Emotional numbness

Note how I managed to refrain from watching or commenting on the rest of the RNC? That's right, I didn't even watch dubya's speech {patting self on back}. The main reason I'm writing this post is to just say, out loud, that I'm tired of it all. This is the first year I've been this involved in politics, the political process, activism, social justice, etc. and I'm just tired of all of it. I don't understand how people keep themselves together after doing this all their lives. How can they bear it?

It feels enormous - the wall of negativity and despair; the well of hopelessness and fear; the constant doubts about whether or not things can actually change. I'm through the worst of it but the feelings of overwhelmedness (is that a word?) and sadness still occasionally plague me. Believing that things can change, are changing, when it doesn't feel like they are - that's true faith and I just don't quite have it yet.

I've said it before (lots) and I'll mention it again: Part of what makes this so emotionally exhausting is not understanding how Americans have gotten so extremely far away from each other. Realizing that two examples of our current polarization can watch the EXACT SAME EVENT and come up with two such totally opposite experiences of that event just boggles the mind.

I realize that a lot of this is a manifestation of spiritual and energetic shifts and changes but it's stressful to watch and participate in. I realize also that I'll probably get more involved once classes start again but I am enjoying the break for now.