in their own ways, make strong statements about female sexuality and raise questions about what our society considers acceptable/unacceptable public behavior for women. Although I do believe that they encourage a variety of negative female stereotypes, I appreciate their willingness to challenge societal norms. Obviously, I have no idea if they're going to do anything more than buck the dress code, but it's a start.

What these kinds of shows bring to light for me is all the social issues I've become aware of. It's weird - even if I want to enjoy some brainfluff piece of media, I can't. I can't un-know what I know to be true. If people were equal, would it be so funny to see women cut each other down? If people were equal, would it be entertainment to watch young black men shoot each other? Would it still be reassuring to have a (usually white) male come running in to save everyone - including the heretofore capable female - from disaster and punish the bad guys?

Does it even matter that I think these things are reinforcing damaging sterotypes? Does anyone care about this stuff but me and a few other looney tunes on the fringes? Should we be considered looney tunes because we care? I don't fucking know. I know that women were considered militant, anti-male, and 'not feminine' simply because they wanted to be themselves and not be the stereotypical 1950s housewife. I know that blacks were harrassed, hurt, and killed simply because they wanted the right to vote and to enter the front doors of business establishments.

Is it because people are tired of hearing about it - tired of hearing about discrimination and oppression? Maybe they think their lives are absolutely fine, that they aren't discriminated against and that society, as a whole, is in a great place. Who am I to challenge their beliefs about their lives? If people don't want to be helped - if they don't see something as a problem, is it really my responsibility to make it a problem? I have no fucking idea.

Maybe all this stuff is just residue from the courses I've taken and books I've read. Un-educate me - someone help me get un-educated. Maybe, if I'd just listened to the advice of those 1950s women's mags, I wouldn't be in this quandary now. Maybe, if I had stayed home and had babies, my life would be too full of childcare and husbandcare to the have time, or desire, to think about whether or not my personal needs were met. Would it be helpful for me to stop paying attention, start wearing cute clothes/makeup, and try to attract a rich guy? Would that ease my moral dilemma? I don't fucking know.

Getting my fix

I just got a tip about a file sharing program called Limewire. I had pretty much stopped using Kazaa because I couldn't abide the adware it installs. I'd install it, download what I wanted and then uninstall & run spyware, etc. What a pain. We'll see if Limewire forces me to jump through the same hoops...

The interface is pretty durn cool and I really like the way the search filters let you organize the search results. Thanks lifepartdeux.

politibittles

Excellent commentary about why the Democrats should hold off on the "we're baaaaack" celebrations. The same thing that is destroying Bush's remaining hopes for Iraq could just as quickly annihilate the Democratic presence in the White House.

An interesting discussion of Kerry's speech.

Andrew Sullivan also makes good points, along with expressing some concerns similar to mine.

Some good points about Kerry's stance on gay marriage.

The composite candidate (LOL)

tidbittles

I don't even know how to respond to arguments like this.

We didn't need that stinky ole ABM treaty anyway.

Does anyone actually believe that we're done in Iraq?

ha ha ha - SWEET!

Even conservatives are beginning to realize how extensive the Fox-induced damage is.

The left's long overdue attempts combat right-wing rhetoric are not too shabby.

As a neophyte in the realm of world politics, I'm curious as to how much Russian oil we buy. Good thing they're still to big for us to even attempt to push around...

Decompressing

Update (080204): I still think I'm onto something with the energetic decompression idea but I found out (from a trusted source) that I haven't been vibrating at 4 or 6 during school but have been hanging out in 2. That's fine, but I thought I'd mention it as I had previously commented differently. Probably the good feeling of health and well-being I was feeling was due to re-experiencing a higher vibration after several weeks of 2nd chakra only.

In case you're interested, yes - it was a bit disheartening to find out I've been vibrating so low when I 'thought' I was holding my energy higher. Bummer, but not a big one. I don't know that it's even possible to consistently hold your vibration higher in a information-heavy learning environment. I've asked one of my teachers and will post here when I find out.
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I woke up this morning feeling wonderful - better than I've felt in a couple of months. It didn't take much time to make the connection between the end of school and my feeling of well-being. During this short time, the word decompression came to mind. Here's what Meriam-Webster has to say about decompression:

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transitive senses: to release from pressure or compression
intransitive senses : to undergo release from pressure; especially : RELAX
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I find it interesting that the intransitive sense is noted as especially relating to the idea of relaxation, connoting a living being. I began thinking about what happens on the energetic plane and thought I'd describe what I see as happening:

When we are in situations that require us to focus a great deal of energy mentally (as in school), I find that I contract my energy into myself and focus it fairly specifically. Although my vibration may remain high (around the 4th or 6th), it isn't expanded. Once I'm out of those situations, I literally need time to release all that focused energy and expand back out into larger space. I don't know if energy is 'heavy' but I know that I feel much lighter when my energy is expanded - more able to move and breathe freely.

It reminded me of a piece of bread that you can either leave as a piece of bread or squish into a tiny little bread-ball. They're both bread, but you can do more with the piece of bread than you can with the bread-ball. The only difference in the two is the amount of space between the bread particles but the difference in how we use and relate to them is vastly different.

I realize that analogy breaks down extremely quickly and is pretty darn silly, but it is a fun and interesting visual. The point being - I think my next opportunity with regard to school is going to involve keeping my vibration up and my energy expanded while I'm focusing my energy towards gathering information. It may also be more helpful to stay expanded, even though it may feel uncomfortable at first. If my energy is expanded and my vibration is high, then I can tap into the vast resevior of knowledge available at the 6th chakra level instead of relying solely on my 2nd level brainwork.