Creepier and creepier

The story about Robert Blake's trial being eclipsed by Michael Jackson's is a bit surreal but the NY Times' coverage of said story is effing creepy!! The Times story reads as if Blake and Jackson are both figures worthy of such great media attention. Part of the Times story sounds critical of Blake - as if it were disappointed that he wasn't doing more to promote himself in the spotlight and grab more of the 'famous person accused of murdering someone' glory.

In fact, the Time goes so far as to include the following paragraph that implicitly glorifies not only publicity-intensive murder trials but that, in an unbelievably horrifying way, dismisses some of these accused murderers as somehow not famous enough for real consideration:

"...Mr. Blake not only fails to live up to the title of most-famous celebrity defendant in Southern California, but he is also debatably not even the most famous murder defendant in Southern California. Phil Spector, the hermitic rock producer, famous for the Wall of Sound in the 1960's, was vaulted into the limelight when he was charged with murdering an actress, Lana Clarkson, at his Alhambra home in 2003...."

Goddamn - it's as if murdering someone, or being accused of murdering someone, is now just another way to get your name out and around in the celebrity spotlight.

Not sure what to think

I read Slate's review of Hillary C's "Anniversary of Roe v Wade" speech and I'm not entirely certain how I feel about what she said. It seems to have some sticky undercurrents of religiosity was well as trying to ease off the "it's a woman's body, woman's choice" stance. I'm guessing she's trying to appeal more to the middle - to the people who don't like the idea but who are also queasy about forcing victims of rape or incest to carry unwanted pregnancies.

One of the things that bothers me about her speech is the remarks she made about abstinence and birth control. Her comment "7% of women who don't use birth control make up 53% of abortions" seems extremely misleading. How many of those are rape and incest victims? How many belong to a religion that doesn't allow birth control? How many abort for medical reasons?

And why does it suddenly become AGAIN about the woman not using birth control? Why isn't the comment something like "53% of pregnances that are aborted are the fault of men who didn't use prophylactics? And if they're going to talk about abstinence, why isn't the focus on young, teenage boys? If the FDA is reluctant to approve the Morning After pill because it doesn't want to promote promiscuity, why the fuck isn't it recalling condoms or putting age restrictions on them?

All this is just another not-so-subtle way to try and control both women's bodies and our sexuality. There are WAY better ways to avoid unwanted pregnances and unwanted children - education and family planning are at the top of the list but, OOPS, those programs aren't a priority (or even funded) anymore thanks to this administration. And how many stupid women voted these asshats back into office? Think about that if you're the one who suddenly gets pregnant and is looking for a clinic.

Gore Vidal and Democracy

I *really* like Gore Vidal. He's been a bit of a hero of mine for a couple of years - ever since I read "Dreaming War: Blood for Oil and The Bush-Cheney Junta". Amy Goodman from Democracy Now!, top-notch progressive journalist, interviews him on the Bush coronation speech...

tidbittles

You have GOT to check this out!!! Ever wonder where that cool, bobbing, glowing light on Finding Nemo came from?

It's ALL about the public domain

Inaguration and Jon Stewart, need I say more?

It never works

Torture doesn't work. It doesn't work because it happens on all sides during war, not just one. We found out that our government and military condone torture (as in Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib). I would also mention that this is happening prisons around our country but that no one (in the media) cares enough to talk about it. Now, we're hearing that some of our POW's who were tortured are on the verge of being given the shaft by our own American judicial system.

No matter who's doing the cutting, burning, impaling, whipping, beating, or screaming, no one wins. Too bad our media has decided that this story, and the other stories of government-sanctioned torture and abuse (against both US citizens and 'foreigners'), are no longer important enough to talk about.

The neverending sob story

Will the constant whining of marketing and ad executives never stop? According to an article on Alternet, some television executives are offended when people attempt to avoid or skip advertising. Here's a snip from the article:

===================================
"...When we watch ads, we become the media's workforce," says Sut Jhally, author, media critic and founder of the Media Education Foundation. "They are, in effect, organizing our time. They have even said that there is an implicit contract with the audience. If a person chooses to watch a movie or TV, they say it's immoral to skip the ads."
===================================

So now it's IMMORAL to skip ads that feature almost every sort of vice that morality groups preach against? It's now immoral for women to try and avoid ads that do nothing but tell us how second-rate and imperfect we are, along with encouraging us to further harm ourselves with relentless dieting and weight loss products?

Not that all advertising is directed towards women - how about all those children whose parents are trying to help them learn to be less materialistic? They're now immoral (and, perhaps, bad parents) for trying to instill a sense of material responsibility in their children by screening them from all those ads designed to make them scream for toys?

I'm supposing it's also against god's code of conduct that we turn away from ads that promote promiscuity (every clothing, perfume, makeup, shaving cream, and pantyhose ad on the market), gluttony (fast food), and lust (again, practically every ad that has humans in it), not to mention ads that promote violent behaviors (almost every ad for major league sports).

So we're supposed to watch all these things, buy the products, but not do the activities or use the stuff we've bought? There's something wrong with this picture...and it ain't the hot guy in a thong.

Gimme a break

I posted an ad on the personals on craigslist a few weeks ago and received quite a number of responses. A couple of them progressed as far as coffee & conversation but that's pretty much it so far. Anyway, one of the people I met, I'll call him Jim, was pretty nice but vastly different than he portrayed himself in his email. Not that he lied or sent pictures of a different person or anything, he was just really different.

His emails were enthusiastic and chatty but he was nervous and quiet. He came across as one of those people you really have to work with to get decent conversation and that absolutely doesn't work well for me. Also, he was rather aggressive with the first-date kissing. I mean, I'm okay with a little goodbye kiss on the first date but it was just a little much. However, I said he could call me and we'd see if it worked out that we could see each other again.

That was probably a week, week and a half ago. He's called once or twice but I haven't had time to go out. We spoke earlier this week and he was going to call Thursday or Friday & see if we could get together. Well, he didn't call until 9:30 Friday night, by which time I'd already made plans for Saturday - my only free day. I told him this and then, unexpectedly, found myself saying that I just didn't think this was going to work.

I was being honest - I don't know that I really have time for more than an occasional coffee or dinner with someone - but it was partly that I didn't want to exert all that effort for him. Well, instead of taking it gracefully, he made a comment about how I just couldn't make time for him. I responded by saying I wasn't making time for anyone and he said that I could if I wanted to. I asked him if he wanted me to make up some reason why I didn't like him - that he drove the wrong kind of car or something. He said no, but that he wanted to know (basically) why I didn't like him - why I wouldn't make time for him.

Those of you who know me know that I don't put up with those sorts of games. I don't like to play "give me all the reasons why you don't so that I can come back with all the reasons why you should." If it ain't there, it just ain't there. So I told him that I was being honest, that I didn't feel that I had the time, and that I didn't think I owed him any other explanation. Well, that finished it. He said thanks and we hung up.

When it comes right down to it, why do we choose some people over others? I just don't think there's always a good answer. Especially if the people you don't choose are nice enough in their own right -- it's not a cut and dried decision that's based on certain, detailed, factual information. For me, it's about the connection and the energy. If either of those things is missing or weak, I'm less inclined to want to spend time with that person.

But it can so often turn into that nasty little dance where I'm being honest but the other person is playing out their personal drama and it doesn't matter what I say, it's interpreted as the fulfillment of whatever bad thing they were expecting to happen. So whatever his fear was (that he was too pushy, that he wasn't witty enough, or whatever other stuff), that's how my explanation will be construed.

Too bad - it's never my intent to hurt anyone's feelings, but I'm also not interested in engaging in those ridiculous, explanatory conversations that end up doing no good whatsoever.

NOTE: Yes, I realize that he was partly right when he said I just didn't want to make time for him, but that wasn't the only reason. Apparently, my mistake was in not agreeing with his reasoning immediately. I suppose it's one of those times when I had to decide just how much of the truth I was willing to tell and I misjudged.

Following up

As a follow up to my previous post about my NV class, I need to say that things are on a much more positive track. After speaking with three or four different friends, I wound up speaking with crey - who set me on the track by using the word "feedback." As Prof NV has been a friend of mine for a while, I was really struggling with my feelings about the incident in class and what it meant not only in the context of class but also in our relationship.

Crey suggested I approach him with feedback on the class and that's what I did. He was great. We had an extremely honest discussion (honesty from both of us) and I learned that some of his reaction to what I said wasn't driven by what I thought but by something outside of class entirely. He was extremely receptive, acknowledged what I said and apologized unreservedly - making no excuses or justifications.

I deeply appreciated his willingness to listen to me, recognize what I was saying, and acknowledge his part in the incident. He also brought the issue up in class this past Thursday, apologized to all of us, and took some time to talk about feminism and nonviolence and the importance of the feminine perspective in nonviolence theory. I thought it was a great trust-building moment and I'm hopeful that the class now has a tighter feeling of community.

I guess what I appreciate most of all was that he authentically listened to me - as a person - and didn't try to lessen what I was feeling or dismiss my concerns as overreaction. He has been a mentor to me for a while and this incident served to not only restore my trust in him as a mentor but also to strengthen my admiration for him as a person.

I was afraid

Today was Inaguration Day for the second time for Bush. I'm not going to comment except to say that he wasn't elected the first time and, as far as I'm concerned, he wasn't elected this time. He may be living in the White House with all the perks and privileges given to the president, but he is not MY president. But I digress.

Here in Portland, as you may know, people will protest and march about almost anything. That said, Inaguration Day (or Coronation Day) is, of course, a more than perfect opportunity for many of us to march. Organization for the day's marches and protests has been going on for weeks and there were a number of different groups organizing all over the city. Prof NV required all his classes to attend one of the protests rallies and make observations. No participation required, just observation.

I attended a rally (a whole other sad story) and, as I was walking back to campus, fell in with the *big* march that was winding its way from the northside down towards the southside. I happened to meet up with some friends and walked with them til the end. I didn't realize we were at the end until I saw people walking back towards me and lines of police blocking the end of the street. I left my friends to walk up the side street, back towards school, and found my way blocked by a police officer. I tried to go around and up the street but she moved her bike in front of me and wouldn't let me pass.

Me: "Why can't I walk up the street?"
Her: "Because you can't"
Me: "Why not?"
Her: "Because you can't"
Me: "I don't understand. I'm trying to go back to school and I want to walk up the street."
Her: "Well, you can't."
Me: "But there are other people standing and walking up there."
Her:
Me: "Look at those people - they're walking up the street."
Her:
Me: "Is there something wrong with me that I can't walk up the street?"
Her:
Me: "Is there something wrong with me?"
Her:

She had completely zoned me out. I had ceased to exist for her as a person. She would not speak to me, look in my direction, or make eye contact with me. I was no longer visible, even when I was asking questions. I walked back a bit and encountered two other officers on bikes. I tried asking them the same questions but quickly discovered they didn't know, didn't want me asking questions, and got impatient with me for even asking. I walked to another street and went back to school.

But the encounter with the first cop stayed with me. It was the first time in my life that I consciously felt afraid. I was afraid that I could get hurt, but was more afraid of law enforcement itself. I felt that I was no longer human to Cop #1 and that she'd beat on me without any reservation if I challenged her actions. I felt vulnerable and invisible and, yet, highly exposed. She dehumanized me and disconnected entirely from the person who was standing in front of her, asking her a not unreasonable question.

She could have simply said "We'd like the crowd to disperse [over there] so please walk back that way" and I would have complied, no questions asked. But she chose to, instead, to turn on the intimidation and treat me like a nothing. I had to constantly remind myself that she was just doing her job, that she's a person also, that it's the system at fault here, not her as an individual. But she didn't see me as an invidivual, she didn't give me that credit, and it was hard not to be bitter and angry as I walked away.

And that was an insignificant encounter. I realized, in that moment, how conditioned I am to fear law enforcement and, probably, any authority that can back up its rhetoric with force. I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to go to jail, or be beaten. Mostly, I don't want to engage with the judicial system or the law enforcement bureaucracy - ever. I don't want to carry the activist badge of street cred - a story of a run-in with cops or a stay in jail/prison. I want them to leave me alone. I want to be invisible to the machinery, even as I want them to treat me as a person.

And millions of people live with this fear, greatly magnified, every, single day. They live with it because of economic reasons, the color of their skin, their choice about where to sleep, their decisions about the use and sale of drugs, and so on. Innocent people and guilty people - all living with the constant, explicit threat of violence breathing in their ears and watching their every move. If I was so afraid as a result of that nonencounter, what is the fear like when you are a young, black male who's arrest for DWB (Driving While Black)? That's not just a fear of getting a ticket, that's a fear of getting dead.

I never realized just how trained I am to be afraid of what can happen to me from tangling with the police. I have even an even deeper respect and awe for the courage of those who do it with purpose and specific intent. I cry when I watch the films from the civil rights movement that depict the viciousness and brutality of police in the south. I cry when I watch Gandhi's people march on the salt works and get beaten back with stunning force and abandon.

After tonight's experience, my resolve to continue working to address these issues is increased immeasurably. If all those people were willing to overcome something so unconscious and ingrained as the fear of being hurt by the authorities, then I have a responsibility to step up as best I can. I don't know that any of us really wants to be beaten, so the best thing I can see to do is to transform this society - the one that thinks that beating people is acceptable.

Self justification

I'm not entirely sure how I can justify having four days off and having done reading for only one class. I've done any number of school-related tasks but, somehow, I just couldn't get all the reading done. I did manage to plow through an incredibly dry book for my Urban Schools class - a book, I might add, that seems extremely limited and somewhat irrelevant to the course. I did not manage to do any of the reading for my psych course or for the nonviolence class.

I'm assuming my reading procrastination comes from an both extreme aversion to dense academic articles (psych) and an incredible attraction to laziness. In fact, I'd say that the laziness probably played a much greater role than the aversion. lval actually told me tonight that she held me up as an example of a good student to her partner. I was quick to correct her in that I am superb at giving the appearance of a good student but not always so good at the follow through. It also doesn't hurt that can I talk the academic bullshit with the best of them, often without doing assigned reading...

Walls

What does it mean
when I’m encouraged to ask
then told that asking is wrong
when I’m told to speak out
then told I’m speaking too long

What does it mean
when someone says “go ahead”
then says “not that far”
when you ask “what’s the problem?”
then you’re told “you are?”

Not okay - at all

I mentioned briefly, in a previous post, that my instructor in my Nonviolence class seemed to have some pretty set ideas about nonviolence, at least within the context of the class. Prof NV is a friend of mine, in addition to being my instructor, and that made what happened in class even more surreal. From our friendship, I had made some assumptions about my Prof's beliefs on nonviolence, how to integrate it as lifestyle & philosophy, and its use and place in our society. However he may feel about these things personally, it sure didn't come out in class.

What happened is that I volunteered to facilitate discussion around one of the books grad students were asked to read. This wasn't the reading I had signed up for but I volunteered because I had read the book fairly closely and had some ideas I wanted to present to the class. The book is Gene Sharp's "The Power of Nonviolent Action", part one "Power and Struggle" and is considered by many to be the foremost handbook on nonviolent action (both practice and theory) in the world. We had to write a reflection on this so I used the ideas I put forth in my reflection to help generate discussion.

Although I have a great deal of respect and admiration for Sharp's work and thought he was extremely clear and precise, I did have some critiques of the book. Here are a couple of things I wanted to discuss:

• His ideas about power are centered around "power over" and not "power with." My personal feeling is that, in order to continue moving forward, we have to move away from the current "power over" paradigm and move towards other models.


• The entire book was written from a distinctly white, male, privilege perspective. All the pronouns were male, the language is extremely militaristic (i.e. warlike even though it's about nonviolence), and it's very much about the movement and control of power. Although I'm not a feminist scholar or critic by any means, I felt this was a huge point and that we should take this into consideration when reading the book and talking about his philosophies. Nonviolence from a feminist perspective could look extremely different. I also think his lack of feminist viewpoint ties in closely to his ideas about the control of power.
  NOTE: After speaking with hcul, I realize that I've made some implicit assumptions about the connection between some of my points that others may not see. My apologies if this is confusing.


• I didn't feel we were critically looking at the idea of nonviolence but that people were accepting it just because the idea of action that doesn't include violence is intriguing. While I wholeheartedly support nonviolence in almost any context, I do NOT agree that we should just swallow any ideaology without examining what it truly means to us, in our lives. When we do that, we become just as dogmatic as those we claim to oppose. Nonviolence is such an appealing idea that most of us probably aren't willing to seriously look at what it means and recognize the possibility that it can also be used to harm.

When I raised each of these points, I felt a great deal of pushback and defensiveness from Prof NV. My classmates seemed somewhat willing to engage in at least some discussion but much of what he had to say either trivialized or dismissed my points entirely - especially my rudimentary feminist critique. He did allow the conversations to continue for a bit but when he weighed in (with all the weight of classroom authority and personal credibility), I felt shut down.

He definitely went on the defense about Sharp's book with regard to the lack of feminist perspective claiming that we had to make concessions for the language of the time and so on. He basically reduced the feminist argument to pronoun usage and I don't consider that acceptable or appropriate. He also completely negated any future attempts to address structural violence by making a fairly strident claim that (paraphrased) "nonviolence in this class is going to address the issue of direct violence only."

I realize this post is a bit rambly and disjointed but I'm writing it in an attempt to clarify and process what happened. I feel that any discussion about the broader scope of nonviolence as a philosophy that can inform nonviolent action was completely shut off, as was nonviolence potentially being used to harm others (structural violence), and whether or not women's voices are being heard in the education of large, new generations of nonviolent activists.

I know at least one other person in class felt the same way I do about the feminist stuff but it's possible that I'm the only one who's really concerned about the other questions. What I found especially distressing is that Prof NV had told me, when I mentioned I was going to be in class, that he was glad and hoped that I'd help raise the level of discussion. Well, I'm going to keep trying but I'm not sure what's going to happen. At this point, what I'm really concerned about is being graded fairly.

By the way, here is a feminist discussion of natural and manmade violence and another on the connection between militarism and violence against women.

Just another example

American arrogance continues to grow by leaps and bounds. Considering that our initial aid package to help with tsunami relief was [embarrassed cough] $15 million that was only grudgingly increased to [another embarrased cough] $40 or so million after enormous public outcry, I'm not entirely sure why hearing that the US is now planning to spend $37.5 million on our own tsunami warning system surprises me.

Hey - if the white house can spend $40 million inagurating an unelected person into office (again), why not?

This is why I'm not blogging on politics anymore and why I only keep up with the bare minimum of what's going on in the US - I'm sickened, disgusted, and ashamed at the selfishness and ignorance of the people making decisions. I'll get through these next few years by focusing on what I can do to help and not so much on how much I am revolted by the current state of my government.

What's on the table this term

I'm taking three classes and mentoring two sections. Here's a quick roundup:

My classes are Nonviolence, Psychology of Conflict and Peace, and Urban Schools and "At Risk" Status. So far, the psych class is proving to have the highest level of dialogue and intellectual challenge. I have to give props to our prof for that - she is insistent that we keep questioning and not get stuck on one perspective, throwing out others. I also have to recognize my fellow students and their dedication to learning and discussion in the classroom.

The Urban Schools class is a bit different. I missed the first class (I was taking another course then decided to drop it and pick up this one instead) but the second class was a bit disappointing. Even though there are (I think) more undergrads than grads in the class, the level of discussion was almost nonexistent. There is a great project we have to do so I'm really looking forward to working on that. Also, lval is in the class and that makes it more fun :)

Our instructor is a pleasant woman, with a lovely and accommodating classroom manner, but I question whether she's going to push the students to challenge their thinking. I was one of about three people who spoke up and I hadn't even done the reading! Our instructor does talk quite a bit about her own experiences, which gets old fast. Not that I don't want her involved in the conversation, I just don't want everything to be about what's happened to her. She's also not asking the hard questions - questions that I think are important if this information is going to mean anything.

As for my Nonviolence class, I discovered last night that my prof has some pretty set ideas about nonviolence and doesn't seem willing to question or challenge them. Anyone who does (i.e. me) is pretty much dismissed with a dash of contempt. We'll see what happens over the rest of the course.

The overall term is going include quite a bit of reading and writing so I'll be pretty busy there. I'm also going to be working on this year's War, Peace, and Media conference, possibly reviving the Oregon Peace Studies Consortium, working with my Transformational Education group, working with SUN, and trying to meet some people outside the academic environment.

Super quick

School is proving to be quite, quite demanding this term. Not only work-wise but simply time wise. I figured it out last night and I'm a classroom around 25 hrs a week - 6 of them as a teacher, 5 of them as a participant/co-facilitator, and around 14 as a student. I'm on campus a LOT. However, I'm also trying to not let school dominate my life entirely and have one, maybe two, off-campus activities.

Honestly, all I want to do when I'm not in class is collapse into a chair. However, I realized a day or so ago that after my next term (Spring 05) I'll be 99.9% done with all the coursework I planned for myself. Yup - I'll be done with my self-directed curriculum. I may still pick up a couple of more classes but everything I initially listed will be finished. In a year. I need to meet with my committee and see what the next step is - I'll probably need to propose a project/practicum and plan on completing that next Fall, in addition to taking my exams. Looks like graduating in June, 2006 is a distinct possiblity.

I'm not so sure

that this stuff is all nonsense. I had it do a reading on my full birth name and I think it was pretty accurate. Here it is for your review:

Name Analysis: Marie C'leste Holland

Expression: 5

The Expression number shows us who we truly are, what we came into this life already knowing. This is where we feel most comfortable and how we automatically act. We attract people and situations to us that require our Expression so that they can further evolve. In this way we play the role of teacher. Naturally we are attracted to occupations that we resonate to, so the Expression number can be a strong factor in our choice of a career as well. Our Expression is the vehicle, with all its virtues and vices, that drives us along the path of our Destiny. It is the essence of our identity.

You use life changes like rungs on a ladder. Growth, variety, beginnings and endings are constant elements in your life. You are able to let go of anything or anyone in order to further your growth. Because of this ability, coupled with a talent for translating new ideas into logical, useful explanations, you would make a great teacher and/or writer. Travel is something you are made for, even if only through your mind.

Soul Urge: 5

The Soul Urge number has also been called Heart's Desire and Spiritual Urge. It is our secret, innermost longing. Our dream, our motivation, the fuel that energizes our journey. The Soul Urge number reveals what we secretly strive to be or accomplish. Some have said that this number tells us what we have been in previous lifetimes, the accumulated growth of our soul.

Variety is what drives you. For this reason travel, the arts, education and self expression are areas where you are likely to be found. Freedom to choose, to move about without limitation, to absorb information and to observe life are imperative to your inner health and happiness. You crave stimulation and may be drawn to exhilarating adventures and death-defying sports. Your sensual nature will lead the way.

Persona: 9

The Persona number describes the way we appear to the outside world, the first impression people have of us. We may not even be aware of how we are perceived by others because we are so often focused on our inner world, and many times the inner does not match the outer. Persona gives us a peek at some hidden talents we have. The talents that we use to get along in the world and in some instances, protect us from it. It is likened to a bag of tools (jewels) that we carry with us along the way.

People seem to be drawn to you for absolution. You emanate forgiveness, compassion and understanding. Your charming and generous personality brings you love and good luck in abundance. Many people will be attracted to you because of your idealistic and romantic nature. Others will be transformed by your example. You express yourself in the way you dress, and it can range from dramatically bold to mystically romantic to "struggling artist".

My thoughts exactly!

What's this year's big question? Better yet, what are the answers and who gave them?

What's the point?

I haven't been posting much lately because life has just seemed not worth talking about. I moved out here for grad school and now I'm questioning whether or not that was the best decision. I missed my loved ones a great deal over the holidays and I wonder whether my quality of life has improved since I got out here.

Lately, I feel like I'm working on an MS in Disaster and a certificate in World Sorrow. The more I learn about suffering, oppression, misery, and sorrow, the more there is to learn. There seems to be nothing positive going on - no classes about positive growth, humanity's evolution towards something good, successful examples, or anything else that's happy. There seems to be almost no information to help offset knowledge of all the world's woes and I'm feeling so depressed.

I don't love my education anymore because I don't have any hope that I can make any sort of difference. Yeah - I know all those bullshitty, trite phrases about "everyone makes a difference" and "you never know what difference you make" and all that. In the long run, however, who the fuck cares? No one. Either we all end up dead - in which case it doesn't matter - or earth is a big classroom where we all come to learn and everything is as it should be for our learning - in which case it doesn't matter either.

So why bother? Why not go find a nice guy who makes good money and just shop for pretty clothes all the time? Why even care about all these miserable things my education is pointing out to me? What a joyless, despair-filled person I feel I've become. It seems I find little happiness in my life anymore and I just want to give up trying. I'm still in school but am I really interested in learning about more shitty situations? Apparently, because I'm going to classes.

How did I get to this place? This sucks.

None

no lights no strings no décor or decorated surfaces
what meaning with no one to see?

Seasonal

my heart misses
my loves and loving
the season
brings longing,
sorrow, and tears;
I am not present
to share my
heart
will they remember
my light?

May I?

She presses her tiny, soft cheek
against the squishy down
of the purple blanket –
simply joyful
that she’s allowed to
help

Comfort

thrummm thrummmm
metal barrells roll
round
warm air
whooshing through small
holes.
soft and dry
they tumble and drop

Poetry from the laundromat

I did laundry today and wrote some poetry. I'll give each of them their own entry...