funny bits

Here's something from the current Dilbert newsletter. I copied it directly from the email:
====================================================
BEETSVILLE, OH – After a tragic communication mixup, Flossie Mongo devoured her husband of 30 years, Lester. "I asked my doctor if I should get on that Atkins diet and lose weight by eating meat. He just got all serious-like and said -- and I'm quoting now -- ‘Just eat Les.' At least that's what I thought he said. Now he claims there was a silent s on the end of Les." Mrs. Mongo explained that her husband had been riding her hard to follow whatever orders the doctor gave her for losing weight. "He was a real hard ass. I mean literally, I could hardly chew threw it." After a net gain of nearly 150 pounds in one day, Mrs. Mongo admits her other big mistake: "I should have spaced it out. That was way too much for one meal. But I worked up quite an appetite with all the stabbing and sawing. You have no idea." She adds, wistfully, "I'll miss him, but quiet is good too."
====================================================

so it's finally showing up

I just got mail from moveon.org today about this issue. I blogged about this over a month ago, where the heck have THEY been? I'm expressing surprise because this seemed like a pretty important issue to me & I didn't see *any* media or activist coverage except for the bit that Media Reform covered.

doh!

My quest to legalize my vehicles here in Portland continues! I finally got tags for my car (thank WHOEVER) and decided to go do the same for my bike today. Well, my NC plates are long expired so I pulled that plate off the bike. So I'm riding around without a tag at all but I'm thinking "no biggie, I'm going to the DMV to get tags so it'll all be okay."

That line of reasoning would have worked except hey presto! The DMV's closed today - I guess it's a holiday, maybe Booger Day or something. Well, it's about 75 degrees here & bright sunshiney goodness is everywhere. Needless to say, I could not make myself turn around and go home. So I rode around for about an hour before seeing a copper. Upon spotting said copster, I promptly turned off the main road and made my way back home. So nothing bad happened & I got a nice little ride in the happy day vibes! :)

new geekiness

I just found out about Atom and it looks pretty cool. Don't be fooled, I certainly won't be assisting in development but I'll be keeping my eyes open for ways to promote & use personal content publishing on the web!

tidbittles

I almost wet my undies reading this!!! Joseph Vecchio wrote that article and this editorial...

The ship continues to sink... IMO - I think BushCo doesn't CARE what the real terrorist problem is. All they appear to care about is enriching themselves & their buddies.

Who would have thought that the whole ethical problem with Bushco could be solved by us realizing that they're high class expensive call girls, not cheap, street corner hookers?

silly quizzes!

Courtesy of DG, here's my inner fasion designer:



You are Donna Karan.... you are a serene peaceful
person, who loves to meditate, do yoga, and
hang out celebrities


What Fashion Designer are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

amazing book

I just started reading this incredible book - Praying Peace by James Twyman. I discovered his website via Francene Hart's site (incredible, divinely inspired creative being!) We're using one of her pieces on the promo materials for the War, Peace and Media conference in July. Here's the piece:



Stunning, isn't it?

Okay, so this book pretty much lays out most of what I'd developed as my personal approach toward spiritual peace making. Do I even need to continue my personal pursuit of the subject? Perhaps I can just read what these people wrote and that'll be enough. LOL That's my ego, sulking in the corner. She *really* wanted to be a big ole pioneer in the field and finding out that (gasp) other people are already making inroads into our chosen field of study is something of a letdown for her! She's silly and she'll get over it...

The book is phenomenal. I don't think I can say much more about it than that. After watching the movie "What the Bleep Do We Know?" and reading this book, I don't need much more confirmation that I'm heading in the right direction. The universe has all but put physical pavers down for me to step on!

speaking of truth

Why does it bother us so much when we think people don't believe what we're saying? I find this an interesting question because *everyone* I know gets at least a little irritated when they think someone is calling them a liar. If you KNOW that what you're saying is true, why should it matter so much what someone else says about it? That's the catch though, isn't it? How often are we that certain of what we're saying? How often do we feel in our heart and soul that we're speaking truthfully? Not often, I think.

That's why it bugs us so much, to the point of wars, killing, violence, mayhem, and other horrid things. Because, on some low, fundamental, possibly unconscious level, we don't 100% believe in what we're doing or saying. And when someone else questions it out loud, it brings up all those niggling, fermenting little doubts we were already having. But it's easier to blame the other person - that bastard who dared question our decision. Thus the madness and mayhem - all because we doubt ourselves but aren't willing to admit it.

What's so bad about admitting that we have some questions about our decisions? Is it because we're not willing to accept that another version of reality might be more appropriate than what we've got in mind? Maybe what we've decided isn't as good as what someone else decided. (see where this is going?) I think the anger and resentment we direct toward others is a reflection of the angry judgements we pass on ourselves. Ask almost anyone and they'll tell you "I'm MUCH harder on myself than anyone else ever could be." At least, we type A's are (recovering type A here...).

And the self talk that ensues after every decision is heart-rending and incapacitating. The judgement and blame all go squarely on ourselves. Sometimes we openly acknowledge this but, more often than not, it's deeply buried - the voice in our head is so present, all the time that we don't consciously hear it anymore. But it talks on. And what it says is often unbearable. It's easier to direct all those negative feelings about ourselves onto something external. Because if we really listened to what the voice was saying, if we thought about all it implies, we wouldn't be able to live. The implications of that voice's ongoing monologue are enormous and crushing. Are we truly that incapable of doing anything worthwhile or good? If we can't do anything worthwhile or good, what does that say about the person that we are? Surely, if we were good and worthwhile people we could do good and worthwhile things?

So we must be worthless, vile and despicable, incapable of any decent and worthy act. Such sadness, such unworthiness, and such guilt. And it's easier to externalize those feelings than to truly look at them. Truly feel the pain - to acknowledge that we could feel such terrible things about our beautiful, loving selves.

So this could go on and on but I'll end it here: Why is it so upsetting when someone calls you a liar? Truth is truth, no matter whether someone else chooses to believe or not. Perhaps the anger is a result not of their name calling, but of our own inability to trust and believe our own truths.

tidbittles

So Congress doesn't believe that we should be responsible for the food we shovel down our gullets? One wonders who will be eating McFood forever for nixing this bill...

Does this mean that government jobs *can't* be outsourced? On the surface, that sounds good but I have to admit that I'm wondering what the hidden costs are.

In Bush's defense, he's certainly not the only one who's ever allowed this...

Uselessness in action - again

So, Congress cravenly handed over war powers to Bushco and has just passed a commendation resolution. There's something wrong here - could it be that NO ONE is safer because of the invasion & that Congress is trying (like a cat on linoleum) to cover its shitpile?

Big venting going on

I've been a bit out of touch lately - haven't been reading newspapers or magazines, listening to the radio, watching the news, or reading news sites so when I (finally) heard about Richard clerk's whistleblowing it was old news. Well, old to CBS maybe but just a rehash of what I've been saying ever since the word Iraq appeared shortly after we invaded Afghanistan.

Those of you who read this blog and those of you who actually know me know that I've been absolutely befuddled for the last year and a half or so wondering what the hell had happened to our country. Why, even in light of all these 'new' revelations and whistleblowing incidents, do so many Americans still appear to support BushCo? Why are people not fucking FURIOUS at what's been allowed to happen? I know I am or, rather, was. I'm kind of tired of being angry now so I'm mainly harboring a dull curiosity - wondering how it's all going to shake out.

If someone like me, who knows so little about politics, could discern that there was NO APPARENT CONNECTION between 9/11 and Saddam Hussein and that the WMD claims & all that hoo-haw appeared to be so much bullshit - what happened to the rest of the American people? I'm no genius but it was pretty fucking obvious that there were some high level shenanigans going on. Then again, I have little to no respect for authority in general, even though I follow many of the rules most of the time, so maybe that led me to question more than most people do.

Aside from my tiny tangent there, the point is this: More and more and more evidence is being brought forward demonstrating that not only did Bush KNOW that there were no WMD in Iraq, he & his cronies were planning the invasion long before 9/11 ever happened. That the administration KNEW the information they were giving the public was false and they did it anyway - many many times. More and more people are coming forward (finally, someone's conscience is waking up); more and more documentation is being brought to light. So why isn't the general public (who has screamed loudly about being deceived) more vehement in wanting Bush to accept responsibility for the decisions that he made?

The only explanation that I can come up with is a bit weak but could be true. From what I've heard, people who are the victims of violent crimes often go through a period of denial. They don't want to admit that something so heinous could actually happen to them. They believe that, somehow, they could have prevented it, that maybe it WAS their fault - that they asked for it. Maybe that's what is going on in America now. The people who believed in Bush don't want to realize that they were mistaken. That he lied, tricked, deceived, and otherwise misled them into complicity with his dreadful dreadful decisions. That they actually fell for the misinformation he doled out.

When you talk to individuals, most people seem upset with what's happened but they're not really sure HOW it happened. There aren't many people I've talked to who continue to defend Bush and who still believe he took appropriate action. I strongly feel most people were so swept up in the fear/rage/terror cloud that followed 9/11 (and that BushCo cleverly used to their advantage) that they were willing to accept anything if it made them feel marginally safer. I wonder how safe they feel now?

So here's where my analogy breaks down: In the case of a violent crime, it wasn't the victim's fault. In the case of what's happened in America, it is our fault. It's our fault for allowing such horrific things to be done in the name of our country. It's our fault for being apathetic, slack, lazy, and dull minded. It's our fault for not fucking paying attention before now. What has happened, what has been done in the name of the United States of America is OUR fault - we allowed it. Bush is a direct result of the economic system we've built for ourselves - where the rich get richer, do what they want to assure their continued survival & growth, and the rest of us run along behind.

I personally have difficulty saying that because I spoke out against it and I prayed for it not to happen. However, being part of a democracy, twisted and corrupted though it appears to be, means that you're also responsible if things get fucked up. Can't claim to be 'by the people, for the people' and then say "But only when the results are good." We did this. In this instance, the American people are not the victims. Yes, I realize there are major major problems within our country but speaking to the issue of war, I believe we have to accept our responsibility also.

There's a part of me, a big part, that wants to just lash out in righteous anger at the people who openly/actively supported Bush and his decisions. I want to hurt them and make them feel so stupid. I want to pour out my grief and my hurt onto them - I want to ask them what the FUCK they were thinking? How can it EVER be a good idea to start a war? I don't want to take responsibility for something I never wanted in the first place. I don't want to have to clean up the mess or deal with the results. Is this the price I pay for living in America? If everyone doesn't step up to the plate and do their part, do the people who are responsible always have to pick up after? Probably. That's the same pattern we see repeated in EVERY level of our society. Those who care appear to end up cleaning up after those who don't.

Wow - what a negative, rambly post. If you actually read this far, my apologies for such negative energy but I had to just rant a bit. I still haven't been successful at finding a higher perspective that feels true to me. I can say all kinds of big picture stuff like "this is an opportunity for us to step up to the plate" and "now we can see what we don't want our country to be" but those statements are not my real truth. My real truth is that I'm angry, disgusted, and afraid that America has gone too far.

My weekend

I had an absolutely superb weekend! I went skiing at Mt. Hood on Friday, went to the anti-war rally in downtown Portland Saturday afternoon and then went hiking & to a great play on Sunday. I haven't been skiing in about three years so I was pretty happy there was no major injury! I did fall several times but most of it was just carelessness - especially once I got tired...

The hiking trip was up to Wahkeena Falls, across the top of the mountain and then down the Multnomah Falls trail. I haven't experienced beauty overload before but good GODDESS - it was *s*t*u*n*n*i*n*g*. I'll have some pictures up on my website in the next week or so.

The play I went to see was Most Dangerous Women (more on that later but you can check it out at Aurora Chorus' website.)

Mdal and I are going to see Big Head Todd & the Monsters tonight.

Proud to be home

Stories like this make me proud to call Portland my home.

one last post today

I wrote at length some time ago about 'power words' and just wanted to say that I'm now feeling a little foolish. I've been reading an essay from Exposing Nuclear Phallacies (published 20 yrs ago) that discusses the same thing I was talking about and draws similar, albeit more clearly defined/explained, conclusions. 20 years before me. It's a bit of an ego buster when you think you're on to something and then discover that you're jumping onto a train that's already in motion!

Truly, I'm not too upset. I mean, I made my discoveries on my own without knowing about this other writing :)

some comments on suffering

I've commented before on suffering and martyrdom but just remembered a thought from a couple of days ago: Why does our society seem to place so much more value on things that are achieved via suffering than things that are achieved through joy? You may think I'm out of my mind but I'm not. For example, how often do women use their suffering during labor to accentuate what a fabulous thing they accomplished? It just seems that people who suffer, whether it's obvious suffering or 'merely' a lack of joy in their lives, are looked upon as having really accomplished something.

My point is this: I would much rather involve myself with people, organizations, whatever that don't glorify suffering. I choose to exist in an environment that celebrates the joyful aspects of life rather than elevating suffering to an art form.

btw - check out Francene Hart's artwork - talk about joyful, divinely inspired creation!

Project update

I'm working on a couple of projects, one for Oregon Peace Works and one for my grad department at school. I'm working a website for each of them - only a couple of sections for the Peace Works site but basically the whole schmoo for the deparment site. It's pretty fun stuff - I like it because it's more experience for me & lets me keep my hand in with content & info design. I've called myself a tech writer for quite a while now, it's going to be interesting to see how my tech writing skills fit into this new life.

I'm also working with one of my instructors on our War and Peace in the Media conference for July this year. I have this great feeling that it's going to be an outstanding conference. We're going to work on designing the artwork & initial 'nice' posters, along with the website, over the next week to 10 days. I'm a bit nervous about the poster thing b/c graphic design isn't my bag. I'm hoping someone will come along and a fabulously designed poster will just fall into our laps LOL

School starts in less than two weeks...

by the way - To those of you who read this blog (all two of you), I beg your indulgence for my lack of substantive writing lately. I haven't felt terribly inclined to do much reading or deep thinking (I guess my brain's trying to rest up for what's a'head' lol) so I'm behind on magazines as well as book reading. I've felt much more inclined to just wander around meeting people, viewing beautiful scenery, and listening to good bands. I've spent so much of my life in mental/learning mode that it's refreshing, relaxing, and purely enjoyable to ignore that whole thing for a while. I'm sure I'll be back in full swing not long after classes begin.

hair pulling in earnest!

So I'm trying to get both vehicles registered & stuff here and it's making me insane! Turns out that although I registered my car in NC, neither I nor the lienholder ever got the title! That wouldn't be a big deal (other than the effing paperwork to get a duplicat) except there's a 15 day wait from the day they get my paperwork until they (the NC DMV) mail the duplicate title out. Well, temporary tags in OR last 21 days and you can only get two a year.

When I found out all the extra bullshit I have to do, I had to call jneal & have a major whine! There was definitely no loving energy emanating from me for quite a while :( I'm better now (listening to Alice in Chains 'Unplugged' - rest in peace Layne).

I tried out a new horse last night at one of the barns I've visited here. His name is Solo and he's a dark brown thoroughbred. We had a really good ride - especially so because it was our first ride together. I worked out two days a week so I'm off & riding again! yay :)

Death to Smoochy!

I forget how much I love that movie until I see it!! There's a great line, near the end, when Rainbow Randolph (Robin Williams) has just performed a heroic act:

Policeman: "Are you okay?"
RR: "Well, I'm pretty fucked up in general so it's kind of hard to gauge."

I just LOVE that line!

speaking of sex...

I was in Powell's bookstore last night and, on a whim, picked up a book about lesbian sex. I have no idea what I expected but whatever it was, it wasn't what I got! I only read a few sentences, flipped through a couple of sections but I was pretty much knocked on my ass by some of what I read. Upon reflection, what startled me the most wasn't the explicit subject matter but the incredible difference between that book and books I've read on straight sex.

"What was the difference?" you ask. The difference is that this book didn't concern itself *at all* with stroking the male ego or making sure that the male partner felt comfortable about what was going on. Reading just those few sentences was like pulling a thin veil from my eyes. The couple of things I read were focused on both people having an equally enjoyable experience. By contrast, most of the other books I've read subtly cater to the male. No - I don't have a good example because it was more about the feel, the intent behind the words, than the actual words themselves. The book was so strongly female it was like a smack in the face.

Women have never been considered equal, especially in the sexual arena so I don't know why I was so surprised by my insight. Given the backstory, it makes sense that most books about straight sex are going to be at least slightly slanted in favor of the male. It also brought to mind essays I read on feminist responses to nuclear war and the responses those essays triggered in me. What I've realized is that I find it difficult to imagine that the female viewpoint could ever be considered as important & valuable as the male viewpoint. When I think about my point of view on this or that issue, even I find myself struggling between determining how I feel about the issue (based on my own experiences) and wanting to find rational & logical ways to construct a belief for myself.

Coming from me, that may sound ridiculous, especially to those of you who know me, but I'm totally serious. Even a person like myself, with an unshakeable belief in the strength and value of women has some trouble with the concept of true female equality. I suppose that's why I've never realized the male-directed emphasis in sex books before, because it just seemed normal that the man's enjoyment receive slightly higher priority & attention than the woman's. Or perhaps I did notice it but just accepted it and never questioned why that should be so.

transparency grows less clear

In the software development world, transparency is a word used to describe something that works without the user understanding or even knowing what's going on behind the scenes. This concept is highly desirable when you're building software - the user doesn't need to know how the program talks to the OS and how the OS relays those messages to the machine itself. Lots of people don't even understand that simple chain of command. In this regard, transparency is a good thing - a desirable quality.

What I'm slowly coming to realize is that the connections between politics, big business, and the military have been largely transparent (to the vast majority of us anyway) until the last couple of years. I realize that there are exceptions to this statement both on the sides. There are people outside the connections - activists, journalists, scholars, etc - to whom these connections have been obvious and unmistakable. There are people on the inside of the connections - company employees, common soldiers, etc - who may or may not have any idea what they are part of.

Exceptions aside, this transparency has served no one except those in power. The less the common people know about what's really going on, the more things can be tweaked to serve those in power & keep them in power. All we've seen has been a thin layer of frosting, designed to satisfy us just enough so that we won't look any deeper. Now that I've started to see even the small bit that I've seen, I've found it incredibly discouraging. It almost feels easier to live in ignorance and just believe everything I'm told.

As the transparency becomes less and less transparent, I wonder how people manage to continue fighting and not give up. My admiration for those who have fought for equality and justice all their lives grows daily. Although I get the idea that you do what you can do and it will be enough, the sheer number of injustices is overwhelming. Although it's true that this semi-invisible network isn't responsible for all the inhumane and unjust situations in our society and the world, it has certainly exacerbated the problems.

More recently, however, the media has slowly been trickling out bits and pieces of these connections. Not consistently and not always accurately but enough to alert those of us 'out of the know' that there is something bigger that we should be aware of. To give the media some credit, especially the individual journalists who have made the effort, I realize it's difficult for them because they're part of the network. Although we give them much grief for what they don't do well, I appreciate how difficult it must be working from within to expose something they're part of.

What to do now? Good question and one I don't have a clearly defined answer for. For now, focusing my energy on learning as much as I can about the field I've chosen and continuing my own growth takes precedence. Activism is becoming a larger part of my life but I feel I have much to learn before I can make any decisions about the direction I'm going to choose. This has been a bit of a rambly post - I wrote it mainly to get down the thoughts about transparency and such so I can possibly develop them more later.

thoughts after the show

Both bands were good but not really my style. the venue was awesome and the crowd was pretty interesting but about the whitest crowd I've seen in a long long time...which makes for a pretty tidy segue into my point - Portland isn't, at first glance anyway, *nearly* as racially diverse as Charlotte. Shocking but true. Progressive city, diverse in many ways but racial diversity doesn't seem to be the name of the game. I kept looking around for the non-white (read 'black') people.

Being from the south, I use the word black. People here use African-American. I'm going to stick with black here just for reasons around brevity. I could use non-whites but I'm more specifically talking about black people. I've seen Asians (obviously), some Latinos, and a few Indians but that's about it.

whoppeeee!

I SO love my life! I'm going to see Albino and Taarka tonight at the Fez Ballroom here in town. Albino has members of Spearhead (one of my all time faves) and so does Taarka. I'm SO psyched!

Even better - I'm going to see Big Head Todd and the Monsters on the 22nd! yayayay

Stupidity running rampant...

Okay, I saw this this morning: http://www.oregonconservative.com/PrayerRally.htm

I realize this is a christian thing but what the fuck is up with the list of bad things that result from same-sex marriages? Are these people crazy? Don't they realize that the *VAST* majority of America is male/female marriages and that this stuff is rampant? It just fucking KILLS me that religion-mongers (especially christians) want to blame current, ongoing problems on same sex marriages. These things were problems LONG before men decided to start marrying men, let alone bringing children into their homes.

Stupid fuckers. They need to find some goddamn brains somewhere and get a grip.

Long but worth reading

Salon is breaking a story they're calling the New Pentagon Papers. If I remember correctly, mutterings about this kind of editorial free license with US intelligence have been running around for some time now...

tidbittles

Some more interesting news on the liberal copyright front. Support creativity - send the artists money directly & skip the 'content distributors'! Note: After seeing "What the Bleep Do We Know?" I'd have to disagree with the "bits not the same as atoms" comment.

I'm eager to see what kind of information CPB's America at the Crossroads initiative will produce.

LOL - this is a great story!

I've been hearing about this issue for a year or two now and am curious to see how it's going to turn out. If it isn't decided before the election, would Democratic leadership make it more likely? It looks like the FCC was trying to do the right thing but our freethinking House O' (Big Money) Reps stepped in to squash the plan.

I find these ongoing stories about indecency (prompted by Janet's nipple ring) almost obscene. If our gov't truly wants to fight indecency, they should fucking stop invading other countries and get their goddamn focus back where it belongs - addressing some of our internal problems.

This bothers me. I can't help but think that a paying customer is going to be higher ranked than a non-paying customer. I have so enjoyed the Internet as a forum that is, at its heart, non-commercial and non-profit. If paying customers are given higher ranking, then Yahoo's search has become just another venue for large corporations to dominate - leaving behind one of the most interesting aspects of the Internet - the possibility of finding yourself somewhere you never expected. It's true that that possiblity doesn't disappear, but it is greatly lessened as most people won't take the time to search past the first ten links popped up in a search.

This issue came up recently but hasn't gotten much media coverage (big surprise).

As stated in the body of this article: ..."The law of unintended consequences in this case has the potential to be huge,"... The implications if this legislation is enacted are almost mindboggling. It has the potential to severly damage one of the fundamental building blocks of the Internet - free exchange of information. Regardless of what the supporters say, we all know that once it's enacted, it's fair game for any large corporation that has the funds to start the legal nitpicking necessary to gain them a few more bucks. Another statement on the pending bill.

Who's surprised? We all know that many conservatives have vested (read - monetary) interests in the big media outlets. LOL - I'm kind of glad to hear this although I don't know that Stern's criticism will help oust Bush!

Right. Because parents certainly aren't the ones buying this stuff for their kids to shove down their throats... God forbid a parent should actually tell their child they can't have that box of Cap'n Crunch.

If these guys are saying the BBC is dumbing down, what the hell happened in America? A complete frontal lobotomy?

This kind of makes me ill. One group is clamoring that advertisers need to quit targeting children while another proposes ads in schoolbusses.

I thought this type of spying was the purvey of the Bureau of Homeland Defense...

By the way, check out Moveon's Action forum. They're asking for feedback on their direction for the upcoming election. (yes, i realize that was a rhyme...)

School systems and bussing

Thoughts:

1. Bussing may be part of the answer but it's not *the* answer


2. Pulling a child out of the neighborhood culture can damage the learning process


3. Are there programs in place in schools to help integrate children when they're bussed into unfamiliar areas?


4. Do our schools expect kids to just 'adjust naturally' when they're thrown into classrooms with children from completely unfamiliar backgrounds?


5. If there are grade school programs on intercultural relations do they address the cross cultures within the classroom/school itself?


6. How do schools define cross-culture? Are they interested on in a more international perspective? (ex: Here's what it's like in Africa/Ireland/South America)

This list is incomplete but it's enough to get me started. This came up because of the huge bussing fight that led to the school choice program in CMS. There are two radically different perspectives on bussing and both have valid points. As I see it, however, bussing is only an effect not a cause. Bussing or not bussing doesn't seem to have much of an effect on true desegregation/integration (two vastly different concepts). To me, bussing is an attempt to address the effects of racism and classism (non-whites in lower quality schools, etc) instead of looking at the real problems.

As I've already stated, I view integration and desegregation as two vastly different concepts. Desegregation doesn't imply movement forward but only a movement within an existing situation. Integration implies progress and forward movement - activity and motion. There's a difference between allowing non-whites to enter through the front door and actually welcoming those people into an establishment they helped create.

This is starting to feel as if it could be an interesting project to look at. CR and integration within the school system - working with children and helping integrate them into the learning environment on a personal level. I don't feel I articulated that too clearly but I'll work on developing the idea a bit further. There may already be something in place here so I'll check that out also.

Some class changes

I had to drop my Intercultural CR class in order to take the Education class required for my mentoring job. No big deal, I wasn't feeling the vibe from ICR this term anyway! In addition to the education class, I've got to sign up for a mentoring session that goes with the course and a 'teaching technology' course. There's also a leadership seminar in April I'll be attending. So lots of work but at least I get academic credit for it!

I cannot begin to describe how great it feels to know that I was chosen for this job. It's such a gift and I'm so looking forward to it.

A story...

I had this great little story idea at 4:00 this morning. Here's how it turned out:
======================================================
Bumbleybee

Once upon a time there was a bumblebee. Her name was Bumbley and she was one of the busiest bees in the hive. She spent her days doing lots of what bees do best - flying around, visiting lots of flowers, and making sure they were all pollinated properly. She was a good worker bee - effecient and speedy - and had recently been given even more pollination responsibility.

One day, during a quick lunch break, she overheard two other bees gossiping about a third bee. Apparently, the third bee had been unofficially recognized by the head of the work crew. According to what the two chatty bees said, the third bee had done some truly amazing work with a field of goldenrods and word was possibly even making its way back to the main overseer.

Bumbley was crushed. She had worked so hard on her fields and she had gotten nothing. Not even a glance or an honorable mention. She hadn't even known how important it was to have someone recognize her work. Now, what was the use? She flew slowly towards her field, towards a particularly impressive milk thistle with lovely, silky strands. She knew the thistle wouldn't mind if she lighted for a moment and contemplated her sad situation.

As she stood on one of the thistle's leaves, big fat tears rolling down her face, she felt something light and soft touch her back and wings. She looked around and saw the thistle's fronds stroking her short black and yellow bristles. "Why do you weep dear one?" asked the thistle in its whispery, rustly voice. "Oh dear thistle!" hiccupped Bumbley, "All my work has been in vain! The head of the work crew never even noticed all I've done."

"Oh" said the thistle, "I am sorry you feel so badly." "Thank you" mumbled Bumbley, "I just wish there was some way for all my work to be noticed." "Well" said the thistle, "I know I am not an important personage like the head of the work crew, but I believe in your work with all my strands!" Bumbley looked up a little, still feeling dejected and lonely "Why? I'm just another worker bee, there's nothing special about me. If there was, surely the head of the work crew would have noticed."

"Well" said the thistle, "I don't know about heads or work crews or anything else like that but I know that I'm always happy to see you." "You are?" asked Bumbley, starting to feel better. "Yes" said the thistle. "You always bring pollen from the nicest flowers and you hum when you visit. I like sharing pollen with you because I know it's going to make it to other wonderful thistles. I don't know what other bees do, although I'm sure they're good at it, I only know what you do. You're the bee I know and you're the bee I love. You bring much joy and happiness into my life and I love you for that."

Bumbley was so startled that she feel off the leaf. She hovered for a moment and then lowered herself back down, looking up at the thistle fronds waving gently in the wind. "You love me?" she asked incredulously. It had never occurred to her that someone other than the head of the work crew or the other bees might have something to say about her work. Now, she was hearing these wonderful things from someone who actually saw her and knew what she did. She felt a bubbly and happy feeling rising up - this lovely flower, whom she had never before considered important, had given her a whole new perspective.

Did it matter what the head of the work crew thought or did it matter what the flowers in her field thought? Why did the head of the work crew's opinion mean anything when it was the flowers who truly mattered? The flowers were enriched by her visits, they loved seeing her and were the purpose of her work. In fact, visiting flowers was the whole reason she was here! She realized that she had lost touch with how much she loved simply visiting each flower and, as a result, she had forgotten the joy those visits used to bring.

Bumbley thanked the thistle profusely and was rewarded by seeing the silky strands turn a faint shade of blushing pink. "Oh Bumbleybee" said the thistle, "I'm just glad that you aren't so sad anymore." Bumbley checked before she left and took a load of the thistle's pollen with her as she flew off. She knew just the thistle to pollinate with this wonderful pollen and she was looking forward to another lovely visit.

Now, Bumbley is the most bubbly, effervescent bee you could ever imagine. She makes special efforts to visit flowers that others might not visit and to carry their pollen places it would otherwise never reach. She's realized that visiting different flowers, bringing joy and happiness to their lives and taking the joy and happiness inside them to other flowers is the most wonderful task she could ever imagine doing. She is so happy in her work now that the flowers seem to come to her, she never has to fly very far before someone calls out to her. She sees the beauty in every flower and is always eager to help carry that beauty to others - realizing that pollinating joy is the most important thing anyone could ever do.

What the @#*$(&@ Do We Know?

Holy moley I just saw an incredible movie! I don't remember the details to clearly yet as my energy was focused in my 6th, not my 2nd but here are a couple of things I do remember:

Light is a wave of possibility when we aren't looking and a particle of experience when we are looking.
The brain doesn't know the difference between external experience and thoughts about an experience

Yipppppeeeeeeee!

I got the mentoring position with the University Studies program! yayayayay :):):) I just found out yesterday and I'm totally walking on air!

tidbittles

As much as I like Moveon.org, Factcheck may have them on this one.

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The World STILL Says No to War!
Global Day of Action Against War and Occupation
Saturday, March 20

http://www.unitedforpeace.org

Anti-war groups throughout the United States and around the globe will take to the streets on Saturday March 20, the one-year anniversary of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, under the banner "The World Still Says No to War." Over 150 protests are planned in cities across the United States, from Alaska to Florida, Hawaii to Maine, calling for an end to the occupation of Iraq. Similar demonstrations will take place on every continent in the world, making March 20 a global day of coordinated action in the spirit of last year's historic February 15 protests.


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So how scary is this? This whole thing about Bushco and cronyism is starting to take on a distinctly Twilight Zone feel.

Personality tests

I just took a Briggs/Myers type personality test and my type is now ENFP (it used to be ENTJ a.k.a the FieldMarshal). Here are some descriptions of my new type :)

http://keirsey.com/personality/nfep.html
http://keirsey.com/pygmalion/advocates.html
http://typelogic.com/enfp.html

This type is often called the Champion or Advocate and I have to admit, it describes me pretty well. The Champion is a subset of the Idealist personality type.

read/respond

I just read the article Class Warfare or Human Rights? published in the latest edition of the PeaceWorker. The author, Robert Beal, talks about overclass warfare (my understanding - the superrich basically changing whatever they want to get more for themselves), mass apathy, and something he calls Full Livelihood. He doesn't define the common understanding of full livelihood but he does give an idealized version and here's some of what he lists:

spiritual trascendence/self-actualization
income safety net
education-on-demand
healthcare-on-demand
time
personal safety
civic safety
clean water, earth air

Although much of the article was a bit academic I liked the section on Full Livelihood. What I find interesting is the fundamental value shift that needs to happen before Americans, in general, begin to value the things he's listed. Although many many people pay at least nominal lip service to the ideas of self actualization, clean air, sustainable lifestyles, and renewable energy, most people I talk to are pretty focused on making enough money to pay their bills and have a little left over. Even though many of these people are paying their bills and otherwise 'making it', they don't feel that way.

What I see in Mr. Beal's list is a shift in focus from the materialist to the spiritualist. A basic priority shift in which people begin to realize that having more things doesn't make you feel any happier or any more secure. I believe this shift is beginning as more and more people are beginning to feel stirrings of discontent and unhappiness. Many people I speak with talk about finding themselves, finding meaning, having a purpose. This is something that the materialist American dream doesn't allow for. When people define their worth by the number and/or size of physical objects they possess, they lose the power of self definition. They look to others to judge their worth, based on a variety of external variables.

Relinquishing our internal power to external sources is never successful. People work harder and harder and are more and more unhappy. They have less and less of the things they say they value - time, love, relationships, etc. The problem is that most people have bought into the societal idea that more things make you a more perfect person. What we're beginning to realize is that the American dream *only* looks at the material world - it doesn't take into consideration the human need for meaning and purpose. It defines us as what we have, not who we are.

Super duper movie!

I just saw Winged Migration and it was outstanding! I highly recommend the movie, even more highly if you have children - they'll love it :) I noticed that the critics, of course, weren't overly enthusiastic but screw them. Who cares if you learn lots of details, facts, and figures? The best part was seeing all those birds and all those places that you'll probably never get to see in person. Not to mention getting to see things from (literally) a bird's eye view.

group facilitation

I recently had the opportunity to participate in a local study group concerned with nonviolence. It was an interesting experience but the thing that interested me most was the chance to observe another facilitator whose style of leadership is very different from mine.

Good articles

I ran across the following articles in Alternatives, a free mag here in Portland:

Some Dare Call It Treason-Wake Up America!
By Dr. Robert Bowman, USAF Ret.

I thought Dr. Bowman did a fine job articulating many of the thoughts I've had around the wrongness of this war.

Leaving Home: Facing Reality without Losing Hope-A Peaceful Nation
By Ness Blackbird

Although Ness doesn't put forth a plan of action, his words were comforting in that I know I'm not alone if feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of the current political situation. I'd like to see him expand his idea of a peaceful nation. I like the idea but there are no solid suggestions on how to make it happen.

Haiti?

I haven't been following the recent events in Haiti but I found this story in my inbox this morning. If America is actually called on their part in this, I wonder who's going to take the blame?

Some voting resources

Since the election is looming a short nine months away, I thought I'd start reading up on voting practices and other voter education stuff. Here are some sites I found that look good:

Fairvote.org:

NOTE: Research is (obviously) incomplete