Big venting going on

I've been a bit out of touch lately - haven't been reading newspapers or magazines, listening to the radio, watching the news, or reading news sites so when I (finally) heard about Richard clerk's whistleblowing it was old news. Well, old to CBS maybe but just a rehash of what I've been saying ever since the word Iraq appeared shortly after we invaded Afghanistan.

Those of you who read this blog and those of you who actually know me know that I've been absolutely befuddled for the last year and a half or so wondering what the hell had happened to our country. Why, even in light of all these 'new' revelations and whistleblowing incidents, do so many Americans still appear to support BushCo? Why are people not fucking FURIOUS at what's been allowed to happen? I know I am or, rather, was. I'm kind of tired of being angry now so I'm mainly harboring a dull curiosity - wondering how it's all going to shake out.

If someone like me, who knows so little about politics, could discern that there was NO APPARENT CONNECTION between 9/11 and Saddam Hussein and that the WMD claims & all that hoo-haw appeared to be so much bullshit - what happened to the rest of the American people? I'm no genius but it was pretty fucking obvious that there were some high level shenanigans going on. Then again, I have little to no respect for authority in general, even though I follow many of the rules most of the time, so maybe that led me to question more than most people do.

Aside from my tiny tangent there, the point is this: More and more and more evidence is being brought forward demonstrating that not only did Bush KNOW that there were no WMD in Iraq, he & his cronies were planning the invasion long before 9/11 ever happened. That the administration KNEW the information they were giving the public was false and they did it anyway - many many times. More and more people are coming forward (finally, someone's conscience is waking up); more and more documentation is being brought to light. So why isn't the general public (who has screamed loudly about being deceived) more vehement in wanting Bush to accept responsibility for the decisions that he made?

The only explanation that I can come up with is a bit weak but could be true. From what I've heard, people who are the victims of violent crimes often go through a period of denial. They don't want to admit that something so heinous could actually happen to them. They believe that, somehow, they could have prevented it, that maybe it WAS their fault - that they asked for it. Maybe that's what is going on in America now. The people who believed in Bush don't want to realize that they were mistaken. That he lied, tricked, deceived, and otherwise misled them into complicity with his dreadful dreadful decisions. That they actually fell for the misinformation he doled out.

When you talk to individuals, most people seem upset with what's happened but they're not really sure HOW it happened. There aren't many people I've talked to who continue to defend Bush and who still believe he took appropriate action. I strongly feel most people were so swept up in the fear/rage/terror cloud that followed 9/11 (and that BushCo cleverly used to their advantage) that they were willing to accept anything if it made them feel marginally safer. I wonder how safe they feel now?

So here's where my analogy breaks down: In the case of a violent crime, it wasn't the victim's fault. In the case of what's happened in America, it is our fault. It's our fault for allowing such horrific things to be done in the name of our country. It's our fault for being apathetic, slack, lazy, and dull minded. It's our fault for not fucking paying attention before now. What has happened, what has been done in the name of the United States of America is OUR fault - we allowed it. Bush is a direct result of the economic system we've built for ourselves - where the rich get richer, do what they want to assure their continued survival & growth, and the rest of us run along behind.

I personally have difficulty saying that because I spoke out against it and I prayed for it not to happen. However, being part of a democracy, twisted and corrupted though it appears to be, means that you're also responsible if things get fucked up. Can't claim to be 'by the people, for the people' and then say "But only when the results are good." We did this. In this instance, the American people are not the victims. Yes, I realize there are major major problems within our country but speaking to the issue of war, I believe we have to accept our responsibility also.

There's a part of me, a big part, that wants to just lash out in righteous anger at the people who openly/actively supported Bush and his decisions. I want to hurt them and make them feel so stupid. I want to pour out my grief and my hurt onto them - I want to ask them what the FUCK they were thinking? How can it EVER be a good idea to start a war? I don't want to take responsibility for something I never wanted in the first place. I don't want to have to clean up the mess or deal with the results. Is this the price I pay for living in America? If everyone doesn't step up to the plate and do their part, do the people who are responsible always have to pick up after? Probably. That's the same pattern we see repeated in EVERY level of our society. Those who care appear to end up cleaning up after those who don't.

Wow - what a negative, rambly post. If you actually read this far, my apologies for such negative energy but I had to just rant a bit. I still haven't been successful at finding a higher perspective that feels true to me. I can say all kinds of big picture stuff like "this is an opportunity for us to step up to the plate" and "now we can see what we don't want our country to be" but those statements are not my real truth. My real truth is that I'm angry, disgusted, and afraid that America has gone too far.