How do we handle intrapersonal conflict? I was a Communications major and we studied lots of interpersonal theory and practice but there was little information on intrapersonal communication. The difference in the two? Interpersonal is between two people, intrapersonal is your inner conversations (that little voice in your head). I took the intrapersonal approach with some of my research because I believe that the key to understanding and relating to others is to understand yourself and your own motives *first*.

True, everyone says they know who they are, where they're coming from, and what their motives are. If that's true, then why do we still have all this fighting, screaming, and carrying on? If we truly understood what motivated us to do the things we do, might we not have less strife in the world? Yes, that sounds airy fairy - "Can't we all just get along?" but why shouldn't we strive for that kind of living environment? When did it become uncool to sound optimistic and hopeful about working for peace? Seems to me it's become not only uncool but almost (gasp) unpatriotic! [I admit it - that was a cheap shot]

Back to the point - if we understand our inner motivations, perhaps we won't be so quick to re-act to other people's actions but will be able to get a feel for the situation and respond instead. The difference in the two words?

react: (from Merriam-Webster online)

1 : to exert a reciprocal or counteracting force or influence -- often used with on or upon
2 : to respond to a stimulus
3 : to act in opposition to a force or influence -- usually used with against
4 : to move or tend in a reverse direction

respond:
1 : to say something in return : make an answer
2 a : to react in response b : to show favorable reaction
3 : to be answerable

It's true, the definitions would tend to make one think that the words are interchangeable but closer examination shows that although they both involve taking an action in answer to another action, the way the answer is handled is somewhat different. For me, reacting and responding are two sides of the same coin.

A reaction is more about gaining power in the conversation or situation. Performing an action or saying something that will put you in the driver's seat or give you the upper hand. A reponse is more about discovering what's going on and then determining an appropriate behavior. A reaction is based in impulse - whether that impulse is a angry impulse or a loving impulse is not the issue. A response is a considered behavior. An action that is chosen after consideration of the situation and the others involved in the situation.

On the whole, we react instead of respond - myself included.