Yesterday was cool but I was totally wasted. I guess all the physical activity finally caught up with me and wiped me out. However, I finally made the most of a cheat day - had an omlette & french toast for breakfast and had 3 slices of pizzas, some twinkies, some ho-hos. and a dr. pepper for dinner! It was great but I'm still feeling a little drained today. I'll probably ride today but think I'll take tomorrow off completely - no riding or training. I think I've just pushed myself a little hard.

Noticed that I've subscribed to lots of magazines, in addition to picking up CL each week, that I am having trouble getting around to. Seems like all the little things are kind of getting put to the wayside. However, I have to get it together in the next week or so and get my portfolio together to take with me on my trip. I'm really feeling like it's going to be Portland but I'm very much looking forward to visiting Denver also.

It's funny, I've been reading other people's blogs and I find myself a little envious of their ability to write so well. I am a good writer but not about the funny everyday stuff. So far, my creativity hasn't been on that level. My attempts at blogging are literally that - attempts. Some of my deeper stuff I've written elsewhere because it involves highly personal soul searching that I'm not ready to share with everyone yet. When I read back over what I've written it's mostly just stream of consciousness rambling - like a journal.

So why does this bother me? Because I want to be good at this - as I define good - be successful. I read other blogs and think "Wow - I really enjoyed reading that" and I would love for people to think that about mine. It does seem that the more successful bloggers have a main idea - something that ties their entries together. Whether it's classes they're taking, their vocation (writer, programmer, etc), an outside interest or whatever, there's something that loosely ties their posts together. I haven't decided what that's going to be yet. I don't want to be focused on politics specifically nor do I want to talk about just dressage, reading, or spiritual stuff. Peace and conflict resolution appeal but I'm not sure where to begin without some more thought.

Maybe it's not the blogging that's at issue, maybe it's just part of me deciding where my path is going to take me next. I have so many interests it's hard to focus on one or two at the time. Right now, I'm so focused on my fitness program, my riding & the bellydancing class that many of my other interests are still on the shelf. I take little time to read, I rarely pick up the camera anymore and I certainly am not taking any time to focus on aromatherapy or drawing. It's true - we do have a finite amount of energy that we can use to focus on what's important to us. I'm glad, in a way, that I'm not involved in a serious relationship because I would have that much less energy to focus on these other areas.

Next fall, when I'm a fulltime student again, I wonder where my non-school energy will go? I'm *not*going to fall into the same rut I did as an undergrad - I will not drop all my physical activity and put on 30 lbs. I've realized how important feeling and looking good are - being healthy in general - and I'll find a way to incorporate my fitness program into school. What else though? I certainly won't be able to go to school, work, and keep up the different physical activities I'm involved in now. We'll see.