eastern musings

my friend pstrou died on christmas day. i found out late evening the day after. i'm out here this weekend for the funeral and such. although it's sad, i'm glad i came to see her those few weeks ago because i said my goodbyes then. it's been a bit strange these couple of days because i've seen several of my old fellow martial arts students. some reunions have been enjoyable, some have just been strange. i haven't seen some people i had hoped to see but there's nothing to be done about that.

it got me thinking about the way people pass in an out of our lives, sometimes at our choosing and sometimes not. i met so many people during those years with lstrou and so many remember me. i don't always remember them. many people i remember who don't remember me. i felt like a bit of an imposter sometimes because so many of the people i studied with weren't there. the 'first' crowd of students showed up, the older students, but my crowd didn't have much of a showing. that makes me sad. i wonder if they just didn't know or just couldn't come. i was surpised that tbrit didn't call or show up. also, my ex (stupid bastard) didn't call either. too bad, both strous loved him and lstrou wouldn have enjoyed hearing from him.

this is a bit rambly i know but it still all feels unreal. she was the first person (other than my mother-in-law) that i truly cared about who passed on...