Following up

As a follow up to my previous post about my NV class, I need to say that things are on a much more positive track. After speaking with three or four different friends, I wound up speaking with crey - who set me on the track by using the word "feedback." As Prof NV has been a friend of mine for a while, I was really struggling with my feelings about the incident in class and what it meant not only in the context of class but also in our relationship.

Crey suggested I approach him with feedback on the class and that's what I did. He was great. We had an extremely honest discussion (honesty from both of us) and I learned that some of his reaction to what I said wasn't driven by what I thought but by something outside of class entirely. He was extremely receptive, acknowledged what I said and apologized unreservedly - making no excuses or justifications.

I deeply appreciated his willingness to listen to me, recognize what I was saying, and acknowledge his part in the incident. He also brought the issue up in class this past Thursday, apologized to all of us, and took some time to talk about feminism and nonviolence and the importance of the feminine perspective in nonviolence theory. I thought it was a great trust-building moment and I'm hopeful that the class now has a tighter feeling of community.

I guess what I appreciate most of all was that he authentically listened to me - as a person - and didn't try to lessen what I was feeling or dismiss my concerns as overreaction. He has been a mentor to me for a while and this incident served to not only restore my trust in him as a mentor but also to strengthen my admiration for him as a person.