Peacebuilding

I'm watching the movie Redemption, about Stan "Tookie" Williams - the man who helped found the Crips and then later helped bring an end to the violence between the Crips and the Bloods. I had heard almost nothing about and what I had heard didn't really sink in. I think this is going to become a piece of my self-education. CBS News did a fairly recent piece on him and he was nominated (again) for the Nobel Peace Prize last year.

Learning more about this man and his story, his transformation and the transformation that he's precipitated - his series of children's books - what an incredible story of peacemaking and peacebuilding. I'm saddened that I haven't heard more about him in my studies to date but I know it's going to be part of my studies going forward.

What am I doing?

I have been posting rather infrequently of late and what I have posted has been pretty devoid of either political or social issues. I have done this with specific intent - that intent being to keep myself in a more healthy frame of mind. I'm not sure if other people have this same issue but I tend to invest myself emotionally in many of these issues (i.e. like governmental abuses, deliberate deception, coporate greed, and the rest of the endless list) and they become extremely personal for me.

In case you didn't already know - that's not a healthy way to live. I've also been doing a great deal of thinking about the direction of my studies. I just picked up (again) Marianne Williamson's "Healing the Soul of America" and she's articulated exactly what I've been feeling - that there's more to the idea of nonviolence than simply its use as a strategy of war.

One of the problems I've had with some of the information I've read/heard is the lack of attention paid to the necessity for personal spiritual growth and love in the entire process of nonviolence as a change agent. Although nonviolence as practical policy has proven effective, I question its continued effectiveness without adding back in the element of love (for both self and other). Marianne speaks to this point directly and uses writings from both King and Gandhi to point to the fact that love is not an expendable item when it comes to nonviolence.

Gandhi and King both speak of a practice of personal spirituality (or perfection) as absolutely necessary for the success of any nonviolent practice. My take on this is that they mean an ongoing practice, not just a mental ramp-up to a nonviolent action. But how does this play out in real life? I guess that's my question. And how can I bring this idea into an educational setting? Another good question.

According to to Marianne, nonviolence is the natural manifestation of a person's movement towards their authentic, loving self. Once we have learned to truly love ourselves and stop behaving violently internally, it is natural that we would reflect that behavior externally.

I've got quite a bit more thinking and studying to do around this topic but it feels like I'm going in the right direction again.

Differing views

I just had a discussion with my brother about a similar sort of topic - guns in general and the demise of the assault weapons ban. Here's the email I wrote in response to some information he sent me:
=======================================

You're absolutely correct, numbers can be finagled to say anything anyone wants them to! My problem with guns, however, is not how they stack up statistically with other types of accidents & deaths but the fact that a gun is designed to do only one thing - kill. It's true that lots of people do stupid things and have all kinds of fatal accidents in cars (or with horses or whatever) but cars are not designed solely to kill or damage. Cars (and horses) can be used in those ways, but it's not the sole purpose for the invention of the car.

Guns, however, have no purpose other than destruction and I find it disheartening that so many people feel the need to have them. I know that guns aren't the cause of violence in our society but I think that they definitely raise the stakes in violent conflicts. If the only weapon at hand is a knife, it's possible (for various reasons) that a violent conflict won't end in a fatality. Although the presence of a gun doesn't ensure fatality, it raises the possiblity MUCH higher than the presence of a knife or no weapon at all.

All that said - I know that you are a responsible gun owner and are one of the few people I trust to handle & store them safely. I love you bunches & bunches, even though you're a gun-totin' guy :)
==============================================

That's pretty much the gist of my arguments against guns - any type of gun. It's actually my position on any sort of weapon whose sole intention is to kill/maim/destroy. We can hurt ourselves quite a bit without 'things' designed to make the hurt more intense and the suffering more prolonged. I won't argue against the right to keep and bear arms but I do question the basic premise - that carrying a weapon makes our world a safer place.

Reflecting

I'm sitting here listening to the theme from "American Beauty" - it's a lovely, somewhat mournful song. I'm blogsurfing (my latest fun sport) and just found this gentle little blog that is focused on the children in Iraq. I was saddened to see that Dave's friend, Khalid, was recently murdered in the war and send my sympathies to his family. You may also want to see some pictures of Iraqi schoolchildren.

The man who wrote the entry about Khalid is a veteran of this war - a young man recently returned from service. People like him are the reason that I've never condemned those who choose to serve in the military. Whether or not I agree with the government's obsession with the military-industrial complex, the fact remains that there are kind and caring people who feel the need to serve in this way.

"Sometimes, in order to be Who You Are, you must first be Who You Are Not." ~God

Maybe, our soldiers are learning about the people they don't want to be. Maybe, they will become our next powerful voices for peace - a truly lasting and sustainable peace. Those who have experienced the horrors of war possibly have a much greater incentive to see it end.

Oh - the shame of it!

I got this link from the Oregon Biker Scum mailing list - enjoy!

Information dump

I just crawled in from a weekend class - 20 hrs in 3 days - and my brain is feeling like a bag of smashed Fritos. The class was Nonviolence and Public Policy and even though I only sat in (no grade), it was pretty intense. Before moving to Portland and beginning school, I had this idealized version of nonviolence and peace studies. I thought that people involved in these areas were somehow enlightened, evolved to the point that they were able to share their higher perspective with all of us in gentle, loving, and joyful ways.

While that isn't untrue, I've discovered that the much more, or so it seems to me, prevalent view is that nonviolence is a strategy to be used in ongoing power struggles - a practical policy in large because it causes the least loss of life (hopefully) and possibly less bloodshed. During my Gandhian Nonviolence class earlier this year, I didn't get that same feeling. I felt (strongly) that Gandhi spoke to the spiritual aspect of nonviolence - insisting that devotion (spiritual devotion) was as important as both knowledge and action. For me, the perspective turns toward the larger issue - what can we do to help alleviate power struggles?

From what I saw this past weekend, there is a great deal of knowledge and action but they seem disconnected from devotion. I may be mistaken, but the overall impression was devoid of a higher, more spiritual perspective. It's true that there are a wide variety of religious institutions involved in nonviolence work and that all manner of spiritual leaders preach (and practice) nonviolence, but something still seems to be missing.

This feeling is not new for me and is something I'm still pondering, so I'll move onto an observation I heard from one of my classmate and one of my own. The observation from my classmate was new to me and I found it quite thought-provoking:

Is nonviolence actually effective? One of my classmates, a black woman from the South, expressed disillusionment with Dr. King and the accomplishments of the Civil Rights movement. She was clear in her feelings that blacks are no better off now than they were before 1964. This was interesting to me because Dr. King's last book (Where Do We Go From Here: Chaos to Community) addressed the beginnings of the same question.

Has there been any followup on the successful nonviolent movements? This was from me and I'm talking about what has happened after nonviolent movements have 'accomplished' their stated goals. For example - what's going on in Yugoslavia since Slobo was deposed in a nonviolent revolution? Has the power structure changed to reflect a true people's government or were the members of the existing structure the only thing that changed?

The same question can be asked of the civil rights movement in the US. Did the movement lose itself because Dr. King was assassinated or would it have eventually foundered, looking for ways to address the more intangible structural inequities of class and economics? What is the next step after the more obvious goal has been reached?

I think that whatever daydreamy notions I had about nonviolence were pretty much shattered by the information from this class. When I made the decision to apply the philosophy of nonviolence to my life, as best I can, it seemed a natural progression - the next step on the path I've been on for several years now. It seems counter-intuitive to me that you can expect nonviolent resistance to create long-term, sustainable results without applying the philosophy at some point.

I'm no Gandhian scholar but I think I remember him saying the same thing. More probably, I heard it while studying him last term and instantly adopted it as part of my personal ethic. When we start looking at how to extend the positive results of nonviolent resistance, I can't stress how strongly I believe that adopting a personal (or societal) philosophy of nonviolence is crucial to long term success. At this point, however, it's just a theory and one I have absolutely no idea about putting into practice.

As a result of all this fabulous questioning, I'm now facing a minor 'dark night of the soul'. If so many people have been working for so long, with so little apparent progress, why bother? I'm no more intelligent, loving, or enlightened than any of them and it just seems so hopeless at the moment. The problems seem so large and the victories seem so incredibly small that I'm wondering if I even want to try.

Save me

For those of you who don't know, I'm a mentor in Portland State's University Studies program. I have a wonderful faculty partner (dwillia) and I'm eagerly looking forward to sitting in on the main class and facilitating mentor sessions. So why am I writing this post? What's so exciting about my little update? Simply that I currently being subjected to an excrutiating leadership video called "Bringing Out the Leader in You".

argh. It is every bit as bad as the title inidicates. It's also old - showing Bush Sr. occasionally in a 'leadership' role. I cannot even imagine being forced to endure this video as a student. I know I'm gonna be checking out as soon as the Play button is pushed. I'm going to speak with dwillia and see if we can possibly avoid showing this. The only leadership trait it brings out in me is urge to lead the stampede out the door.

By the way, I'm also indulging in some Safeway chocolate-mint cookies. They're not thin, but they're minty and chocolaty and definitely yummy!

Screaming with laughter!!!

I found this over at A Little Pregnant (in the comments) - thanks Lisa:

The Bush Clock

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?""That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man."Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

netbittles

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Poetry in training

Mentor training began this week and the first day was a true test of endurance. 150 people crammed together for 9 hrs. That needs no further elaboration except to say 'ugh'. The 2nd day (Friday) was better, less people, less time, productive activities. During one of our Community Building Activities, we were asked to write a poem. The poem was to have 4 stanzas, which began with "I am from" and then gave different things we're from. Here's my poem:

I am from
the smell of floor cleaner and disenfectant
the sounds of moving vans and vacuum cleaners
the feel of tackiness on my fingers from packing tape and newspaper wrapping
the taste of stale air in a unused house
the sight of my impermanent residence out the back window

I am from
heavy, greasy biscuits with butter and jelly
hot, sweet cornbread with pinto beans and pickle juice
crispy fried chicken
thick and cheesy *real* macaroni and cheese
sugary and thick pecan pie

I am from
"yain't from 'roun hear, are ya?"
"where are you from?"
"military brat"
"ya'll come back now, ya heah?"
"that's all raght, sugah"

I am from
heartfriends
heartfamily
all those transient people
all those paths I crossed
everyone I ever loved
everyone who ever loved me

Learn about the media

I'm not going to go on a tirade about the media but I'm going to urge you to get over to Free Press and go through their excellent primer on what's up with Big Media in today's America.

I'd almost forgotten

I'm watching the original Matrix again and I'd almost forgotten just how splendid a film it truly is. Holy goddess, it's phenomenal. I saw the thing five times in the theatre, had the video (before DVD) and now have the DVD. It's so far beyond the second two in the series I almost wish they'd just stopped with the one.

Trinity rocks.

Justifiable anger

I was talking to my friend clinc tonight and she said something that really resonated with me. We were talking about issues of size oppression and fat discrimination and she said she was angry, not at herself or her body, but at a society that made her feel bad about herself. For whatever reason, I'd never quite gotten that perspective before and I realized that she's 100% right.

Why the fuck should I feel bad about my body when I think I'm beautiful? Clinc's statement clarified what I've been feeling for a while now - that I'm no longer angry at myself for not being 'perfect' (as society defines it) but that I've been upset over feeling that I don't quite measure up; confused about why I think that there's even anything wrong.

I should note that this particular revelation is personal - there's so much literature and work being done around it that I won't even attempt to address the larger issue. It's frustrating, especially because *I'm* so conditioned to think that I should look a certain way - a way that's different from how I actually do look. I hate looking in the mirror and even thinking that I look fat or not toned enough or too fleshy. I hate that, hate thinking those things about myself.

I suppose it takes time to de-condition (or recondition) after a lifetime of brainwashing but I just want it to be over. I want to look in the mirror and like everything I see - not like most of it and want to change the rest.

What's in an education?

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about what is it I really want from my education and how it's going to play out in my life. First off, I'm not at all worried about finding a job - a great, fun job that pays really well. Second, although it took me some time, I figured out that there's a big difference between what I want from my education and what kind of job I wind up with. That may not sound like a big distinction but it is.

College seems to have become far less about education, liberation, and exploration (note the alliteration?) and far more about churning out working drones. Part of taking back my education is resisting the efforts of the educational institution to mold me into a certain form that's fit for a certain job. Education is about so much more than that but the pieces beyond preparation for the corporate workworld seem to have gotten obscured by the race for a bigger paycheck.

For me, college is about finding other people who are interested in either the same or complementary ideas, building strong communities of compassionate and caring people who want to make the world a better place. It's about finding resources and leaders; perhaps becoming a resource and a leader. It's about much more than the piece of paper and $1/hr raise that are so often the reward. Higher education should be about bringing people together on an infinite variety of levels and around an endless array of ideas and interests - it should be a place where we can learn each other's strengths and buttress each other's weaknesses.

When did education become almost solely about getting a better job? How did we lose the joy of expanding our minds and connective circles through the vehicle of education? Rote learning, mechanical instruction, and lifeless, out-of-context information have become the watchwords of higher education. Sometimes it feels like an uphill battle, getting the information I want the way I want it, but it's not always difficult. I've discovered that much of the secret is developing an authentic connection with my instructors and mentors.

I'm beginning to believe that although the information is important, building those relationships and sharing the experiences is even more vital to my growth and evolution into the person I've chosen to be. According to my spiritual teachers, all information - all the pieces of all the puzzles - is out there, ready and waiting for us to tap into. We memorize things because we haven't yet mastered the art of simply 'knowing' the appropriate piece at the appropriate time.

By my reckoning, this renders the actual bits of data far less important than the context in which they're useful or the other beings we use them with. My final thought for this post is that perhaps we need to ask ourselves some serious questions about the actual purpose of education.

Just chillin'

Just a rather uneventful day, followed by an uneventful evening. I'm hanging out, watching Angel season 4 (again) and marveling at what a wonderful, albeit dark, story Joss Whedon came up with. Because I know Charisma Carpenter was pregnant while they were shooting, it's oh-so-obvious every scene she's in - especially if you've been watching a long time. Remember those tight, skimpy tops? Long gone the way of supportive maternity bras LOL

I can feel my summer winding to a close; the real world crouching just outside my door. Am I ready to start being a different person - someone who has a responsibility to others, commitments, and deadlines. Since my last class this summer I've been floating; flying without a string and feeling light and airy. I wonder how long that feeling will last once classes begin? I don't know that I ever want to step back into life as we've defined it.

The Corporation

Just got back from seeing The Corporation and it was quite good. As a documentary, I thought it was well done but a bit long. There was a great deal of information, some of it I had heard and some I hadn't. About 2/3 of the movie is gloomy and depressing but the filmmakers do manage to squeeze in a little bit of light so you don't leave ready to commit suicide. I did enjoy a lot of the footage from the 50s - it was extremely interesting to see some of the early publicity clips from what have become today's behemoths.

There are some ideas that the film brought out that I think are worth a mention:

• Corporations (the corporate mindset) have entered the realm of institution in the company of religion, education, politics, and a variety of other social constructs.
  
• Corporations are monstrous but the people who work for them are not necessarily monstrous.
  
• Corporations are NOT who should be setting standards for appropriate behavior (i.e. the police should not police themselves)
  
• Corporate greed is flawed and those flaws can be exploited (a la Michael Moore's documentaries)
  
• There are many many many people who oppose corporate institutions - Americans do have allies around the world in this regard.
  

This list of themes/ideas could go on forever but those are the few that sprang up foremost so they're all I'm mentioning. The one I thought was most helpful and most depressing was the idea that corporations have become institutionalized. In a way, it makes it easier to define the problem but it also makes it harder to fight because it's become so entrenched.

One thing that was glaringly obvious was that the filmmakers stayed away from stories about defense contractors or others that might be heavily involved with the American military. They talked briefly about GE, for example, but didn't mention companies like Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Halliburton, etc. My feeling on this is that the topic is just too big to include - it needs its own movie.

There is a lot to be concerned about because we're entering the homestretch to lose our race with natural resources and the environment. If corporate practices & consumerism don't make some radical shifts in the next few years then there's going to be nothing to practice and nothing to consume. As with most issues of extreme social relevance, it's often discouraging to realize that so many people, in America and elsewhere, have NO CLUE simply because they're too comfortable with their processed food and carefully sanitized media.

Lest this become a rant about the stupor that engulfs most Americans and others in the world, I'll end by saying that I came away from the movie with some hope. Leaders and scholars like Vandana Shiva, Naomi Klein, Ray Anderson, and Noam Chomsky are forcing the conversation into public spaces. A filmmaker like Michael Moore has a major impact, whether he's making a political statement or chasing down unethical practices in business, and also helps push the conversations into the mainstream. Although we don't have unlimited time in which to converse, I think these things are helping. I have hope that I can help.

This is for real

For all you lefty, progressive, liberal whatchamacallits out there, here's a speech the neo-cons would like to hear Bush give. After you read this, pick your jaw up off the ground and realize that there really are people who want to hear this kind of rhetoric. Note that I said neo-cons, not all Republicans or all conservatives?

Even a not-so-savvy political newbie like myself realizes that this type of thinking doesn't include the vast majority of people in both of those camps. Well, maybe I'm being optimistic and am just hoping it doesn't. If it does, then we've gotten ourselves into a worse predicament than I orginally thought.

Ranting about the garage guy

[NOTE: This is a rant. It is probably rather stupid and pointless but it's my blog and I'll rant when I want to.]

Where I live there are two small garage/storage buildings. According to my landlord, these buildings have been rented out to a guy (I'll call him GG for garage guy) for an incredibly long amount of time. Mr. Landlord said it would take quite a bit of money, time, and effort to get rid of him, hence, he stays. I would not give a rat's ass about this except for one thing: my motorcycle.

I don't want to park it in the street so I originally parked it in the driveway in front of one of the garages. The buildings sit one behind the other, there's a driveway in front of the first one and a small concrete area behind the first one, in front of the second one. Well, GG complained that my bike was blocking his access to bldg #1 and that I needed to move it. I never saw the SOB even out here but I complied and moved it to the space between the two bldgs.

Since I was riding a lot to school this summer, I was parking on the street but, when school was out, I moved back to the driveway in front of bldg #1. I moved it to that driveway because not one time had I seen GG around - not once! The bike has been there at least 6 weeks, and GG has been out here quite a bit lately, but back in bldg #2 so no prob.

Until yesterday. Yesterday, my landlord sent me email that GG was whining about my bike being all in his way - that he couldn't get to his bldg. That stupid motherfucker. I parked the bike at least 8 feet away from the door so he could easily open it and get in and out. It was right next to the fence so it wasn't taking up a lot of room in front of the door. Hell yes - I was pissed (still am).

Well, GG was out there today so I asked what was up. He just mumbled some stupidity about the bike 'sticking out so far' and implied that I was stopping him from moving stuff in and out of the bldg. What? I said "But the bike is there now and your truck is parked right next to it - with plenty of room to open the door and take stuff in and out." He just muttered some more about it stuck out too far and he couldn't move stuff. What a goddamn fucking control freak moron.

When I emailed my landlord to let him know about the unexciting exchange, he made sure to tell me that GG had been there a lot longer than me - as if that mattered. The guy rents the BUILDINGS - not the driveways. Also, the fucker doesn't live here. If my landlord had any sort of spine, he'd simply tell the guy he has to come up with a schedule of days we keep the driveway clear or just suck it up. At any rate, I've moved my bike, albeit with much cussing, name-calling, and ill-will.

Yes - I realize this is a stupid, pointless, waste of my time. Yes, I realize that GG is probably a nice guy. Yes, I realize that my landlord probably has to work hard to balance tenant needs against this renter's long term lease. Fuck all that. I'm pissed because this guy just seems to want to tell me where I can and can't park my bike and my landlord's a spineless wimp. ARGH!

tidbittles

If you're having a cranky day, pick a card.

Cronkite weighs in on conventions

Hypocrisy, anyone?

Okay, but who actually bared the breast???

Anyone but me sick to death of the music/recording industry whining about how 'the artists' (read - industry exec wallets) are getting ripped off?

Interesting essay about online journalism & marketing.

Sure, because we're all a bunch of stupid hicks who don't know shit. Fucking media bastards.

Thanks, Big Media, for yet *another* distraction from the REAL election issues.

If all the coverage you had was limited to NBC's (like mine), you gotta wonder if you ever even saw an athlete!

Sadly enough, we're not the only country with 'illegal leaders' woes.

What he said...

Via the CodePink mailing list (the OR list), I had the great good fortune to read an exceptionally thoughtful, sensitive, insightful, and well-written piece about the Critical Mass bike ride at the RNC this past week. Reading through the essay was like finding a light in the darkness - not just because of the discussion of why people are drawn to activism but because someone else has noticed the lack of human connection so prevalent in today's society.

I would give credit to the author but the only name I saw was johnny. So thanks, johnny, for articulating in such a clear and lovely fashion, many of the thoughts and feelings that have been haunting me for months. Your essay is a gift of great value and I honor you for giving it to the rest of us. I've only included the first paragraph in this post because the entire message is long. However, it's EXTREMELY good and worth reading. I've included a link to the whole thing at the end of the snip:
=========================================
by johnny

"Two hours into this small miracle, the police were deployed to constrain the outbreak of humanity."

Notes on the Critical Mass Ride

I participated in the Critical Mass bike ride of August 27, and I have already been asked several times why I did it. After nearly three years of protest, the question sounds ridiculous to me. "Why?" I asked a News One camerawoman who interviewed me in Union Square before the ride commenced. "What, do you live in a cave? Take your pick." I resorted to my usual response, which I gave by rote, strengthened by the assurance that I was too rational to ever actually appear on the news. I explained that there were important public discussions that weren't ]happening, about the war, about globalization, about the environment, and that they needed to happen, and that until I was convinced that they were happening I was going to be making my statement in the streets.

As I rode on, I had the typical afterthoughts and, typically,spent most of the ride thinking of all the things I should have said. What nagged me the most about what I had said was that these discussions were happening. The Internet was stuffed to its infinte brim with discussion boards, news sites, blogs, comics, flash animations. Even the major outlets, the so-called corporate press, were having these discussions. Prominent magazines like Harper's, and columnists like Krugman in the New York Times, who reached hundreds of millions, all routinely agreed with me. Everyone I knew routinely agreed with me. more...
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[NOTE: I did only the teensiest bits of editing that include removing the >>'s and adding in some paragraph splits for more readability. My apologies if I've cut up the original in any way.]

Emotional numbness

Note how I managed to refrain from watching or commenting on the rest of the RNC? That's right, I didn't even watch dubya's speech {patting self on back}. The main reason I'm writing this post is to just say, out loud, that I'm tired of it all. This is the first year I've been this involved in politics, the political process, activism, social justice, etc. and I'm just tired of all of it. I don't understand how people keep themselves together after doing this all their lives. How can they bear it?

It feels enormous - the wall of negativity and despair; the well of hopelessness and fear; the constant doubts about whether or not things can actually change. I'm through the worst of it but the feelings of overwhelmedness (is that a word?) and sadness still occasionally plague me. Believing that things can change, are changing, when it doesn't feel like they are - that's true faith and I just don't quite have it yet.

I've said it before (lots) and I'll mention it again: Part of what makes this so emotionally exhausting is not understanding how Americans have gotten so extremely far away from each other. Realizing that two examples of our current polarization can watch the EXACT SAME EVENT and come up with two such totally opposite experiences of that event just boggles the mind.

I realize that a lot of this is a manifestation of spiritual and energetic shifts and changes but it's stressful to watch and participate in. I realize also that I'll probably get more involved once classes start again but I am enjoying the break for now.