Fretful and out of my skin

It's hot here today - we jumped from the low 60s early in the week to the 90s today. I don't like it. I hate that grimy, sweaty, gritty feeling that comes from sweating and never really cooling down. I'm also moving so my apartment is trashed and I feel I have no place relaxing to go to.

I feel especially fleshy - heavy and too much in my skin. I like being present in my body but not when it feels like this - bloated and stretched and overheated. My exercise routine has been off the last couple of weeks and that hasn't helped my peace of mind at all. I haven't been able to ride, missed Flow last week, and missed three dance classes in a row (2 were the instructor's fault, 1 was mine). So I feel like a lumpy sack of oatmeal with a sweaty face and unshaved legs.

I'm also stressing a bit about moving. My new place is going to be smaller than this one by more than I originally thought. It's also not finished. My new landlady will be finishing stuff up for probably the first week or so. That means that someone else will be in and out of my space for several days. In addition to that, I'm not sure how much I can even unpack the first couple of days b/c I don't know what she'll still be working on.

If it weren't such a great little place and she wasn't (potentially) such a good housemate, I'd be having some *serious* reservations. Just the thought of not having any private space for the next fews days is wigging me out some. I mean, will she be there when I come home? Will she just pop down while I'm there?

Last but not least, I feel out of rhythm with the city. I was driving home from seeing a movie with smack and I just couldn't get the "feel" for the drive. I was nervous and edgy - like a caffeine high maybe - twitchy. I felt like I didn't belong in this city; felt pulled in all directions by unseen ropes tied around my wrists and ankles. Where am I going and what am I doing? Who am I being?

I don't know but I'm rubbing my temples and muttering "find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place..."