Feeling naive and sophmoric...

You know, as much as I'd like to think my ideas and my writing are impressive, I look at them and think "In a year, I'm not even going to want to admit to writing that stuff!" I guess that's the way everyone starts out - exploring the subject, turning it over, testing its weight and heft, the texture, smell, shape, and taste. Trying all kinds of ideas on, discarding them and combining weird stuff to make new ideas.

Like anyone, I'd like to think I have a contribution to make. That something I've said or some idea I came up with really made a difference. It's kind of hard when I've always felt top of my game - head of the class - until now. I guess this is similar to the transition from high school to college. Being successful in high school turns out to be vastly different than being successful in college. Being a successful undergraduate is probably vastly different than being a successful graduate student. For one thing, it means more. The ideas and subject matter are closer to my heart.

I feel like a six year who wants to learn to write, practices by herself all the time but is shy about showing her efforts to her teachers and parents. Fearful of being told her efforts are clumsy and foolish. Well, I guess this is where the courage shows up - to go ahead and do it anyway because it's worth the risk...