speaking of sex...

I was in Powell's bookstore last night and, on a whim, picked up a book about lesbian sex. I have no idea what I expected but whatever it was, it wasn't what I got! I only read a few sentences, flipped through a couple of sections but I was pretty much knocked on my ass by some of what I read. Upon reflection, what startled me the most wasn't the explicit subject matter but the incredible difference between that book and books I've read on straight sex.

"What was the difference?" you ask. The difference is that this book didn't concern itself *at all* with stroking the male ego or making sure that the male partner felt comfortable about what was going on. Reading just those few sentences was like pulling a thin veil from my eyes. The couple of things I read were focused on both people having an equally enjoyable experience. By contrast, most of the other books I've read subtly cater to the male. No - I don't have a good example because it was more about the feel, the intent behind the words, than the actual words themselves. The book was so strongly female it was like a smack in the face.

Women have never been considered equal, especially in the sexual arena so I don't know why I was so surprised by my insight. Given the backstory, it makes sense that most books about straight sex are going to be at least slightly slanted in favor of the male. It also brought to mind essays I read on feminist responses to nuclear war and the responses those essays triggered in me. What I've realized is that I find it difficult to imagine that the female viewpoint could ever be considered as important & valuable as the male viewpoint. When I think about my point of view on this or that issue, even I find myself struggling between determining how I feel about the issue (based on my own experiences) and wanting to find rational & logical ways to construct a belief for myself.

Coming from me, that may sound ridiculous, especially to those of you who know me, but I'm totally serious. Even a person like myself, with an unshakeable belief in the strength and value of women has some trouble with the concept of true female equality. I suppose that's why I've never realized the male-directed emphasis in sex books before, because it just seemed normal that the man's enjoyment receive slightly higher priority & attention than the woman's. Or perhaps I did notice it but just accepted it and never questioned why that should be so.