Another weekend seminar

I'm now sitting in the grad lab in Smith, having just walked out of my second weekend seminar. The first time was back in the spring and I never came back after Friday evening. That experience was awful. This time was different. Three of us spoke with the instructor Friday evening and voiced concerns about the way she was presenting information. She was open to our discussion and seemed interested in trying to accommodate some of our needs.

Note the use of the word 'seemed' in that sentence? Although I don't doubt she listened to us, it appears that after she got home, she decided that she was going to keep the class exactly as it is. She did make an opening statement that addressed all sorts of things like students' discomfort with a different way of learning, the fact that this teaching style has worked for 2000 years, that our need for different ways of learning is cultural, and so on.

I was quite, quite disappointed. I had hoped that she would at least make one or two modifications but I don't think she did. In all honesty, I couldn't even imagine staying around any longer to find out. I guess it really bugged me because this way she considers 'experiential' is not as experience-based as she'd like to think. It's true that the practice of meditation in the class is experience-based but the way she delivers the information is totally banking system - no experience required - open head, pour in lecture.

I would have stayed for at least the meditation practices but being forced to sit for 30-40 minutes listening to her drone on about the concept we're supposed to be meditating for or about was just unbearable. It's possible that in another few years I'll be able to see value in that sort of instructional pedagogy but, right now, I don't. I've spent my entire academic life so far being a drone in the banking system of learning and I want as little as possible to do with it for a while longer.

She also mentioned that she'd tried something similar to what we asked about when she first started teaching (10 yrs ago) and it was a bad experience. I'm more inclined to believe that perhaps she wasn't too successful at facilitating it and that a more organic, less controlled learning environment makes her extremely nervous. That's pure speculation on my part, however.

It strikes me as ironic that a Buddhist practicioner, who teaches on being present in the moment and letting go of habitual ways of reacting, seems extremely attached to 'the right way' to deliver those teachings and has such a different perception [than me] of the classroom environment.