Define your terms

In a recent post, I talked a bit about the difference, as I perceive it, between stating things in the negative and in the positive. I asked a friend his opinion and he said, basically, it all depends on how you define your terms. Well, so much for my fantastic new realization! Thing is, he's absolutely correct. I still believe in the power of stating things using positive and active language but I realize now that it's much more important that the parties involved in the discussion all understand and agree to the definitions. What language I choose to use after that is pretty much up to me. The words and how they're ordered are important but not as important as others' perceptions of those words.

I can use all the wonderful positive language I want to but if no one agrees that what I'm saying means what I think it means, all my fantastic rhetoric is useless. Jneal always hammers the point home - define your terms FIRST, before you do anything else. It's odd that my education didn't include the same kind of structured instruction in writing that hers did but I think I've gotten the essence of all her years of 'advanced' schooling - doing the best you can to make sure people understand what you're talking about before you talk about it. That same truth carries over into every aspect of communication. Making assumptions about *anything* is often the major ingredient in the Disastrous Relationships recipe.

Define your terms. First.