Chunky hunks o' not-so-goodness

So I've got this great picture of me and croed last december at a horse show in Charlotte and I'm just disgusted with myself. In all honesty, I've only put on a few pounds but I feel like I've gained a ton! Of course, I also have a fairly recent picture (taken by my mom a few weeks ago) that is *distinctly* unflattering. The comparison is pretty frickin depressing. In fact, I love almost all the pictures of myself from this past winter and don't even like to look at the ones from this past spring & summer.

So why is that? I mean, I wasn't all THAT skinny in the winter pics, why the bug-o-rama? Maybe because that was the first time (ever) in my life that I liked the way I looked and it just depresses me because I'm just not feeling that love anymore. I think, also, that it's taking a while for my external being to change to match whatever I've changed internally. It feels like I've made shifts in how I think about myself (on the most fundamental level) but I'm still uncertain how that kind of change will manifest itself.