Sitting here in a meeting feeling absolutely useless! These people don't even know who am I - they're all in a conference room onthe other side of the country & know each other...I'm about as useful as a raindrop in the ocean LOL Oh well...

Not a whole lot of interesting thought going on these last couple of days. Lots of time/energy going into planning my trip, packing, setting up meetings, and general busyness. Also, I've actually had to curtail some personal interests in order to get my work done - that blows! Work is just *so* in the way of my personal pursuits! At any rate, I've had to turn a bit more attention to the job and that's cut into my time to blog and theorize and spout opinions in general.

Looks like the weather's changing - moving more towards fall with cold & rain. Yucky because I can't ride but slightly good because that will make the decision for me on nights that I want to do more than one thing :)

Here's a list of back issues of peace bulletinsfrom moveon.org and here's a link to Michael Moore's latest book Dude, Where's My Country?.

Okay - so I've *really* had my head in the sand to miss the whole J Lynch's 'faked' rescue and then the proposed assassination plot - or was it just not really covered in our news at all? Of course, there is the fact that I haven't been following the news lately - precisely because I was tired of hearing all the depressing and negative talk about economy, war, results of war, international crisis & hate, etc...

As with almost everything handled by our current government, the true facts will probably never be known. What really happened was probably a bit of everything that's been reported - some hollywoodizing, work, drama, danger, heroism, lying, media management, and the rest of it. Sad thing is - this buts a bit of a tarnish on the whole rescue operation - makes me wonder if she was ever in the kind of danger that was portrayed? Not that she was 'safe' - being sent to fight a war doesn't consitute 'safe' in any manner - but that perhaps the Iraqis weren't torturing her and planning on killing her as we were told...

We'll probably never know but I'm glad the SF & elite forces guys did their job and got her home safely.

So here's something from CNN on the Pentagon's response to the BBC allegations around Lynch's rescue (see previous post). And here's 'back at ya' commentary from the BBC.

And here's some more interesting go 'round on this from Bill Adams - Idler Yet.

Even Bush's own party is starting to feel the love.

On another note - something even more shocking (if at all possible) - I just heard about the BBC story on the 'rescue' of Jessica Lynch. I suppose it's possible that they dreamed this up but why? And if this is true, it's one of the saddest things I've heard about the war so far.

It would make me angry but it just makes me sad. I know a couple of SF personnel and to think that the SF participated (either knowingly or unknowingly) in this type of charade is just gross. The people I know are very dedicated to their calling and are passionate about what they do. To take their committment to each other and their committment to their country and turn it into a sideshow is disgusting. If I were an SF soldier, I would be sick to hear about something like this

As I've said before - I don't believe in the American military machine but I do believe in the men and women who feel called to serve and protect this country and I feel it's completely wrong to use them in such a degrading manner. I guess I shouldn't be too terribly surprised - the administration doesn't seem to care who gets hurt in its rush to gather even more power. They've abused the military as much or more than the other citizens of the US, why would they feel any remorse over something like this?

I know there's a saying: "Be careful what you energize (or what you focus your attention on)" so I'm not going to spend any more time on this but I did find it shocking. I will only say that my sympathy and compassion for our soldiers (both the elite and regular forces) grows each day - they need to come home.

I'm absolutely *hating* having a cat right now. It just seems like all this work for no return. He's not a bad cat, I just don't have the time nor the desire to cater to an animal. Interesting day at work - I actually felt like a grownup and (almost) part of the team. I'm also realizing that my time at work to 'do my own thing' has rapidly diminished and that I can't count on having that time anymore :( Guess I have to do my stuff on my own time now...

To tangent wildly - here's yet ANOTHER Hallibushton...errr...Halliburton story. Funny - I was always under the impression that governmental agencies couldn't, legally, award a no-bid contract. Perhaps I was wrong...certainly I don't see any legal action being taken against this contract. OH YEAH - I forgot!!! The courts are now part of Hallibushton!

Depressing...I think I'll go eat.

By the way, Signs is a good online feminist journal

Okay - so I've succumbed to pop culture and subscribed to Glamor magazine. Yes, I realize that there are *lots* of not so good things about it but I also realize that many of those things are being pushed by advertisers. The actual content of the magazine tells a bit of a different story. Sure, there are all the spots about how to be more beautiful, more glamorous, etc (obviously the issue here is that women are never beautiful enough blah blah) HOWEVER - they also manage to squeeze in some good stuff surprisingly enough.

The latest issue has a story on rape victims and an increasingly popular rapist defense tactic that victimizes the woman even further. Unfortunately, they don't feature ANY of the good solid stories online (yes, I did send them email about that!). Some of the other topics they've covered recently include a cancer survivor's diary, a piece on breast cancer, ways to support research for heart disease, a *great* piece on abortion clinics and women telling their stories about trips to clinics, and so on. Like I said - good stuff in with the entertainment.

I have to say, one of the challenges of being a feminist (for me anyway) is finding ways to enjoy being female without feeling guilty or like I'm betraying other women. As the women's movement is all about women and their freedom to choose, why shouldn't one of those choices be to look pretty, flirt, and be sexy? And another choice is to be a traditional wife/mother, stay home, take care of the family, cook and be the primary care giver. Another choice is to be on the front lines, an activist, fighting for all women to have the right to make these choices from a healthy and loving place.

I believe that criticizing other women for their lifestyle choices defeats the purpose of the women's movement and feminism in general. It's true, there is fighting involved and there are principles that are worth fighting for but to me the most important thing we are fighting for is for women to have the right to make these choices - to know that they *have* a choice. That's most important to me and I'm eternally grateful for the women who have fought before me.

More template tweaking, just playing with column width, placement, etc...haven't worked with any HTML in a while so it's kind of fun :) Next goal is to revisit the whole comment thing - I'd like to find commenting script that includes permanent linking so I'll be on the lookout for that.

Am absolutely impressed with the way the instructors at Portland State have been so responsive to my requests to meet them on my trip! Complete contrast to the 'other' university I'm visiting where the program director can't make time for me (even though I gave her 6-8 weeks notice). I've decided my response to that whole bunch of silliness is going to be to have a great time visiting Colorado and just enjoy myself!

Read a couple of interesting articles in the local Creative Loafing last night. I'm about five weeks behind so these are a bit old (from the September 24 issue), but here they are:

An interesting look at a little talked about but highly pervasive attitude in American culture

From a normal, everyday Jane - a look at how Bush's foreign policy continues to alienate the European countries

A great story about race from a photojournalism perspective - here are what they're listing as the top 10 race topics in this exhibition:

1. Race is a modern idea. Ancient societies, like the Greeks, did not divide people according to physical distinctions, but according to religion, status, class, or even language. The English language didn't even have the word "race" until it turned up in 1508 in a poem by William Dunbar referring to a line of kings.

2. Race has no genetic basis. Not one characteristic, trait or even gene distinguishes all the members of one so-called race from all the members of another so-called race.

3. Human subspecies don't exist. Unlike many animals, modern humans simply haven't been around long enough or isolated enough to evolve into separate subspecies or races. Despite surface appearances, we are one of the most similar of all species.

4. Skin color really is only skin deep. Most traits are inherited independently from one another. The genes influencing skin color have nothing to do with the genes influencing hair form, eye shape, blood type, musical talent, athletic ability or forms of intelligence. Knowing someone's skin color doesn't necessarily tell you anything else about him or her.

5. Most variation is within, not between, "races." Of the small amount of total human variation, 85 percent exists within any local population, be they Italians, Kurds, Koreans or Cherokees. About 94 percent can be found within any continent. That means two random Koreans may be as genetically different as a Korean and an Italian.

6. Slavery predates race. Throughout much of human history, societies have enslaved others, often as a result of conquest or war, even debt, but not because of physical characteristics or a belief in natural inferiority. Due to a unique set of historical circumstances, ours was the first slave system where all the slaves shared similar physical characteristics.

7. Race and freedom evolved together. The US was founded on the radical new principle that "All men are created equal." But our early economy was based largely on slavery. How could this anomaly be rationalized? The then-new idea of race helped explain why some people could be denied the rights and freedoms that others took for granted.

8. Race justified social inequalities as natural. As the race idea evolved, white superiority became "common sense" in America. It justified not only slavery but also the extermination of Indians, exclusion of Asian immigrants, and the taking of Mexican lands by a nation that professed a belief in democracy. Racial practices were institutionalized within American government, laws, and society.

9. Race isn't biological, but racism is still real. Race is a powerful social idea that gives people different access to opportunities and resources. Our government and social institutions have created advantages that disproportionately channel wealth, power, and resources to white people. This affects everyone, whether we're aware of it or not.

10. Colorblindness will not end racism. Pretending race doesn't exist is not the same as creating equality. Race is more than stereotypes and individual prejudice. To combat racism, we need to identify and remedy social policies and institutional practices that advantage some groups at the expense of others.

Here's a cool acronym: SHIT (Significant High Impact Trauma) happens! I am feeling this acronym at the moment because something's happened to throw a kink in my grad school visitation plans. As it turns out, the program director at U of D is *probably* not going to have time to see me. On one hand, I understand because there's a really big symposium on Northern Ireland happening at the same time as my trip.

On the other hand, I contacted her 6-8 weeks ago to ask if this would be convenient, if she would have time, etc. and she assured me it would be no problem. I would have arranged my trip to visit Denver last if she had told me she was tied up. I realize that a visiting potential student isn't high on the priority list, but I've been in fairly regular contact with her and I have to say I'm finding this rather rude. I mean, I'm not just driving an hour to visit - I'm flying out there *specifically* to talk to the PDs of the two schools. I mean, how inconsiderate is that?

On a more cheerful note, the people at Portland have been extremely helpful and nice and have made it clear that they're very interested in speaking with me. On the whole, the experience with Portland, so far, has been vastly better than the one with U of D. This still doesn't mean I've decided but my feeling is leaning more and more to Portland.

I've decided to look at the bright side and consider my trip to Denver as a vacation and a chance to visit Boulder. I've always wanted to visit that area so here's my chance! I'll probably just check out of the Denver hotel Friday and stay in Boulder Fri nite & Sat. Yay - this is going to be more fun than I thought!

Okay - so all the drama with my ex gave me a opportunity to practice some conflict resolution.

I ordered some beginning lit on conflict resolution (from half.com - great place for books!):

• A Manual for Group Facilitators (Paperback Textbook)
  Betsy Densmore, Brian Auvine, Mary Extrom



• The Handbook of Conflict Resolution



• The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution (Paperback, Reprint, 1994)
  Dudley Weeks



• Gandhi's Way (Paperback, 1999)
  Mark Juergensmeyer

Have also received my first issue of Ode magazine - am eagerly looking forward to reading some positive news! I've had to take a break from my reading and news catching up the last week or so - I was so overwhelmed with negative *everything* that I couldn't take it anymore :( No wonder everyone's in such a bad mood and even the economy's depressed!

Here are some tips on listening I've found to be extremely effective. Problem is, I don't usually realize I'm doing it until afterwards LOL:

8 Wrong Ways to Listen

1. Editing: Hearing only what you want to hear
2. Rehearsing: Thinking about what you want to say while the other person is talking.
3. Delving: Focusing on finding hidden messages, rather than listening to what the other person is saying.
4. Daydreaming: Letting your mind wander.
5. Personalizing: Relating everything the person is saying to your own life and allowing your thoughts to wander.
6. Switching: Changing the subject as soon as the other person stops speaking.
7. Arguing: Focusing on finding something to judge or ridicule.
8. Agreeing: Nodding your head to everything to avoid conflict.

It's funny how any one (or more) of these bad habits can creep up at any time. True, we can't all be good listeners *all* the time but I try to make the effort especially if the person who's speaking is obviously speaking about something that is important to them. I've especially caught myself in the midst of 2 and 3 (it's just the latent psychologist in me)...

So there's some drama going on around my ex and it's somewhat unpleasant. Over such a silly thing but I guess (ultimately) that's what most icky situations are about LOL Weather here has been great - had a great ride last night. Spoke with one of the adjunct faculty members at Portland State on Sunday and she was great! She's thinking of other people that I might be interested in talking to when I'm there so she's really helping me out. My trip is next week - I can't believe it!

Going to the Ren Faire this weekend - in costume no less! Yes, I know it seems silly but I love it :) Have I mentioned how my (work) computer can masquerade as a real piece of sh*t sometimes? Yes, amazing as that sounds, it surely can... My baby at home is quite a little workhorse - usually no problems. However, this here granny just grinds down and out at randomly selected times - not at all pleasant!

Great weather today - had a great ride last night. I love my little white Sadie - she's the best!

I forgot how much I like having actual work to do! No matter how silly the job may seem in the larger perspective, I'm still getting paid to do it and it does give a sense of accomplishment :)

How do we handle intrapersonal conflict? I was a Communications major and we studied lots of interpersonal theory and practice but there was little information on intrapersonal communication. The difference in the two? Interpersonal is between two people, intrapersonal is your inner conversations (that little voice in your head). I took the intrapersonal approach with some of my research because I believe that the key to understanding and relating to others is to understand yourself and your own motives *first*.

True, everyone says they know who they are, where they're coming from, and what their motives are. If that's true, then why do we still have all this fighting, screaming, and carrying on? If we truly understood what motivated us to do the things we do, might we not have less strife in the world? Yes, that sounds airy fairy - "Can't we all just get along?" but why shouldn't we strive for that kind of living environment? When did it become uncool to sound optimistic and hopeful about working for peace? Seems to me it's become not only uncool but almost (gasp) unpatriotic! [I admit it - that was a cheap shot]

Back to the point - if we understand our inner motivations, perhaps we won't be so quick to re-act to other people's actions but will be able to get a feel for the situation and respond instead. The difference in the two words?

react: (from Merriam-Webster online)

1 : to exert a reciprocal or counteracting force or influence -- often used with on or upon
2 : to respond to a stimulus
3 : to act in opposition to a force or influence -- usually used with against
4 : to move or tend in a reverse direction

respond:
1 : to say something in return : make an answer
2 a : to react in response b : to show favorable reaction
3 : to be answerable

It's true, the definitions would tend to make one think that the words are interchangeable but closer examination shows that although they both involve taking an action in answer to another action, the way the answer is handled is somewhat different. For me, reacting and responding are two sides of the same coin.

A reaction is more about gaining power in the conversation or situation. Performing an action or saying something that will put you in the driver's seat or give you the upper hand. A reponse is more about discovering what's going on and then determining an appropriate behavior. A reaction is based in impulse - whether that impulse is a angry impulse or a loving impulse is not the issue. A response is a considered behavior. An action that is chosen after consideration of the situation and the others involved in the situation.

On the whole, we react instead of respond - myself included.

Okay, so I'm in online test mode! I took the Personality test at the spark: - pretty funny considering how much I dislike politicians!

My Results:

POLITICIAN
(Dominant Extrovert Abstract Thinker )

Like just 5% of the population you are a POLITICIAN (DEAT)--forceful, outgoing, and forward-looking. You are strong-willed and extroverted, so you enjoy interacting with other people. You aggressively pursue your goals.

Your creative style of thinking allows you to come up with unusual arguments and original ideas that appeal to others, but behind it all is an analytical mind that never forgets the bottom line. While some might see you as manipulative, your close friends know you are a talented person who deserves the best in life.

Whatever. You *are* manipulative. Whether you use your power for "good" or "bad", it's up to you. If you're confused what good or bad means, ask a HEALER. Like EXPERIMENTERS, you have a propensity for cheating.

I did the geek quiz at thudfactor and here are the results:

You are 40% geek

You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator. Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend. You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines! Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals! You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

A friend of mine was talking to me about a management class she took that focused on managing relationships with people you have difficulty with. They talked about when, where, and why communication breaks down and about three general categories people fall into: relation-oriented, information-oriented, and action-oriented. This brought on the realization (yeah, I know I may seem a bit slow) that there's a bunch of good information available on conflict resolution - probably a HUGE variety of methodologies, theories, and practical implementations. So why am I interested? What do I think I can bring to the CR table? I think I can bring a more spiritual approach. It's hard to really explain because it hasn't really taken definite shape for me yet but I know I'm on the right track.

it's late and I'm tired. my cat won't leave me alone - i *really* am not wanting a pet right now. Anyone want a cat? He's a very sweet little tuxedo kitty, well trained & doesn't scratch the furniture. My schedule has changed drastically and I'm almost never home - he's lonely and I don't have time to spend with him...

not a lot of thought going on except some about the Iranian female who won the Nobel prize. I admit, I don't know much about her work but the fact that a female from Iran (one of the most oppressive & dangerous places for women) won certainly says something. Between this and Jessica Lynch's rescue (another dramatic female presence in the Middle Eastern world) perhaps something is beginning to shift.

Okay, so here's something interesting ... a Gallup poll about how different people view the media. Funny considering my rant about possible media bias earlier. I do remember learning some Communications theory about this - how we believe things that are close to what we already believe (Lattitude of Acceptance) and disagree with things that are farther away from our Lattitude of Acceptance. The narrower our LOA, the bigger our LOR is...makes sense.

Here's an interesting quote from Ronald Reagan. What I find fascinating is that so many people desire peace but that our perceptions of the ways to attain peace are so wildly different. It seems there are two very broad categories that most of us (loosely) fall into: Those who believe that peace must be attained and maintained via whatever means necessary and those who believe peace can only be achieved by listening, understanding, and a willingness to compromise. I am not passing judgement on either side because there are valid arguments for both. There are no clear answers, no black and white areas. Because the idea of peace is so nebulous, it stands to reason that ideas around ways of achieving peace would also be difficult to come to agreement on.

Good day at work, fairly busy keeping everything moving on through. I feel a bit like a human glass of Metamucil! I like where I work - nice people, not a lot of strife and/or gossip that I have to hear and I'm pretty much left on my own. That, obviously, has its pros and cons but it is pretty laid back. I can do cool stuff like keep my various blogs updated and catch up on my online reading. Back to the (non) grind :)

Now no one can say I never helped Bush while he was in the White House. There aren't words to describe how contemptible he and his administration are. There is nothing I can say that could adequately describe the damage I feel he's done to our nation and our world. The long term repercussions of his actions are overwhelming to consider - the amount of debt and ill will he's incurred that we'll have to deal with and then our children & grandchildren. You can read more about the CIA scandal at the Progressive magazine online.

There have been few things in my life that I've been passionate about, either for or against. Well I can thank the current gov't for one thing - they've given me something to be passionate about. If they hadn't taken power, it's possible I would have just continued on my apathetic path, bitching and moaning without actually doing anything. That's changed. I can't sit around and just watch this travesty continue. I feel like I have to do something, even if it doesn't seem terribly big to begin with. Just saying that they're a bunch of warmongering asses isn't enough anymore. They've aptly demonstrated behavior I *don't* want to see in the government of the country I choose to live in. Talk about contrast - I'm sure that we could have worse but I'm also sure as HELL we could have something better. I intend to work towards getting something better.

Maybe this is what America needed to wake up. Maybe we needed this monstrous slap in the face from these power hungry thieves so that we'd finally sit up and ask "What the hell is going on?". It's funny in a sad way - stuff like this goes on all the time in other countries (especially developing countries) and we just brush it off and say 'pooh pooh', it's their problem. Now, it's our problem. We have people in power who weren't legally elected and they've dragged our country into the shithole, without much protest from the majority of its citizens I might add.

Personally, I think we were just shocked and unbelieving that something like that could happen IN AMERICA!!! I think the first few years people were just having trouble getting their brains around what happened; walking around asking "Was that what I THOUGHT it was?!" I have to believe this. I refuse to believe that the American people have become so apathetic and lazy that what's happened doesn't matter to them.

I also have to believe that many of them are that lazy and apathetic. That they are so unthinking that they'll unquestioningly believe whatever the White House's media corps feeds them. Even though I don't believe there's a big media conspiracy, I do believe that many of today's media outlets follow the herd. There is little to no large scale reporting that consistently questions unless everyone else is also questioning. Not to say it never happens, just that it certainly isn't the norm. I mean - the media should be raising the questions - not just parroting them along with everyone else. Part of the job of the journalist (as I understand it) is to question decisions that are made and actions that are taken - to discover the motivations behind those decisions and actions.

Now it seems the big media is right there in the pig trough getting fed the same slop as the rest of us. I'm going to stop the lazy media rant now - I don't have lots more to say and I'm really no media expert so this is strictly my opinion.

Another observation I'll make about Bush: It's been said that people who are in power who are doing the best they can, who are under a great deal of strain and who are truly working in the service of their constituents age while they're in office. They get those lines of worry and care that we all get only more so because they're dealing with the cares of a nation. Even Clinton looked older when he left office and mention has been made of how Lincoln aged and Nixon didn't. Bush looks fine.

He doesn't look any older now than he did the day he took office. You'd think that the man who is (nominally) the leader of a country that went through the biggest farce of an election ever, suffered devastating terrorist attacks, began two unpopular wars/invasions, and is suffering in a downward spiral of economic repression/depression would look careworn and tired. He looks fresh as a daisy when I've seen him. He does have the frown wrinkle of concentration between his brows, but that's from trying to puzzle out what's been written down for him to read.

He's a bully - manipulative and sly - and he loves being the center of attention. Doesn't matter that it's negative attention, it's still something. Wow - what a guy.

Found another new organization that focuses on positive change for the future: Futurenet, the publishers of Yes! A Journal for Positive Futures. I found them while doing some research on Marshall Rosenberg and Matthew Fox. Dr. Rosenberg is a leader in the nonviolent communication/mediation community (he founded the Center for Nonviolent Communication) and I'm *very* interested in the work he's doing. He studied with Carl Rogers and incorporates spirituality into his methods on a fundamental level.

Matthew Fox is one of the leaders in the creation spirituality movement and founded the University of Creation Spirituality. What I like about what I've read on him so far is his emphasis on spirtuality leading to compassion and how we literally create our own experience.

All this may seem somewhat removed from conflict resolution but it isn't. There are two main schools of thought around conflict: 1.) That conflict can only be managed or 2.) That conflict can actually be resolved (re-solved, perhaps indicating that all resolutions exist, it's just a matter of finding them?). I'm of the second school of thought - that conflict can be resolved on its most basic level - the level of understanding between human beings.

One of the first things to do is look at the definition of conflict. How do we define and regard conflict? To me, conflict represents potential change - change in our physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual reality. Because we're human, we're not always open to change of any type or change of a type we feel we're not ready for. So this creates a struggle between the reality we're currently experiencing and the reality we think this change will bring. If the potential reality doesn't meet our (usually rigid) expectations, if it has the potential to change our current experience, we rebel, we struggle and we engender conflict.

Conflict can happen on a tremendous number of levels from personal conflict between two people to cultural, societal, and national conflicts between various groups of people. Conflict also takes place internally, within our own hearts and minds. It's my belief that our external conflicts directly mirror our internal conflicts. That a national conflict mirrors the hearts and minds of the people who consider themselves part of that nation.

So where I'm going with this is here: If we can find a way to look at our internal conflict and begin re-solving our personal issues around change and growth, it seems that we can begin to change our thought process, thus beginning to create from a different, perhaps higher, perspective. If our mind is our tool of creation, if the power of our thoughts shapes our reality, then wouldn't it follow that we should have a clearer understanding of where those thoughts are coming from? Are they coming from our acceptance of the ever present Now or are they coming from our resistance to change, our fear of the unknown?

The very language we use changes dramatically depending on where our thoughts originate. Instead of a problem, it becomes a challenge. Instead of difficult, it becomes interesting. Instead some event just happening 'to' us, it becomes something we can experience and learn from. The paradigm we use to think about our lives and reality shifts - how could our creative abilities not begin to respond differently?

Because we have looked at our internal conflict, we may also find ourselves responding to conflict with others from a different place - a more generous and loving place. But it all starts with a willingness to look at our reactions to conflict directly and unflinchingly. To discover why we are so afraid of the potential for change, why we are so rigid in our expectation about how things should look.

okay - i've spent most of the day tweaking my template for this blog and setting up my other blog. done some work but not huge amounts of it. actually, i've done most of what i needed to do, it just doesn't seem like much. it's funny but after school, i don't think there's any job that will ever require 100% of my mental capabilities again.

I'm going to start another blog in which I talk more about my professional interests - technical communication and such. This may not work. That'll make three blogs - one for *really* personal stuff, this one (probably will end up being my conflict res/peace studies blog) and a technical communication blog. We'll see if I'm able to do anything with it...

Technical Communication - Fantasy or Reality?

I say my background as a TW has been unconventional because I haven't done many of the things 'normal' tech writers do: software manuals, help files, technical/functional specs, RFPs, etc. Most of the work I've done has centered around designing, fine tuning and modifying existing materials, delivering some training, and working with departments that had little or no documentation or procedure. I've enjoyed it immensely but it seems to have set me apart from many others in my field.

I don't use the same tools they do and I haven't encountered the same problems with technology they have. But I feel that as a technical 'communicator' I've benefitted much more than the traditional technical writer. I speak extremely well and have no problems at all either giving a prepared speech or flying by the pants seat, I have a great deal of confidence in my ability to communicate either verbally or in writing. These may seem like 'soft' skills for a TW but they're vital to a TC. Actually, they should be considered vital to any TW also - the ability to communicate often confusing or ambiguous information is part of the job...


(this was originally a separate post but I'm combining the two)


As a technical communicator vs a straight technical writer, what is my focus? Personally, I like to focus on process. I'm a pretty solid writer but my background in technical communication has been unconventional. I started out working the phone at a software reseller and added some minor documentation and training duties during the time I was there. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but I started my career at that moment.

Next, I went to a small private company to work as a trainer. I ended up working as a computer instructor, a lifeskills coach, and an instructional designer. I enjoyed all three areas immensely and believe the skills I learned there have stood me in *great* stead these last few years. I also learned a bit about putting together a presentation to gain business and then presenting the information. I did this a couple of times and both were successful (I think). Of course, the woman I was working for completely flaked out after I left so all the work I did pretty much came to nothing. That was difficult - knowing I had done something to help and then having her drop the ball like she did.

I went to a large insurance company next and gained a great deal of more technical skill. I worked on the helpdesk so I learned basic troubleshooting for pcs, basic information about networks & operating systems, some stuff about remote connectivity and working with a mainframe, some programming and development and good, general information about how the technology industry works. It was great but the company itself was a sinking ship - thank god this rat jumped off!

I next went to a *very* well known software company where I learned about documentation processes. They had a good tool that seemed to (for the most part) outline the doc process fairly well. I'm sure it didn't cover everything but it demonstrated how even a semi-decent tool, properly thought out can be of real assistance in any business process. However, I'm now back at that same company and they changed tools. I'm now seeing how an improperly designed tool can be a bigger hindrance to business process than you would ever believe!!! Seriously - it would almost be better to do the stuff in Word and pass it around.

In between, I worked as trainer/instructional designer for a bit at a small company from hell. At least, it seemed like they were from hell after I'd been there a couple of months. I think the company started out strong but the board brought in an outside CEO and PlasticMan (my nickname that caught on) was a real dick. Yeah - I learned a great deal while I was there - about writing, instructional design, delivering training, and bullshit political manuevering. Damn I'm glad I got 'laid off'.

Spent the next year and a half in school, getting a degree in communications, minor in tech writing. Sad to say, I knew as much or more as my tech writing instructors. They were nice but either had too little 'work' experience or were smoking crack just before class and couldn't teach for shit. Anyway, I'm now back in the working world and am continuing on the journey in the world of technical communication.

One of the projects I did while in school was a technical communication website (link coming soon). As you would expect, it's pretty dry but there are a lot of good academic resources there. There are also a *lot* of links to online tech resources - some of which I even occasionally use! I have found that I enjoy conversations around the theory and rhetoric of technical communication. I am by no means a scholar, or even that well versed, I just like to run my mouth and express my opinion :)

I consider myself a good, solid writer but nothing exceptional. I feel my strength lies in my ability to ask the right questions, to get to the *real* problem and start to find some creative solutions. I find it interesting that many people feel they can't (or won't) address the heart of the problem but are willing to do anything to fix the resulting smaller problems. I guess that's the same in every aspect of life - treat the symptoms but ignore the disease. To be fair, often it seems impossible to treat the disease - especially when it involves an entire organization or a large number of people. Still, it seems there should be some way...

On a more personal note - had disturbing dreams around my ex last nite. Don't really remember much except his sister, his mother (who's dead) and him. Creepy. Have begun working on my portfolio so I can take it with me on my trip. My friend J was commiserating with me on how emotional this is but it's not really emotional for me. It's busy work, tedious to get everything printed, collated, organized, etc. but not emotional. I've never had much emotional attachment to my work projects. I think she was a little startled that I wasn't all emotional over it.

Did get all the stuff printed but now the *really* tedious part - organizing it and making it look pretty...

Here's an interesting viewpoint about Wesley Clark's campaign hoo-haw. There are several interesting comments on this blog entry. You might also want to check out Christopher Lydon's interviews.

On a more cheerful note, here's a virtual tour inside a maximum security prison in Tennessee - not quite the day in the park many of of think it is. For some additional info on this topic, go here.

Gangs in Charlotte are on the rise. Actually, they've probably been here a long time - local law 'forcers probably were hoping the problem would go away. Here's a good place to find out more about gang activity. For more information about gangs in Charlotte, check out Charlotte.com and search on gangs.

Couple of other interesting news items: A tidbit of information on school choice. Some depressing news about finding financial aid to return to college.

How cool is our government? They must be excited that we're only averaging two deaths a day in our military forces. A dear friend of mine's brother was just called to active duty. Her other brother is already active duty SF and is going to be deployed to Iraq in the upcoming months also. Although I've been against the war since before day 1, this just makes it more personal and gives me even more incentive to keep protesting.

I've already talked a lot about this conflict and how I feel but I must say it again: I wouldn't be so angry if I felt there was some JUST cause for what we did. But I don't believe there is. I believe Gore Vidal was right in Blood for Oil, the Bush-Cheney Junta. Maybe not 100%, but I believe our prime motivating factor was oil and power - not justice or human rights.

How much longer will we allow this travesty of an administration to continue jackbooting our future?


More Gore Vidal links:
PBS Documentary/Info
Democracy Now transcript

Okay, I figured out why my links weren't working - I had forgotten to add the http:// to the addy. I'm so used to just typing in www.blahblah.com that I forgot I'd need it! silly me :P

Just added comment functionality from BlogSpeak. Of course, I don't know that I'll ever *get* any comments but I like the idea that maybe (some day) I'll say something that will spark someone's interest :)

I think, at some point, I'd like to really begin discussing conflict res & peace but I'm not sure where to begin. More on this later...

Gloomy weather here, especially compared to the fabulous fall days we've been having. Sprinkly rain, overcast, a bit chilly and damp. The *perfect* day to stay home with hot tea, a fuzzy blanky and mindless TV-tainment...

Another way to participate in your government. Go Join the Debate about America's role in foreign/international policy.

Yesterday was cool but I was totally wasted. I guess all the physical activity finally caught up with me and wiped me out. However, I finally made the most of a cheat day - had an omlette & french toast for breakfast and had 3 slices of pizzas, some twinkies, some ho-hos. and a dr. pepper for dinner! It was great but I'm still feeling a little drained today. I'll probably ride today but think I'll take tomorrow off completely - no riding or training. I think I've just pushed myself a little hard.

Noticed that I've subscribed to lots of magazines, in addition to picking up CL each week, that I am having trouble getting around to. Seems like all the little things are kind of getting put to the wayside. However, I have to get it together in the next week or so and get my portfolio together to take with me on my trip. I'm really feeling like it's going to be Portland but I'm very much looking forward to visiting Denver also.

It's funny, I've been reading other people's blogs and I find myself a little envious of their ability to write so well. I am a good writer but not about the funny everyday stuff. So far, my creativity hasn't been on that level. My attempts at blogging are literally that - attempts. Some of my deeper stuff I've written elsewhere because it involves highly personal soul searching that I'm not ready to share with everyone yet. When I read back over what I've written it's mostly just stream of consciousness rambling - like a journal.

So why does this bother me? Because I want to be good at this - as I define good - be successful. I read other blogs and think "Wow - I really enjoyed reading that" and I would love for people to think that about mine. It does seem that the more successful bloggers have a main idea - something that ties their entries together. Whether it's classes they're taking, their vocation (writer, programmer, etc), an outside interest or whatever, there's something that loosely ties their posts together. I haven't decided what that's going to be yet. I don't want to be focused on politics specifically nor do I want to talk about just dressage, reading, or spiritual stuff. Peace and conflict resolution appeal but I'm not sure where to begin without some more thought.

Maybe it's not the blogging that's at issue, maybe it's just part of me deciding where my path is going to take me next. I have so many interests it's hard to focus on one or two at the time. Right now, I'm so focused on my fitness program, my riding & the bellydancing class that many of my other interests are still on the shelf. I take little time to read, I rarely pick up the camera anymore and I certainly am not taking any time to focus on aromatherapy or drawing. It's true - we do have a finite amount of energy that we can use to focus on what's important to us. I'm glad, in a way, that I'm not involved in a serious relationship because I would have that much less energy to focus on these other areas.

Next fall, when I'm a fulltime student again, I wonder where my non-school energy will go? I'm *not*going to fall into the same rut I did as an undergrad - I will not drop all my physical activity and put on 30 lbs. I've realized how important feeling and looking good are - being healthy in general - and I'll find a way to incorporate my fitness program into school. What else though? I certainly won't be able to go to school, work, and keep up the different physical activities I'm involved in now. We'll see.

Have no idea what I meant to put here

This has actually been a good work week. I had some stuff to do (at last), worked on it and got most of it done. The stuff that didn't get done is just waiting on other items. I can't say how much difference it makes in my energy level if I feel useful/productive at work. That whole sitting around trying to find things to do is just an energy drain that won't stop leaking!

I've been feeling more and more like Portland State is going to be the place. I was looking at some of the instructors for this fall's classes and discovered that Karin Miles (lectures on Mindfulness and CR) is part of the Interfaith Spiritual Center. I'm just blown away because if there's anything like that around here I've never come across it. I know these kinds of progressive institutions may exist in the South but they're few, far between, and not that easy to find. It's just another good feeling I have about going somewhere else for grad school.

Surely we've all heard about the *new* Whitehouse scandal - releasing the name of an American operative, thus endangering her life, friends and colleagues not to mention potentially blowing years of intelligence work. Now I'm the first to say that I don't agree with the way our government chooses to handle it's operations and I don't really believe in secret ops but I feel even more strongly that what our government (allegedly) did was so wrong it defies description.

If our gov't is going to recruit secret operatives, one of the most important words is SECRET! It could mean their lives if they're discovered. Yes, it's possible that they would be uncovered during the normal course of their work but THEIR OWN GOV'T shouldn't give them up! Moveon.org has a petition going to ask Ashecroft to recuse himself from this and appoint a special investigator. According to current figures, approx 70% of Americans feel he should appoint a special prosecutor. Hell, if we can have some special investigate a blow job that didn't cost anyone their life, surely we can have one to investigate this much more damaging situation.

If you're looking for a way to get involved, take a small step - sign the petition.

For those of you who are disillusioned and cynical, try to get out and vote anyway!. Yes, we were basically told to shove our votes up a rat's ass and yes, I realize that it's discouraging and frustrating when we think about all the problems the current administration has ushered in but I have to believe that we can make a difference.

Check out moveon.org They've had an amazing amount of success with online activism and making our voices heard. The only way we're going to effect any change is to keep plugging away and not losing hope.

I'm taking a trip to Denver to scope out the University of Denver and then on to Portland to meet with the Portland State people. I'm looking into doing my graduate work in Conflict Resolution and both of these schools seem to have good, comprehensive programs. It's funny but I got the feeling I'd be moving and Portland/Seattle jumped to mind first. I then began to focus on Denver but Portland's creeping back to the fore.h

On a completely different note - I'm absolutely thrilled with how I look! My fitness program (which includes strength training, cardio, bellydancing, and horseback riding) is absolutely working, even if I am beginning to wear down a little :) I've dropped at least two and a half sizes (was edging back up past 16, am now down to 12 - maybe a bit less) and I've got another 8 weeks or so to go on my initial schedule. YAY ME! I've enjoyed it immensely and am really happy about my appearance.

not working today but taking a moment to blog. listening to ottmar liebert (wonderful wonderful) and trying to get some little housy chores done. was thinking about taking the motorcycle driving test today but decided not to. i'll leave work a bit early one day next week or the week after and do it.

need to work on my portfolio soon - either this weekend or next weekend. want to have it all together to take on my trip. also, may want to go buy a couple of professional skirt/blouse sets to wear - haven't decided yet. but i'm going to the mall with LA on sunday, i think, so i'll check it out then.

anybody want a cat? he's really a good cat and very cute, i just don't want a pet right now AND i'm gone a lot so he's spending LOTS of time alone. i know he doesn't like it cause he's so young.